marriage vs moving in

[togekiss]

My boyfriend and I have been talking about the idea of marriage. It seems our non-Christian friends think it's too soon and that we should be talking about moving in together instead of marriage. They don't think it's too soon for living together but they do think it's too soon to marry. It seems so odd. We don't want to live together in sin outside of marriage. We both agree that living together before we're married is not what God wants. Why do non-Christians not support us but our Christian friends do?

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Maybe they want you to "try before you buy".

 

[Aimz]

Your Christian friends are wise in Christ.
Your unbelieving friends are wise in their own eyes which is folly to God.

 

[Jane_Doe]

My boyfriend and I have been talking about the idea of marriage. It seems our non-Christian friends think it's too soon and that we should be talking about moving in together instead of marriage. They don't think it's too soon for living together but they do think it's too soon to marry. It seems so odd. We don't want to live together in sin outside of marriage. We both agree that living together before we're married is not what God wants. Why do non-Christians not support us but our Christian friends do?

Speaking in general:
The world's philosophy here is: "sure, it's not too early to pretend to be married, and pretend like you're giving everything to each other. And if pretending doesn't work out, you just leave. It's just too early to really give everything to each other- aka really commit to the relationship and marriage".

In general, the world doesn't understand Christ's ways: they'd rather have the short term, was pay out, with a noncommittal back door installed.

Now, as to your friends specifically: Obviously I do not know them specifically and cannot speak as to their specific motives. A good friend should respect and support you, even if they don't agree with all your decisions. A good friend should try to understand your motives and love you, even if they disagree with your motives/decisions.

 

[Bluerose31]

My boyfriend and I have been talking about the idea of marriage. It seems our non-Christian friends think it's too soon and that we should be talking about moving in together instead of marriage. They don't think it's too soon for living together but they do think it's too soon to marry. It seems so odd. We don't want to live together in sin outside of marriage. We both agree that living together before we're married is not what God wants. Why do non-Christians not support us but our Christian friends do?

Your non Christian friends do not know Gods way. Your Christian friends understand Gods way.

 

[mkdrive2]

I am not an expert on relationships, but I think your friends have your well-being at heart. If they think it is too soon to marry, maybe it would be better to wait a little longer. I am not sure about the moving in part. I think you don't have to do that if it goes against your beliefs, but waiting might be wise.

Maybe it would be good to explain to your friends that moving in is not an option, but you would be glad about their guidance on knowing when it is the right time to marry.

 

[Soyeong]

My boyfriend and I have been talking about the idea of marriage. It seems our non-Christian friends think it's too soon and that we should be talking about moving in together instead of marriage. They don't think it's too soon for living together but they do think it's too soon to marry. It seems so odd. We don't want to live together in sin outside of marriage. We both agree that living together before we're married is not what God wants. Why do non-Christians not support us but our Christian friends do?

Hello,

There have been instances where people have gotten married in a short time only to find out that they didn't really know that other person, so it might be advisable wait a little longer. However, arranged marriages are at least as successful as free-choice marriages, so it ultimately is about the willingness of the couple to commit to their vows. When two people vow to love each other, they aren't vowing to always feel a certain way towards the other, but to always act in a certain way regardless of how they feel. So if two people are willing to commit to doing that, then it doesn't matter how long they've known each other, though compatibility can certainly make that easier. However, it is not advisable to live together before getting married because that is more likely to be harmful than helpful, and I encourage you to read some articles about that.

 

[paul1149]

Marriage is honorable, and the bed, holy. -Heb 13
For the foolishness of God is wiser than men,
and the weakness of God is stronger than men. -1Cor 1:25​

Take your time, be sure, honor marriage, and most importantly, make the Lord a part of your relationship. Then, when times get tough, both of you will have something to fall back on and find strength in. This is something the dominant culture tries to obscure, with increasing effectiveness.

 

[Observer]

Because you can get married and realise a couple of years down the track that your husband is abusive. You don't really know someone if you haven't lived with them. That is why I would never wait until marriage again, but Christianity certainly advises you to wait.

 

[Sketcher]

Generally speaking, non-Christians tend to not believe in waiting until marriage, and think that living together before marrying is another way of weeding out incompatible people. This is despite studies that have shown that more cheating and abuse happens in live-in relationships than in marriages.

Cohabitation Facts and Statistics You Need to Know

Personally, aside from obedience to God, I recommend against cohabitation if you're not ready to marry. If the relationship isn't going to last, you don't want to be stuck living with your ex for ANY amount of time.