Marriage tips?

[Mynamechef]

I mean I dont even have a girlfriend but can't be too prepared.

Also pretty much everyone in my family has ben divorced so I want to avoid that generational sin stuff, do I just pray into that yeah?

Anyone here stay single their whole lives? I'm thinking it as an option for sure.

 

[Endeavourer]

Here is a great article about choosing the right person to marry:

Choosing the Right One to Marry #2

 

[seeking.IAM]

Marriage tip: Be partner-focused, not self-focused. The secret to a good marriage is (a) finding the right person and (b) being the right person. I think finding the right person is the easiest part. "Being the right person" is something you have to wake up and be prepared to live out every day of your marriage. If you invest energy into being the right person for your spouse, and your spouse invests energy in being the right person for you then you can get around any hurdles that come your way.

I suspect that more people than not find the right person initially but someone stops being the right person along the way.

I haven't gotten it right every day, but I try for more days than not. It's kept us going for 43 years and counting.

 

[razzelflabben]

Mutual goal of mutual righteousness through demonstrating Ephesians 5 to the world. (marital relationship portion of Eph. 5)

 

[CoolDude68]

Two words...

"Yes, Maam"

Just do that your entire marriage and you'll be all set!

Seriously though, the number one rule is respect, and communication. Honest communication. But, it goes both ways! If you both respect each other and help each other get things accomplished it's not complicated. Bad marriages occur when one person is expected to do everything while the other one becomes lazy, or doesn't want to contribute or spend any time with their spouse. I see too many guys (know them personally) feeling like they have to play golf two times a week, then softball three times a week, then hang out with the "guys" on Saturday night. Sorry, but that's not gonna keep you in good favor with the wife and usually they fail. If you're going to marry someone then geez, show them some love and respect and don't be self-centered.

Then, these same guys I know wonder why they have issues. (rolling eyes)

 

[AlexDTX]

I mean I dont even have a girlfriend but can't be too prepared.

Also pretty much everyone in my family has ben divorced so I want to avoid that generational sin stuff, do I just pray into that yeah?

Anyone here stay single their whole lives? I'm thinking it as an option for sure.

We have been married 25 years. Marriage is a transformation from a "me" to an "us". Marriage is about integrity. The word "integrity" means "to integrate" into one thing. The old single life has to die to become the new creation of marriage. In that sense, marriage is the number one tool of Christian discipleship. The rubber meets the road in marriage regarding theology. The bottom line is that in marriage the words of God, I will never leave you nor forsake, have to be realized in marriage. God does not suffer fools who makes vows and does not keep them. When you marry, you marry for better or worse. Divorce is rampant in the Church because many Christians are not real disciples of Christ. We are to love our spouses as Christ loved the Church. Love is a choice, not a feeling, first. The feeling follows the choice, not the other way around.

 

[AlexDTX]

@Mynamechef
Some further thoughts. I made no comment on choosing a wife. When I was in my mid thirties I was desperate to marry. I courted several younger women in their twenties, but never had a sense of compatibility even though they were better candidates for bearing children. At a marriage seminar at Bible School the Lord dropped this into my spirit. Adam was not naming animals. He was seeing in the spirit and spoke the same words that God spoke to create them. In other words, he saw beyond the physical and saw in the spirit what they actually were. God was telling me I had been too shallow in my own search for a spouse. This is why when Eve was created Adam cried bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. He saw that she was the same spirit as him.

When you meet the right woman she will be the will of God for you. Knowing that she is God's will is the anchor of your commitment. In my case I had two certainties: 1) I had never met a woman that I wanted to be with every day because I felt so comfortable around her, and, 2) the Lord spoke very clearly to me saying that she was it. I say this because many marriages are not based upon a certainty of God's will, thus doubt can come in and undermine the commitment. However, as a teacher at my Bible School once said, when you marry someone they then become God's will.

Tommy Nelson of Denton Bible Church did an amazing study of the Love Song of Solomon on a biblical description of godly marriage and love. He made the comment in that study, "This is how you find the right mate for you: you run after Jesus as fast as you can, then look to your side to see who is running with you." I made my own notes on his teaching and have it as a PDF if you wish to glance quickly through it.

For us, we had to come to the realization that many of our differences were not because of me personally or her personally, but because these are natural differences between the genders. When you realize that all women are this way, or she realizes that all men are this way, it takes the fault finding off the person of your spouse and makes accepting those differences easier. The attack on the family is trying to convince us that women and men are the same, which is not true. Too many Christians do not trust their own common sense, let alone what the Bible has to say.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Mutual goal of mutual righteousness through demonstrating Ephesians 5 to the world. (marital relationship portion of Eph. 5)

Or, stated differently, setting up a Christian home?

(Love, as well as righteousness.)

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I mean I dont even have a girlfriend but can't be too prepared.

Also pretty much everyone in my family has ben divorced so I want to avoid that generational sin stuff, do I just pray into that yeah?

Anyone here stay single their whole lives? I'm thinking it as an option for sure.

As a believer:
You shall love Adonai your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,
and with all your mind.
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
The entire Torah and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

So, by us being obedient to God and His Word, we live out what our
Lord and Savior instructs us to do.

 

[Little Lantern]

Marriage Tips:
Before you are married- 1) Pray, 2) Obey
Deciding whether or not to get married- 1) Pray, 2) Obey
Living single- 1) Pray, 2) Obey
Living married- 1) Pray, 2) Obey

May you be blessed in this season of your life as you follow Christ in love and obedience.

 

[Bigork]

I mean I dont even have a girlfriend but can't be too prepared.

Also pretty much everyone in my family has been divorced so I want to avoid that generational sin stuff, do I just pray into that yeah?

Anyone here stay single their whole lives? I'm thinking it as an option for sure.

Everyone in your family might have divorced, it does not mean that once you get married you too will follow suit. Is a matter of choice lo. That is if you choose to!

The problems we are haven in marriages today are man made. Because if we want to follow God's principle of marriage, we will not this higher level of divorces around the world. It make me thinking that even in the church today, brethren are now divorcing them self. And I asked where is God in all this? Has God change? Has His change His rules in marriage?

The answer is NO! God has not change neither has He change the rules that guide marriage. One man, one wife.

Many of our youth today are only preparing for the wedding not preparing for the marriage itself. What is more important? Marriage is more important then the wedding. So stop spending too much money and time for your wedding rather spend that money and time to prepare for your marriage.

Tips for you:
1. Prepare for your marriage has you are preparing for your wedding.
2. What are your bringing to the table?
3. How do you want your family to look like?
4. Are you love-able? You can't give what you don't have. No matter what are you ready to love the woman/man with all of your heart?
5. Let God lead you to whom you should marry.
6. Prayer is important. This when you need to state telling God that you didn't want your marriage to end the ways other marriage in your family has been ended.
7. Open your eye and your heart.
8. Consider your church send on wedding and follow their rules.
9. Once you have pray to God about your partner and you have God's leading, then you can now start your courtship.
10. Try to know your partner enough before you say I do. Once you say I do, there's no going back o o not even divorce.
11. You can put a time frame of when you want to get married.
12. Please tell yourselfs about your past. This are the area that get many in to trouble after their wedding. Let him/her know now if he/she might be able to live with it if not is better to have broken relationship than broken marriage.
13. During your courtship both of you need to decide a number of things such as:
-how many children are you going to have?
-how are you going to handle your finance? Joint account or separate account.
-if there is a problem, how are you going to manage/handle it?
-when is third party going to be get involve in your marriage matter?

One of the major way I know that God leads His children today is through the peace of mind.

Even when there is infidelity in marriage, we should learn how to forgive. Is not easy but with God on your side it is possible.