Marriage after adultery

[brothers&sister]

I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 years now, we love each other very much and are born again christians so we are saved from our sins!! AMEN! I have a questiion though, we met when she was unhappily married, he is now in different part of the country with a new girlfriend and life of his own. My girlfiriend and I are considering marriage but would we be sinning by doing so? Again I state we love each other very much and have cut out lustful acts since we started going to church so are we free now to go ahead with Gods blessings?

God Bless You All!!

Praise Jesus for making me new!!

B+S

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You met this girl while she was married?

 

[brothers&sister]

Yes, she is getting divorced this year..

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You mean she's still married?
Let me ask you if you think the part you have played was helping to strengthen her marriage or destroy it?
I think you have taken advantage of a struggling marriage to serve your own ends. Now you have the nerve of asking for God's blessing in marrying the woman who still isn't divorced.
marriage is a sacred institution created by God. You do not mess with a marriage. It doesn't matter if it is a bad marriage. She is not your girlfriend, she is another man's wife.
You are sowing seeds of wrath against yourself.

 

[brothers&sister]

Thank you for an honest reply.

I knew they were married when I met her and I feel very sorry for my past and have asked forgiveness from God for that.

So my only option is to leave her then?

Thank you friend

B+S

 

[gusto5]

one thing id recommend as a 15 year old (dont laugh, but i know you are) is that problems only end when they are settled. Have you ever thought about talking to her husband? If he thinks she's leaving him becuase of you, you're hurting him.
No, dont leave her now. but settle the problem before things move on. And ill pray for you! God forgives us for everything so dont worry too much.

 

[desper84unity]

Dude:

This is a shockingly bad situation, (though there are probably worse)

I would say completely drop the 'girlfriend'. Maybe give her an explanation, that you came to your senses. Oh my, ask the Lord to forgive you. Pray for her and her husband, even though they may get a divorce. Pray for them alot.

Once you break it off. Do not even think about that girl.

I believe if you marry her it would not be a blessed situation. Have you been having sex? If so you need to find out if she is pregnant, because you would have some long term responsibilities to the child financially.

God will forgive you. But that is a serious mess your involved with. Please break it off.

 

[desi]

If she left her husband for you and you want to marry her...

 

[lostangel]

It's not good that she would want to leave her husband for you, if she's married you should have no relationship with her other then friend, becuz otherwise you are stealing another mans wife.

 

[brothers&sister]

Have any of you guys read the New Testament? Or better still heard of a thing called forgiveness? Ever heard of the "he who casts the first stone" parable? Well, here is a recap...

Firstly,
All these characters are in heaven:

Noah - was a drunk
Jacob - was a liar
Samson - was a womaniser
Rahab - was a prostitute!!
David - had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah - was suicidal
Peter - denied christ
The Samaritan Woman - was divorced...more than once

Now....I hope you all agree that when we became a christians our sins were forgiven....Praise the Lord!!! Now when I met my girlfriend I was not a christian, but became one only recently so ALL our (she's a christian too) sins until then are forgiven! Agreed? Now, many churches do re-marry people for THAT exact reason because God forgives and knows we are but humans who make mistakes that he WILL forgive if we ask him.


Thanks for the replys so far....
B+S

 

[desi]

Have any of you guys read the New Testament? Or better still heard of a thing called forgiveness? Ever heard of the "he who casts the first stone" parable? Well, here is a recap...

Firstly,
All these characters are in heaven:

Noah - was a drunk
Jacob - was a liar
Samson - was a womaniser
Rahab - was a prostitute!!
David - had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah - was suicidal
Peter - denied christ
The Samaritan Woman - was divorced...more than once

Now....I hope you all agree that when we became a christians our sins were forgiven....Praise the Lord!!! Now when I met my girlfriend I was not a christian, but became one only recently so ALL our (she's a christian too) sins until then are forgiven! Agreed? Now, many churches do re-marry people for THAT exact reason because God forgives and knows we are but humans who make mistakes that he WILL forgive if we ask him.


Thanks for the replys so far....
B+S

So now that you're Christians its okay for you to usurp a marriage? No! Now that you are Christians you should know better and act accordingly.

 

[lostangel]

if your married its for life. thats the way I see it, in the vows you say till death do us part. I think that sounds like life to me? I think that the girl and her husband should try to work things out becuz if you divorce and remarry isnt that adultery?

 

[brothers&sister]

OK so you guys are never going to sin again are you??

Of course you are, and if you think your perfect then read Job, youll soon learn a little humility.

THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON....

When we became christians we became NEW people with fresh starts, so dont anger God by saying otherwise thats why he sent his only son, once you lot learn to forgive as sincerely as God does then you can bring others to the fold, its that forgiveness that brings back the lost sheep not the Zelots who scare everyone away from the church!

I dont know what denominations you are all from but you have heard of forgiveness havent you? Jesus told us to be reborn with him as NEW people with a complete fresh start. Yes, I sinned but that is gone, we are new and God loves the new me and I love and trust him. When I went to church 3 weeks ago we went because he called us to be new, it was done for that reason so we can go on to marry as new people, with a new future together not the sinful one of the past.

I bless you all in Jesus' name and praise him for His forgiveness of ALL sins, I pray for the ability to give forgiveness of others who harm me, as long as I do that God will be pleased with me.....and you.

I LOVE YOU ALL
B+S

 

[JillLars]

Hey brothers and sister, I'm sorry that you are feeling offended by these posts. The point is, when we ask for forgiveness from our sins, we have to have every intention of not continuing to do them, we have to make an effort. Now if being in a relationship with a married woman is a sin that you have asked forgiveness for, you would not still be pursuing a relationship with her, at least not until she is divorced. If you genuinely want forgiveness for that, you can't just say "sorry" and then go right back to doing it, that's not the way it works, if we want to please God, then when we're sorry we try to improve ourselves, yes, we all stumble, but we can't ask for forgiveness knowing in the back of our minds that we will immediately commit the same sin again. Does that make sense.

I don't think that you should drop this girl, 5 years is a long time. But I think you should keep your relationship completely platonic (spelling?). Until she is divorced from her husband, she is still his wife, and you will be committing adultery as long as she is married. I hope that makes sense. I don't think anyone is trying to offend you, they are just pointing out that forgiveness doesn't mean we're free to do as we please, it means we have a 2nd chance, a chance that we should use to correct our mistakes of the past. Adultery included. I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope that everything works out for you!

 

[Hopeful]

haha lol at "forgiveness" post, anyway, i think maybe you have a guilty conscience, and maybe its becuase you did something wrong, to whom? the husband, call him and introduce yourself and tell him what happened, i dont know what he will do but you have to face that before you get rid of your guilt.

i dont think you should dump your girlfreind if you love her, there is a passage about marrying divorce women, i dont know it but anyway before i continue rambling, if God forgives you, then really what do you care about what others think? okay in summarisation, i say talk to the guy

 

[brothers&sister]

Cheers for the constructive replys so far....I think we will attempt to do exactly that (live platonic) for a while, you are right I do feel guilty in that I've sinned (who doesn't) but the ex husband commited adultery before they split and now has a girlfriend of his own and his own life. I feel that God will direct us in our future, if he feels we are going to love each other and live as good christians then he may guide us to marry, if he does'nt have that plan for us then he will seperate us...either way we both love God more than we love each other. We trust in him.

Thanks everyone!

Love
B+S

 

[reggie]

You not only need the Lords forgiveness, but hers and her husbands. God will not bless you unless you seek out forgiveness. You are in the wrong. You say you have had occasions of the flesh with her? That is adultry on both your parts.. She too needs to get forgiveness from her husband and the Lord. You are going to Church with anothers wife

 

[JillLars]

If her husband committed adultery then biblically speaking she can divorce him, which she should have done 5 years ago if she was ready to move on into a new relationship? Do you know when the divorce will be final?

 

[salsa]

Hey-- do NOT contact the husband. that is rubbing salt in a wound and is not the right thing to do at this time. A long time ago it may have been the right thing to do. I want to know, how have you been together 5 years and she has been married the whole time? How long ago was it that she moved away from her husband? Were you Christians when you met, and how has the story gone? More details would be appreciated....

Don't contact husband. Can you break it off with this girl? What is the relationship between you like? Do you live together? More details, thanks!

 

[salsa]

PS I have read that marriages born of affairs have a 25% success rate. If you are serious about this-- premarriage counseling, post marriage counseling, you will have to work HARD!!!

PPS read marriagebuilders.com