Marital Status

[Ann Doupont]

I was divorced about 40 years ago. My ex-husband then remarried and they had children together, which are now grown up.

He passed away about 3 years ago. According to social security, I am therefore considered a divorced-widow or something like that.

In filling out forms, it can be very confusing. Am I single? yes. Am I divorced? yes. Am I a widow? Well, yeah, I think so.

I'm wondering who else in here is in this same marital status.



Love,

Ann

 

[dayknee]

Im not in your situation, but you are divorced and you would not be considered the widow. His second wife would be..I can't understand why this would be confusing..
Ive never heard of social security caring if you were or even inquiring as to you being a divorced-widow. I couldnt imagine what the reason for that would be. Have you asked them by any chance?

 

[Ann Doupont]

Thank you for sharing. According to social security's rules, if a person had been married for 10 years and then divorced and then the person was deceased, the divorced-widow would be entitled to their former spouse's social security.

I was only married for 5 years; therefore, am not entitled to it. I know of someone who was married just shy of the 10 year requirement; therefore, didn't get the income when he died.

Both widows would be able to collect the social security. I thought that this is rather odd, but it's how the system works.

I then thought of this. Say I'd been married to him for 10 years and then divorced and then he married someone else for 10 years and they divorced, and then he had married another woman and then he died.

There'd then be 3 women collecting from the one social security account. I know that the US government has strange rules. Anyway, this is why they're interested in knowing a person's marital status.

I feel that I am indeed widowed rather than merely divorced. I made vows saying "till death do we part." When John died, I felt such a liberty in my heart.

Ann

 

[dayknee]

Thank you for sharing. According to social security's rules, if a person had been married for 10 years and then divorced and then the person was deceased, the divorced-widow would be entitled to their former spouse's social security.

I was only married for 5 years; therefore, am not entitled to it. I know of someone who was married just shy of the 10 year requirement; therefore, didn't get the income when he died.

Both widows would be able to collect the social security. I thought that this is rather odd, but it's how the system works.

I then thought of this. Say I'd been married to him for 10 years and then divorced and then he married someone else for 10 years and they divorced, and then he had married another woman and then he died.

There'd then be 3 women collecting from the one social security account. I know that the US government has strange rules. Anyway, this is why they're interested in knowing a person's marital status.

I feel that I am indeed widowed rather than merely divorced. I made vows saying "till death do we part." When John died, I felt such a liberty in my heart.

Ann

Wow, I have to say I have never heard of that..Iguess we learn something new all the time..
This is interesting information.
Well..Im glad you found out what you needed

God Bless

 

[lbclvsrjc]

I feel that I am indeed widowed rather than merely divorced. I made vows saying "till death do we part." When John died, I felt such a liberty in my heart.

Thanks for Sharing with us Anne and although I am not in your situation I felt strongly when reading the above statement. Is it not strange how liberation can come from someone's passing? I believe it shows someones depth of commitment, whether things were great or not and doesn't just invovle husband/wife relationships.

God Bless and Happy Holidays

 

[Ann Doupont]

Thanks for Sharing with us Anne and although I am not in your situation I felt strongly when reading the above statement. Is it not strange how liberation can come from someone's passing? I believe it shows someones depth of commitment, whether things were great or not and doesn't just invovle husband/wife relationships.

God Bless and Happy Holidays

Thank you for sharing this. Yes, it is interesting how this liberation can come with another's passing.

A similar thing happened with my mother. She passed away in September at the age of 99.

We had an unusual relationship. She seemed to cling to my faith for her continuing to live on. When she passed, it was a relief. I was no longer burdened.

Bless you.

Love,

Ann

 

[lbclvsrjc]

A similar thing happened with my mother. She passed away in September at the age of 99.

We had an unusual relationship. She seemed to cling to my faith for her continuing to live on. When she passed, it was a relief. I was no longer burdened.

Mother/Daughter, what a complex relationship! I see so many documentaries and books out about the intricate part a mother plays in the rearing of her daughter; whether she is there or not. I am seeing this in my neice, which my younger sister abandoned in 06 and her two children have been with me and my husband ever since. Although, she is not around and my neice is young, 9 this past August, not even 7 when we got her, she still has so many of my sister's behaviors. I find it quite frustrating many times and it has taken a lot not to just throw my hands up...I always seem to be the one depended on to fix, rescue or make things right...to bad I can not achieve that within my own life! Can make for a stressful life!!

I understand as well about your mothers need to cling to you for faith. It seems my mother does that with everything - she can find NO peace within herself - so she clings/squeezes you for whatever at that moment she is needing (security, reassurance, faith, hope, love, acceptance, etc.)

Wow deep thoughts on Christmas Day, God Bless and thanks for sharing ... making me really think ... sometimes I am just so lost and others I feel so connected with the Lord that it is overwhelming!!

Love and hugs,
Leslie

 

[Ann Doupont]

Bless you, Leslie. Thank you also for sharing.

It's so good to know that we're not alone on this planet. It was 3 years ago today (Christmas Day) that I joined these forums, if I remember right without checking my profile...lol

No, we're not alone. None of us are going thru the exact same trials as one another.

I remember my mother having once telling me that "everyone has problems." I hadn't known that. My problems were so complex and difficult that I hadn't understood that everyone else had problems too.

What I thought of a few years ago about problems is, "Problems are just puzzles to be solved."

Love,

Ann