Man-Hater

[spoiltbrat2003]

I find it so hard, I have had male friends in the past and boyfriends, and some drunken one night stands when I was in a bad place,
But i Just HATE them so much, letting them touch me or hug me feels like self harm because I just want to vomit!

I get close to totally opening up to male friends but they usually prove they can't be trusted,
Boyfriends are never serious, i just like to mess them about before they mess me up
i even hate praying sometimes because its "Father" and "he" is Lord how can anyone trust their father its so alien to me!

and that makes me feel guilty


Jeez....a self-harming, depressed man hating psycho...don't really have much going for me do i ?

Oh well a little vent there

 

[Xipilgrim]

I find it so hard, I have had male friends in the past and boyfriends, and some drunken one night stands when I was in a bad place,
But i Just HATE them so much, letting them touch me or hug me feels like self harm because I just want to vomit!

I get close to totally opening up to male friends but they usually prove they can't be trusted,
Boyfriends are never serious, i just like to mess them about before they mess me up
i even hate praying sometimes because its "Father" and "he" is Lord how can anyone trust their father its so alien to me!

and that makes me feel guilty


Jeez....a self-harming, depressed man hating psycho...don't really have much going for me do i ?

Oh well a little vent there

I am male so you might not want to listen to me, but I can assure you I have no ulterior motives.

I think you need to take some time out for yourself, forget about relationships & rediscover about yourself. And also...stop beating yourself up about eveything and feeling guilty, cause that will just make you feel worse.

Chill out, Do some things that will take you away from making demands upon yourself. . Yo seem to be in one of those dreadful cyclical arguement//catch 22 type things that we all get into sometimes...you need to break out of that cycle.

faith manages

 

[LazeyWinde]

Calling God 'Father' made me balk for a while too... until I realized that he's not like my biological father or any other man on earth. I t alked about it a bit in my testimony:
http://www.christianforums.com/t4460256-my-father-sorry-that-its-so-long.html
I hope this helps. *hugs*

 

[Akathist]

God is only loving and good. Christ came is a man and that can be a way to see that men are not naturally all bad.

I once struggled with being able to trust that God wouldn't abandon me since my natural father did. So, I can understand your post a lot.

But I have come to see that all humans are weak and we all fall short. I have come to see that at the same time men (and women) can do some wonderful things. The issue for me personally, is not to have the expectations that others will be perfect. Everyone has their weaknesses. I think about how many times I have let other's down and I think about how my intention was not to cause harm but that I let other's down because of my own weaknesses, my own problems. Now, when someone let's me down, I feel more understanding and it is easier to forgive.

God is perfect. Humans are not. God is all loving and NOTHING can seperate you from that love. Human's are often controlled by emotions and feelings that are not reliable.

We are called to love others like God loves.... to love no matter what. I think of that when other's disappoint me, and I try to focus less on how bad I feel about it, and more on how I can be loving to them just the same.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[jesusxchick]

I find it so hard, I have had male friends in the past and boyfriends, and some drunken one night stands when I was in a bad place,
But i Just HATE them so much, letting them touch me or hug me feels like self harm because I just want to vomit!

I get close to totally opening up to male friends but they usually prove they can't be trusted,
Boyfriends are never serious, i just like to mess them about before they mess me up
i even hate praying sometimes because its "Father" and "he" is Lord how can anyone trust their father its so alien to me!

and that makes me feel guilty


Jeez....a self-harming, depressed man hating psycho...don't really have much going for me do i ?

Oh well a little vent there

There are many men out there who only want to hurt and cause nothing but stress and pain for women that they come in contact with. But there is one who would never do that and that is God. He loves you so much and wants to be there for you.

The past can be something that keeps us from being happy and experiencing the peace and joy of God because of the memories and hurtful things that happened. But you have to allow God to help you because He wants to.

I can assure you that God has no motive that is harmful to you. He wants to take care of you and give you joy in all things.

I'll be praying for you!

 

[Solaris]

The males in your age group are going through the "horndog" stage. They are not men yet even though in the states they can vote and make contracts. For the most part they will not become men until they are around 25 and unfortunately, often as late as 30.
It sounds to me like you have been meeting jerks and ------. There are plenty of nice men out there, not too many of them hang out in bars or dance clubs.

 

[God713]

I can only see one way out of your problem.
Now this may seem a little irrational to start with, but have a good think about it before you make your decision.

You should join me in my quest towards heaven, where Allah will look after us.
Allah will provide us with our place in heaven and you will recieve many virgins who will cater to your every sexual requirement.

Please P.M me so i cann tell you more of the truth.

 

[catlover]

It may also help to get counseling to find out why you are in the cycle.

 

[Surviving]

I think that feeling like this after being so let down by men is quite normal. It will take a while though to trust them again.

I went from one boyfriend to another all the way through school. From the age of 11 until I was 17/18 I guess I had at least 20 boyfriends. Something of which I am not proud of. But I wasn't happy, and I was messed around quite abit. Some of my boyfriends were like 15 years older than me...and I was still at school.

It wasn't until I met someone who took me for who I was and constantly told me that he loved me. I didn't believe him at first as I was too scared to trust him. To cut a long story short...he is now my husband. We have been married 4 years this year and will have been going out for just over 7 years. I was lucky to have a boyfriend for 7 months, let alone getting married.

What I am trying to say, is that you will get there. It will take some time to rebuild the trust with someone, but you will do it. Hang in there.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I find it so hard, I have had male friends in the past and boyfriends, and some drunken one night stands when I was in a bad place,
But i Just HATE them so much, letting them touch me or hug me feels like self harm because I just want to vomit!

I get close to totally opening up to male friends but they usually prove they can't be trusted,
Boyfriends are never serious, i just like to mess them about before they mess me up
i even hate praying sometimes because its "Father" and "he" is Lord how can anyone trust their father its so alien to me!

and that makes me feel guilty


Jeez....a self-harming, depressed man hating psycho...don't really have much going for me do i ?

Oh well a little vent there

hmm.. Spoiled your just starting to understand the scope of your problems. No need to feel guilty, you are humbling yourself and saying Hey I got a real problem. That is first step on long journey my sister.

These vultures have taken advantage of your weakened state, and it is no wonder you dislike men. Easy for me to say this, but you have to believe that there are good men out there. The vultures are not men and God will deal with them.

You need help in this, someone you can trust to help you sort thru all these problems. Got be someone or some program that you can join. Have to realize you are not alone, and you can get better.

Keep your faith in God and build hope that he will help you. Look to the scriptures for wisdom and guidance.

If I can be of any further help let me know Spoiled. I will pray for you sister

 

[mebby02]

Some guys out there are pig not all but some especially at this age. My boyfriend is almost 30 and he isn't one of them. Some guys are the rest of my bfs were like that l always thought all guys were pigs all they do is use girls and leave. Now l relized since l met this boyfriend he isn't any of them. Just a nice guy who does like his sex but doesn't want it all the time. There is nice guys out there but there hard to find just seprate your life for a while with out guys spend time with girls. Have a girls night out once a week maybe that might help

 

[gnine]

But i Just HATE them so much, letting them touch me or hug me feels like self harm because I just want to vomit!

Its good that you recognise that this will be a pretty serious problem for you going forward with your life.

Hey, I'm not a professional at these things, but I married a beautiful Christian woman who also felt this way about men in the past... although there has been challenges, we have by and large been very happily married for over 7 years now and been blessed with a gorgeous son. In fact, I'm pretty sure that one of the pillars of the strength of our relationship is actually the abuse that she suffered at the hands of her father and brother as a teen.

Why am I saying this? If you want to change, God can make things work out for you; and he can also turn evil beginnings into a flower of great good in your life and others.

Get help. Stay safe.

 

[Lehr]

SpoiltBrat, Trust me i know there are alot of jerks out there. I have seen so many nice girls hook up with these kind of guys and they just end up getting hurt in some way.. Spoilt please remember that every guy is different, For me i try to be more like christ and do what i think is right... I don't drink because i had an abusive alcholic father, and i don't smoke becuase it is killing my mom. I am still a virgin and proud of it, i have goals in my life and i intend to keep them..

Jesus is pure good and is without sin, and i pray that god will give you strength and love..

GOD BLESS YOU!!!

 

[Solaris]

I find it so hard, I have had male friends in the past and boyfriends, and some drunken one night stands when I was in a bad place,
But i Just HATE them so much, letting them touch me or hug me feels like self harm because I just want to vomit!

I get close to totally opening up to male friends but they usually prove they can't be trusted,
Boyfriends are never serious, i just like to mess them about before they mess me up
i even hate praying sometimes because its "Father" and "he" is Lord how can anyone trust their father its so alien to me!

and that makes me feel guilty


Jeez....a self-harming, depressed man hating psycho...don't really have much going for me do i ?

Oh well a little vent there

I tend to go gender neutral when I pray. After all God is an It not a he or she. If I were talking to you, you would want me to call you by your name. I like to address God by the Name it gave Moses, YHVH, or i sometimes use "Divine Presence."

 

[FallingWaters]

...But i Just HATE them so much, ...
i even hate praying sometimes because its "Father" and "he" is Lord how can anyone trust their father its so alien to me!

and that makes me feel guilty

Jeez....a self-harming, depressed man hating psycho...don't really have much going for me do i ?

Oh well a little vent there

I used to hate men, too.
Only the work of God in your heart can lead you to the place where you can grieve what you have lost, forgive all who have hurt you, and be set free from the torment of hate, bitterness, anger and resentment.

Do you love Jesus?
Do you appreciate His suffering on the Cross?
Is He not the very expression of Unconditional Love?
He is a man.
Yet He was good.
Not only good, but perfect.


I hope and pray that God would speak to your heart and reveal Himself to you in a very special way so that you could experience His wonderful Love.
I pray He would fill your heart with Love to overflowing
and that He would heal all your wounds as you cling to Him.