Mama's Boy

[wolfiswill]

My sister needs some advice. She is engaged and getting married in 2 months. Here is the problem. Her fiance's mom was recently dumped by her "boyfriend" and ever since then her fiance has been an extreme mom's boy. Everytime my sister trys to get him to go somewhere with her, he always asks his mom to go also and she tags along. This is causeing a problem in their relationship, because there is hardly any time for them to be alone anymore because his mother is always in the picture. He has always been "close" to his mom but never like this. How does she break the news across that she needs to spend some time alone with him? without his mom being there? without making it sound as if she is jealous of the time he spends with his mom? Another issue is that whenever they get into an argument or have a disagreement he runs to his mom and tells her everything. How does my sister set boundaries before this becomes a bigger issue and especially since they are getting married in a few months?

 

[Cherub8]

Yikes...
I think it's wonderful when parents are in the picture to some extent. If they're walking right with the Lord, their relationship advice is beneficial. However, I think this is an example of it going way too far.

Here's my thought: If he needs to tell mommy everything, then he's not ready to get married. This may actually be a serious emotional (or mental) issue. In my opinion, the wedding needs to be put on hold for a long time.

 

[wolfiswill]

Anyone ever deal with this issue? She really needs some wisdom.

 

[Cherub8]

My cousin is the same way. He's had a few girlfriends in the past, but they never last long, and he still can't figure out why that is. I think the only way he will be married is when a girl loves him enough to say enough is enough. In my opinion, your sister really should talk to her boyfriend about this issue. If she does not, the marriage will be nothing short of miserable. How could he possibly lead her and his family when mommy is still the boss? That's my two cents. Or, what the heck, let's make that a dime!

 

[wolfiswill]

A dime works

 

[Singin4Him]

The sad thing is your sister should have to say a thing to her future husband, he should want to spend time alone with the woman he's going to marry. She needs to tell him how she feels now before it gets worse. She doesn't need to worry about what his mother will think because she being his wife to be should come first because in marriage that should be the way it is. If he can't do that now then she may want to re-think marriage with him. There is nothing worse than marrying someone in hopes they change something that will effect their marriage negativly in a great way. If he doesn't believe there is anything wrong with being so clingy to his mother then I would advise her to put off marriage and go to some counseling together for a while and see if things change.

My parents as well as my husband's parents were involved and still are involved in our lives in a healthy way and I think it's wonderful to have them there HOWEVER if either he or I were to start putting our parents above each other that could be an unhealthy situation that could seriously harm our marriage. Does that make sense? Bottom line, biblically his future wife/wife should come second as God should come first and everyone and everything else follows that.