Well i got this article in my email and i thought the main idea is true.
I just came up with the title.
==========================
In recent days, a major critique of the message has been offered by
Camerin Courtney and posted at ChristianityToday.com. In her article,
"Is Singleness a Sin?" Ms. Courtney decided to respectfully let me have
it. She suggested that I had offered "gross overgeneralizations" about
single people, and she argued that most Christian singles "aren't
delaying marriage due to selfish motives."
Ms. Courtney went on to say that most singles she knows "earnestly
desire to be married, are surprised and/or frustrated that they aren't
yet, and are prayerfully trying to figure out how to get from here to
there."
Most specifically, Ms. Courtney was offended by my suggestion that,
except for those given the gift of celibacy, marriage is the God-given
context for the achievement of maturity in adulthood. Many others have
responded to that argument as well.
In recent days, I have received a flood of e-mail messages and other
contacts, mostly driven by Ms. Courtney's article. Most have been very
clear about their outrage, but also very thoughtful in suggesting
exactly where they felt I had gone wrong. Interestingly, every single
response to Ms. Courtney's article I have yet received has been written
by a woman.
In reflecting on these messages and the points these very articulate and
thoughtful women have raised, I am led to wonder if parts of the total
message may have been edited or missing from the version they read or
heard. But even if all the arguments were present, I wonder if some of
them may have been missed or minimized.
Re-examine Biblical Teachings
In any event, the ensuing controversy affords all of us a good
opportunity to look again at the biblical teachings concerning marriage
and commit ourselves to accountability before God for the totality of
our lives. Some of my respondents clearly missed the point concerning
celibacy. But others still want to argue that intentional
singleness--apparently without respect to celibacy--can be an acceptable
lifestyle option for believers. I stand unmoved, even more convinced
that the argument I made at the New Attitude Conference is precisely
correct.
Singleness is not a sin, but deliberate singleness on the part of those
who know they have not been given the gift of celibacy is, at best, a
neglect of a Christian responsibility. The problem may be simple sloth,
personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority
given to work and profession. On the part of men, it may also take the
shape of a refusal to grow up and take the lead in courtship. There are
countless Christian women who are prayerfully waiting for Christian men
to grow up and take the lead. What are these guys waiting for?
The delay of marriage has caused any number of ills in the larger
society, and in the church. Honesty compels us to admit that this is
indeed tied to levels of sexual promiscuity and frustration, even as it
means that many persons are now marrying well into their adult years,
missing the opportunity of growing together as a young couple, and
putting parenthood potentially at risk.
Almost all of the women who have written me in response to this article
have indicated their grief and frustration that they are not yet
married. Not one has indicated in her message that she has intended from
the beginning to be single and to remain single. To the contrary, each
writer has affirmed her own commitment to marriage and to be married,
and each has spoken of her personal frustration that her hopes have not
been yet fulfilled.
Addressed to Men
Given this commitment and hope as articulated by these thoughtful young
women, it should be clear that when I spoke of a pattern of sin in the
delay of marriage, I was certainly not attributing that sin to them. To
the contrary, as one who believes wholeheartedly in the biblical pattern
of complementarity and in the male responsibility to lead, I charge
young men with far greater responsibility for this failure.
The extension of a "boy culture" into the twenties and thirties, along
with a sense of uncertainty about the true nature of male leadership has
led many young men to focus on career, friends, sports, and any number
of other satisfactions when they should be preparing themselves for
marriage and taking responsibility to grow up, be the man, and show
God's glory as husband and father.
I am not calling for high school students to marry, and I am certainly
not suggesting that believers of any age should marry thoughtlessly,
carelessly, and without sound spiritual judgment. But I am most
emphatically arguing that this delay of marriage now presents the church
with a critical test: We will either recover a full and comprehensive
biblical vision of marriage in all of its glory, or we will soon find
believers so accommodated to the culture around us that all we seek in
our marriages is to do marginally better than what we see in the world.
Sensitivity Needed
Sensitivity demands that we understand the grief, frustration, and
concern of Christian young adults struggling with this issue. They are
the inheritors of a culture that has minimized marriage and has sent
mixed messages concerning sex, gender, marriage, and all the rest. The
full biblical vision of marriage was not, in the main, held before them
from their earliest years at home, and was not encouraged and enriched
as they grew through adolescence into adulthood. Many of
them--especially many young women--feel victimized by this pattern, and
they are frustrated by the reality.
Now is the time for the church to take this conversation to the next
level. This generation of Christian young adults has the opportunity to
seize the moment, reverse cultural trends, and show their elders the
glory of marriage as God intended it from the beginning.
I stand by my argument--renewed in this conviction even by the
controversy that has followed. At the same time, I'm going to be a good
bit more careful to make clear that young men must accept most of the
blame for this situation. I will also remind these young men that, armed
with a biblical mandate and fueled by Christian passion, they can also
be the vanguard for recovery.
So, thanks to Camerin Courtney for her article, and to all those who
have followed with responses. Let's keep this conversation going, and
encourage each other to pursue God's glory in every dimension of our
lives--and to settle for nothing less.
>> R. Albert Mohler, Jr. is president of The Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. For more articles and
resources by Dr. Mohler, and for information on The Albert Mohler
Program, a daily national radio program broadcast on the Salem Radio
Network, go to www.albertmohler.com. For information on The Southern
Baptist Theological Seminary, go to www.sbts.edu. Send feedback to
mail@albertmohler.com.
I just came up with the title.
==========================
In recent days, a major critique of the message has been offered by
Camerin Courtney and posted at ChristianityToday.com. In her article,
"Is Singleness a Sin?" Ms. Courtney decided to respectfully let me have
it. She suggested that I had offered "gross overgeneralizations" about
single people, and she argued that most Christian singles "aren't
delaying marriage due to selfish motives."
Ms. Courtney went on to say that most singles she knows "earnestly
desire to be married, are surprised and/or frustrated that they aren't
yet, and are prayerfully trying to figure out how to get from here to
there."
Most specifically, Ms. Courtney was offended by my suggestion that,
except for those given the gift of celibacy, marriage is the God-given
context for the achievement of maturity in adulthood. Many others have
responded to that argument as well.
In recent days, I have received a flood of e-mail messages and other
contacts, mostly driven by Ms. Courtney's article. Most have been very
clear about their outrage, but also very thoughtful in suggesting
exactly where they felt I had gone wrong. Interestingly, every single
response to Ms. Courtney's article I have yet received has been written
by a woman.
In reflecting on these messages and the points these very articulate and
thoughtful women have raised, I am led to wonder if parts of the total
message may have been edited or missing from the version they read or
heard. But even if all the arguments were present, I wonder if some of
them may have been missed or minimized.
Re-examine Biblical Teachings
In any event, the ensuing controversy affords all of us a good
opportunity to look again at the biblical teachings concerning marriage
and commit ourselves to accountability before God for the totality of
our lives. Some of my respondents clearly missed the point concerning
celibacy. But others still want to argue that intentional
singleness--apparently without respect to celibacy--can be an acceptable
lifestyle option for believers. I stand unmoved, even more convinced
that the argument I made at the New Attitude Conference is precisely
correct.
Singleness is not a sin, but deliberate singleness on the part of those
who know they have not been given the gift of celibacy is, at best, a
neglect of a Christian responsibility. The problem may be simple sloth,
personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority
given to work and profession. On the part of men, it may also take the
shape of a refusal to grow up and take the lead in courtship. There are
countless Christian women who are prayerfully waiting for Christian men
to grow up and take the lead. What are these guys waiting for?
The delay of marriage has caused any number of ills in the larger
society, and in the church. Honesty compels us to admit that this is
indeed tied to levels of sexual promiscuity and frustration, even as it
means that many persons are now marrying well into their adult years,
missing the opportunity of growing together as a young couple, and
putting parenthood potentially at risk.
Almost all of the women who have written me in response to this article
have indicated their grief and frustration that they are not yet
married. Not one has indicated in her message that she has intended from
the beginning to be single and to remain single. To the contrary, each
writer has affirmed her own commitment to marriage and to be married,
and each has spoken of her personal frustration that her hopes have not
been yet fulfilled.
Addressed to Men
Given this commitment and hope as articulated by these thoughtful young
women, it should be clear that when I spoke of a pattern of sin in the
delay of marriage, I was certainly not attributing that sin to them. To
the contrary, as one who believes wholeheartedly in the biblical pattern
of complementarity and in the male responsibility to lead, I charge
young men with far greater responsibility for this failure.
The extension of a "boy culture" into the twenties and thirties, along
with a sense of uncertainty about the true nature of male leadership has
led many young men to focus on career, friends, sports, and any number
of other satisfactions when they should be preparing themselves for
marriage and taking responsibility to grow up, be the man, and show
God's glory as husband and father.
I am not calling for high school students to marry, and I am certainly
not suggesting that believers of any age should marry thoughtlessly,
carelessly, and without sound spiritual judgment. But I am most
emphatically arguing that this delay of marriage now presents the church
with a critical test: We will either recover a full and comprehensive
biblical vision of marriage in all of its glory, or we will soon find
believers so accommodated to the culture around us that all we seek in
our marriages is to do marginally better than what we see in the world.
Sensitivity Needed
Sensitivity demands that we understand the grief, frustration, and
concern of Christian young adults struggling with this issue. They are
the inheritors of a culture that has minimized marriage and has sent
mixed messages concerning sex, gender, marriage, and all the rest. The
full biblical vision of marriage was not, in the main, held before them
from their earliest years at home, and was not encouraged and enriched
as they grew through adolescence into adulthood. Many of
them--especially many young women--feel victimized by this pattern, and
they are frustrated by the reality.
Now is the time for the church to take this conversation to the next
level. This generation of Christian young adults has the opportunity to
seize the moment, reverse cultural trends, and show their elders the
glory of marriage as God intended it from the beginning.
I stand by my argument--renewed in this conviction even by the
controversy that has followed. At the same time, I'm going to be a good
bit more careful to make clear that young men must accept most of the
blame for this situation. I will also remind these young men that, armed
with a biblical mandate and fueled by Christian passion, they can also
be the vanguard for recovery.
So, thanks to Camerin Courtney for her article, and to all those who
have followed with responses. Let's keep this conversation going, and
encourage each other to pursue God's glory in every dimension of our
lives--and to settle for nothing less.
>> R. Albert Mohler, Jr. is president of The Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. For more articles and
resources by Dr. Mohler, and for information on The Albert Mohler
Program, a daily national radio program broadcast on the Salem Radio
Network, go to www.albertmohler.com. For information on The Southern
Baptist Theological Seminary, go to www.sbts.edu. Send feedback to
mail@albertmohler.com.
