Malachi 2:16 -- "I hate divorce.."

[moreruthlessjezebel]

NIV - "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

NASV - "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

ESV - “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

The Message - "I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat.

NKJV - “ For the LORD God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the LORD of hosts.

“ Therefore take heed to your spirit,
That you do not deal treacherously.”


Marriage is a covenant relationship - greater than a contract, greater than most could understand before entering into it. The joining of two bodies before God, vowing that "until death" you would not part.

In general, Christians seem more against abortion and gay marriage, while divorce gets breezed over, it seems. Even we Christians get divorced - worse still is that our pastors do! The argument I hear the most about gay marriage from Christians is that it ruins the sanctity of marriage - can you say that while 50% of marriages in America end in divorce? But this isn't about marriage. It's about divorce.

Knowing that God's will is for us to not get divorced, when those hard times come in your relationship, what is the answer? Counseling? Repentance?

When it comes to divorce, when do you think it's 'okay'?
What steps would you take to prevent it?
What does your partner think about divorce?
Have you been divorced? A child of divorce?

This may seem like an odd topic for Courting Couples, but I honestly want to know what you all think as people who are in a pre-marriage relationship. Married folks can answer too.

 

[Melethiel]

I think the only acceptable reasons for divorce are infidelity and abuse (which is a type of infidelity in itself).

 

[Bootstrap]

I think the only acceptable reasons for divorce are infidelity and abuse (which is a type of infidelity in itself).

I would add abandonment - if your spouse abandons you.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

There's too many 'survivors' and 'victims' who won't even entertain the idea that their decision to divorce was wrong. I'm not saying that there aren't legit reasons for it (infidelity, abuse, which are very legit reasons), I'm just saying, a large chunk of those who had a 'no fault' or 'irreconcileable differences' divorce, still have that victim mentality or that 'survivor' thing going on.

 

[Fire for God]

I'm quite interested in this topic.

What is abuse? I think to me, the most obvious form of abuse that warrants a separation would be physical abuse. If you husband (or wife?!) comes back home and throws chairs at you, beats you up with sticks, whacks you violently and injures you, that is definitely good grounds for separation.

What if, however, the abuse is more subtle? Your husband may be constantly calling you useless and worthless, making fun of you in an unhealthy, demeaning way. He may be neglecting you. He may not be showing attention to you as you think he should. He may not be showing his love to you.

Or perhaps, your wife might be constantly questioning your authority as a husband. She might always think that you are incapable in handling household issues, handling the children, or handling your job. She might speak out in irritation, and attempt to subvert your authority, by taking the reigns when she should be submitting to you.

Now clearly, both are wrong. The bible says that the husband should love his wife, and that the wife should submit to her husband.

This problem is prevalent among families. But are they grounds for separation? To what extent does a husband's or wife's mistake become an abuse towards the other partner, abuse that warrants separation?

I am quite inclined to think that one problem that both the husband and wife suffers from if such symptoms are persistently prevalent, is the lack of communication. They don't talk to each other. They accuse, they shout, they scold, they berate. They don't talk. This would not solve the problem, but instead cement into each other the mindset that 'Yes, my husband doesn't love me' or 'Yes, my wife doesn't respect me'. Both statements might be true to some degrees and in some situations, but dwelling on something like that will not make you love your wife more, or submit to your husband more.

How does talking prevent more divorces? When the husband and wife communicate, and tell each other about how they like each other, how they like something about the other person, and how the other person has the potential to do something or be someone worthwhile, good, and noble, they build each other up, and not tear each other down. There is a time for mutual correction, but it should not be the norm. It is like when you are drawing a straight line, you do not constantly see if the line you're drawing is crooked. It'll make your line more crooked. Instead, you abide by the ruler. The ruler in this case, is loving your wife, and respecting your husband. I know it's a silly analogy, but the point is that you can't help another person to correct his or her fault if the person doesn't trust you enough.

It seems that if couples really communicate more to each other (this includes repenting to each other when you have hurt your partner), then divorce would not happen so much. Most divorce (if it does happen) would then only be due to real, physical abuse.

This is just my idea on divorce, its prevalence, and what could possibly be done to prevent a marriage from sliding downhill. I'd like to hear what you guys actually think about it.