making time for my girlfriend

[lutherangerman]

Hi there, for some months now I have a girlfriend and we want to marry. I love her and like her, and she loves me very much too.

Before I met her I was a single for many years and I guess I became a bit odd and got used to spending most of my time alone with my hobbies.

Now I must confess that though I love my girlfriend I sometimes wish she wouldn't want to chat so much. But I feel compelled to accept this because husbands have to love their wives.

Is there a way I can tell my girlfriend in love that too much chatting isn't so good for me? Sometimes she comes chatting every second hour during the day and when I don't feel like talking she either gets sad or upset, or she starts thinking I loose interest in her.

The thing is that I have schizophrenia and I need to loose myself in activities in order to feel good. So I play complex and deep computer games, watch comedies and thrillers, read books. But when my girlfriend always wants to chat I cannot dive into these activites as much as I would like and always feel interrupted.

In the last time I've grit my teeth and went through it but now I would like to ask if maybe it would be ok if I told my girlfriend that it's better we limit our chats. I know we have a need for these chats and I do want to talk to her a lot, but honestly I would prefer we would chat for a long time once per day and not every 2 or 3 hours.

Am I wrong in asking for this? If you think it's justified, how would you go about asking for this?

 

[whitebeaches]

its gonna be hard for her to understandwhy but i think a good start would be to write this down show her and discuss this with her.Then she may be able to understand your needs and im sure you can work something out so her needs are met to. praying for you both.

 

[dayhiker]

I agree .. show her your need to be doing your hobbies and shy. Say you know she needs to chat. Her need is as important to her as yours and is probably part of her need to feel close to the one she loves. So if both of you are trying to help each other then something should be able to be worked out.

 

[Tiberius]

You just need to let her know that as much as you enjoy spending time with her, you also need time for yourself, to do things by yourself. Tell her what you are doing, so she doesn't have reason to think you are doing anything dishonest, but it's perfectly reasonable for you to expect her to give you some yourself-time.