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EyesOfKohl

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Ok..well next time someone does something stupid, maybe on Cf as i will test this out, i will maybe pick on za'atar and make fun of him as hes the one that can laugh at himself.

If you can laugh and joke about yourself, then it's going to be difficult for others to make fun of you xD

On a side note, I thought it was funny out of everyone on CF to pick up you named me who is probably the only one who could turn up at your real doorstep anytime unexpectedly
 
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Goodbook

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No actually im very good at banter. But theres banter and then theres just cruelty. Some people cross the punchline and use humour as a way to hurt the people they mock.

Its never good to say something cruel and then backpedal and say i was only joking cant you take a joke. Because thats just makes you a horrible person who doesnt know the right thing to say and your words are worthless.
 
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Goodbook

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Jesus never crushed or broke a brusied reed.
I think we ought to be christlike in our words. And tame our tongues.

People who just say oh thats the way everyone else talks dont have a sensitive bone in their body. I notice that everyone has something that they dont want to be made fun of.

Especially children. It really can scar them for life those formative years when they really need to hear that someone loves them and blesses them.
 
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Goodbook

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I once was mocked by this kid who didnt like that i looked smarter than him ie. I wore glasses.
He was also being racist and calling me and my cousins names.

I dont think its cos he cared.
Anyway i just told him his pants were dirty, and its true, they were.

He shut up after that.
 
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MehGuy

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Well since it's still politically correct to make fun of most of my faults, yet I feel the need to employ sadism myself to keep my head above water. You're never going to have peace if equality isn't applied evenly.
 
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blackribbon

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Cruelty is never okay... but cruelty and sarcasm are not synonyms. And we don't know if Jesus ever used sarcasm because only a handful of his words are recorded and we only read the translation of those. He talked like a real person, not in formal King James language. I can't imagine him never teasing someone nor without a bit of sarcastic wit. I also can't imagine him doing it cruelly.... it would be more like the "got your nose" game with a small child who ends up giggling.
 
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Goodbook

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I think kids get that from their parents to say mean things about other people. To a certain extent. Or older siblings.

I just would like it to stop as I know some ppl who take it to heart and actually killed themselves over someones cruel words. And they were adults..so these things dont stop once you are older. I dont think it should take someone to die for bullying to stop.

If we are christians we wouldnt be saying unkind things about other people or mocking them..James letter talks about this. Not saying ppl do it on here (the singles forum) but I notice elsewhere that some ppl make very cutting comments that seem totally uncalled for just for the sake of it..and I wonder if they are just unbeleivers trolling on a christian forum.
 
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Goodbook

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Found something esp in ephesians 5:4 as was reading about inheritance.

I think like it says we walk in love, so, no foolish talk or jesting, or evil speaking, and all malice it says put that away from you.

I think if you used to mocking ppl all the time or being sarcastic you need to repent of this as it just shows that inside there may be bitterness. If you cannot speak kind and encouraging words to lift someone up, not put them down then its something that needs to be addressed within yourself.

I know ppl try to justify it by saying oh when im being cruel im being kind, but really, why not just be kind without being cruel?
 
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miss-a

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I think the bottom line is this. Humor is good, in fact great, in it's pure form. Meaness is bad, in any form. So how to not marry the two? I think we need to keep our hearts in check and be aware of the people around us. The Bible is clear that our tongues can speak life or death. In any given situation, funny or not, that's what we need to be considering. Are we speaking life or death. The more we keep our focus on Jesus, the more our hearts grow to be like His. Then we are less likely to ever speak death. Until then, if we find we've said something that might have hurt someone, then we need to go back to them, check in with them, and make sure they understand not only that we did not mean to harm them and that we hold them in high regard. We go back and we fix it.

Example: I'm a nutritional counselor. One day I made some whole foods organic peanut butter bars for my friend's husband as a thank you for him helping with some heavy work at my house. They were for him only because the wife is not supposed to eat peanutbutter of sweets. I was riding to Bible study with his wife and a friend, so I gave the wife the bars to give to the husband when she got home. Then I went back into the house to get something else and when I returned both ladies were munching on the bars. Throughout the course of the night we I jibed them about stealing Stu's bars and hurting their health, and they jibed me calling me a nutritional legalist. I wasn't at all offended, because I know they were kidding and I am confident about where I stand nutritionally. But when I got thinking later, I realized food is a sensitive issue for many people and I might have unintentionally come off as shaming, which I never intended to do. So I called each of them and just told them that I'd been thinking and wondered if I'd come off as shaming and if I did I never intended that and I was so sorry. Each of them responded that the evening was fun and full of laughter and they had never given it another thought.

While this was a relief to me, I'm still glad I went back to them, checked in and made sure I hadn't caused harm. If it had been with another individual, the jibing might have caused harm. You never know what someone else has been through. Just because you have a thick skin doesn't mean someone else does. Additionally, the enemy can take advantage of our words. Even though those ladies had not felt any shame from my jibing at the time I called them, the enemy could have snuck in at any time and started shaming them about their lack of self control and used my words to do it. By having checked in with them and explained, it made my words much less likely ammuntion for the enemy.

Again, humor is great. There is nothing about it that's unholy, unless we make it so. The closer our hearts are to Jesus the less likely something is to slip out.

As for making fun of animals who are hurt. That's a huge red flag. Those folks need counseling, and I'm not joking.

And finally regarding political humor during this election year. Andy Stanley is going to be doing a series on that very topic, how to stay who we are in Christ during an election year. I think it starts this Sunday: http://northpoint.org/ and they keep it online after the live services, because the reality is we don't have to like the candidates, but we are called to love them, and there's nothing loving about hateful jokes.

Love you!
A
 
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Goodbook

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Thats interesting about the thick skin theory..I mean senstive people literally have thinner skin. I dont think it grows any thicker. BUT..that is why we are supposed to put on the armour of God.

And it is true that the power of life and death are in the tongue and often we need to bridle it.
You could unwittingly do a lot of damage if you say something that is hurtful. It might not hurt YOU but not everyone is exactly like you, we are all different people.
 
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Faithfulandtrue

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I understand what you mean. I hate when people use sarcasm to tease me. I expect the same respect I show others and it hurts when I purposely avoid saying things that might hurt someone's feelings and then they don't care if what they say might hurt mine.
 
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Goodbook

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People with thicker skin sort of go through life by letting most hurtful comments slide.
Think of this way, Jesus was flogged 40 times. Its not something that anybody can really endure, but he did that for us. By his stripes we are healed, so, if anyone says something hurtful to you just think of what they did to Jesus.
 
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