Lust vs Attraction

[callmeMurph]

How can we know the difference between lust and being attracted to someone?

Is having a "crush" on someone lust?

 

[kevlite2020]

Here's an easy test.

"I think that is a pretty girl." - Attraction.

"I think that's a pretty girl and I want to see her _____."
or
"I think that's a pretty girl and I want to do ____ to her." - Lust.

It's obviously more complex then that, and also remember it is a heart issue, it doesn't matter what you say or act on, it matters what the condition your heart is. But if in your heart you are thinking about what you want to see or do to a girl, that's dangerous territory.

 

[Allen1901]

You are lusting when your thoughts become sexual.

God bless!

 

[MacFall]

Here's an easy test.

"I think that is a pretty girl." - Attraction.

"I think that's a pretty girl and I want to see her _____."
or
"I think that's a pretty girl and I want to do ____ to her." - Lust.

I dunno about that. Acknowledging that you find a girl sexually attractive is still just attraction. Lust comes after you start fantasizing about her or undressing her with your mind, or actually develop sexual intentions. Lust is the entertainment of a desire for something you shouldn't have, not the mere temptation itself. Jesus was "tempted in every way", which would include sexual temptation, but he did not sin.

 

[kevlite2020]

I dunno about that. Acknowledging that you find a girl sexually attractive is still just attraction. Lust comes after you start fantasizing about her or undressing her with your mind, or actually develop sexual intentions. Lust is the entertainment of a desire for something you shouldn't have, not the mere temptation itself. Jesus was "tempted in every way", which would include sexual temptation, but he did not sin.

That's what I said in that "test." Not sure if you are reading it different then how I meant it to sound, but when you look at a girl and think about her beaty, that isn't falling into lust, but if you begin to think about sexual activities you want to do with her, or imagine parts of her body that are or aren't exposed for sexual pleasure/thought, that's when the line is crossed. Does that make sense?

 

[Inkachu]

Attraction - Wow, that person looks really nice. So, what's for lunch?

Lust - WHOA, look at the (insert body part) on that person! Too bad they have clothes on. I could hit me some o' that.

 

[Inkachu]

Here's an easy test.

"I think that is a pretty girl." - Attraction.

"I think that's a pretty girl and I want to see her _____."
or
"I think that's a pretty girl and I want to do ____ to her." - Lust.

It's obviously more complex then that, and also remember it is a heart issue, it doesn't matter what you say or act on, it matters what the condition your heart is. But if in your heart you are thinking about what you want to see or do to a girl, that's dangerous territory.

You are lusting when your thoughts become sexual.

God bless!

These.

 

[Inkachu]

If you wouldn't want some guy thinking it about your daughter, it's probably inappropriate.

 

[MacFall]

if you begin to think about sexual activities you want to do with her, or imagine parts of her body that are or aren't exposed for sexual pleasure/thought, that's when the line is crossed. Does that make sense?

Yes, but simply wanting to see those parts or do those things is not lust, that's the point I was trying to make. Lust is sin, and one does not sin in being tempted; only by acting on that temptation, or at least making plans to act on it.

Even so if one is tempted to lust by another person, one should probably not pursue the other until or unless that issue is taken care of.

 

[JESUS<3sYOU]

Is having a "crush" on someone lust?

Not necessarily, but I think that they are quite closely related in the subtle order of emotions. Lust is also ambiguous in meaning, so crushes may well pass as lust when that is taken into account. I presume that proper words for having a crush should be desiring, craving, coveting, having appetite for, and - why not? - lusting.

 

[kingoffools13]

How can we know the difference between lust and being attracted to someone?

Is having a "crush" on someone lust?

Attraction is finding aspects of another person that draw you in and make you appreciate in some way or another.

Lust is a specific type of attraction that you dwell on. Namely sexual attraction, but it takes more than just the sexual attraction that you are born with, you must then dwell on and think about it via fantasy etc. Then it is lust. Up until then it is just temptation and a natural reaction.

a crush can be many things so there is no definite answer but if you just like someone? then no its not lust.


K
O
f

 

[Stravinsk]

This has stuck with me for a long time. Many many years ago I read a book in the library that went throught the 7 deadly sins. I think that was the title of the book, but I don't remember the author.

Lust is not mere sexual attraction. To simplify it like that is to make a husband and wife ashamed of their desire for one another sexually.

The purist, most evil form of lust is:

That which seeks it's own sexual gratification at the expense of another, without consideration of another. It is selfish above all, and is not tempered by love, consideration, empathy or the desire to please.

Even in a marriage, a man (or woman) can express lust.

Another form of lust (less evil than the first, but still evil) is:

When one or another person is seeking to gratify their sexual desires, even by mutual consent, but otherwise do not want a relationship with that person. A man seeing a prostitute would be an example. A one night stand would be another. The point where it is lust is that the other person is seen largely as a means to an end - that end being sexual gratification. A relationship with that person is not seen as important or is given a huge back seat, if at all.

Within a marriage (formal or defacto), where there is:

A relationship outside of sex
A desire to please each other sexually and otherwise
Empathy
Monogomy
Commitment
Vulnerability
Good will

...and generally those things that go into what we call "love" - I do not believe that sexual desire within that context can be called "lust".

 

[Rhye]

...and generally those things that go into what we call "love" - I do not believe that sexual desire within that context can be called "lust".

This!

 

[Edwards1984]

How can we know the difference between lust and being attracted to someone?

Is having a "crush" on someone lust?

Fulton Sheen once said, addressing young women, "Don't think a boy loves all of you because he loves a part of you." Likewise, if I loved a woman for a part of her body or something she did, that's lust. If I loved a woman for all that she was, and she just happened, at the same time, to have a particularly appealing body part or talent, then that would be innocent attraction. Sometimes people on the outside are unable to distinguish that, and as such get judgmental.

 

[callmeMurph]

Thanks for all the responses. I guess I'm still kinda confused though.

I'm not having sexual thoughts about her. I'm just thinking about how I feel like we have things in common and how I'd like to get to know her better. Although I do feel like I might be thinking about it too much. Is that coveting? Or possibly idolatry? It doesn't feel healthy but at the same time is it wrong to dream about getting married some day and thinking about who that might possibly be?

 

[Trashionista]

Lust - All about sex. It's purely about whatever that person can give me, rather than 'growing' in a relationship with that person.

Attraction - I want to know the person. Who they are, what they like. I care about impressing them.

If I'm lusting over them, I just want them to tell me how fabulous I am. Lust is far more selfish, and more about my own needs and desires. If it's attraction, it's deeper.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Interesting answers.

This is just my personal opinion, but I wouldn't call a fleeting sexual desire or thought "lust".

Lust of something is when it becomes more like an obsession. The thought of it or having it consumes you, consumes your time, gets in the way of things in life that are more important. Lust doesn't refer specifically to sexual thoughts or desires, thats just how society has more recently defined the word. The Bible talks about how the lust for money is the root of all evil. Thats because when people lust over money, they get too consumed with getting and staying rich. They become selfish and they neglect people who are less fortunate, family, and God. This is what will happen when you lust over ANYTHING. God doesn't want us to be so distracted from Him and His Word. Its not good for us.

If you find somebody physically attractive, its basically sexual. You may not be specifically thinking about sex and consciously it might not even be what you want, but sex is what subconsciously underlies physical attraction. It's not lust though. Lust of sex is consciously dwelling on sexual thoughts, playing out scenarios in your mind, undressing him/her with your eyes.

If we're talking about attraction to a personality, then yes, its being intrigued by him/her, wanting to learn more, wanting to be with them.

Thats how I see it at any rate.

 

[Johnnz]

Lust is a desire, which if opportunity arose, you would act on, even though that would be wrong. Lust requires real intent, merely attraction. And of course there are very real physical and emotional responses when we are attracted to someone. That's being a normal human. Morality arises from what may ensue as stated above.

John
NZ

 

[white dove]

How can we know the difference between lust and being attracted to someone?

Lust: "If only we could bump uglies..." or "I'm thinking of jumping your bones right now."

Attraction: "I like you." or "I like certain things about you... aaand I'll leave it at that or get to know you more." <-- as the eyes are focused on the face of said person, not the T and/or A

Is having a "crush" on someone lust?

Not unless you're focused on jumping their bones. But, as I'm thinking about it, crushes can kind of turn into idols in a sense.