low self-worth

[sh2st]

i've had very low selfesteem for most of my life, and now that i'm an adult nothing has changed.. curious if anyone else has had my problem and overcome it? how? i see myself as worthless and small..

 

[micbmac]

No, I can't honestly say i have low self esteem. Sometimes, I get "down". But that's normal I think. There is a forum here on CF for low self esteem. That might be better help for ya sweety. I'm sure you're a fabulous person and just haven't realized it yet. Really. God bless ya.

 

[GrannieAnnie]

There's nothing worse than feeling like nothing...but you know...I reckon a great way to feel good about yourself and to help others, is to try some volunteer work. Maybe in a charity shop, those places are always looking for helpers, and the people are friendly. You don't have to have any skills or do any really hard work, but you're mixing with new people, possibly make new friends, and you're helping the community, so you are doing something for yourself and for others......give it a try !!! Annie

 

[Blurrai]

I used to have amazingly low self esteem. Then I almost died, woke up, and it was like 'holy CRAP, I'm awesome and anyone who gets in my way is DEAD!'. And you know what? You are, too. So shut up, get up, and go forth and kick butt. You know you are awesome, God knows you are awesome, now get it through your head: You are cool, and sweet, and pretty brave to be able to talk about your self esteem in the open like this.

 

[sh2st]

jerk. dont make fun of my pain. you have no idea the kind of life i live! i cant just act like my disability and birth defect dont exist and that my husband doesnt reject me. so next time you think to tell someone to shutup and put up, dont!

 

[aniRB]

jerk. dont make fun of my pain. you have no idea the kind of life i live! i cant just act like my disability and birth defect dont exist and that my husband doesnt reject me. so next time you think to tell someone to shutup and put up, dont!

I think you misunderstood her message. It's a pep talk, not an insult.

 

[Bubbi]

jerk. dont make fun of my pain. you have no idea the kind of life i live! i cant just act like my disability and birth defect dont exist and that my husband doesnt reject me. so next time you think to tell someone to shutup and put up, dont!

She was not making fun of your pain! Low self esteem is a bad place to be and even harder to get out of because after a while it becomes what we know and we end up afraid to move away from it.

However, as a Christian, God says this "You and wonderfully and fearfuly made" In other words God does not make junk!

Even with a disability (I too am disabled) but God blessed me by reminding me he has a plan for my life and he has one for yours--our job? Is to allow God to use us.

The trap of low self esteem is a lie straight from the devil to keep you down and self-focused.
The way out--is JESUS--look up and except the love he wants to give. Jesus doesnt leave and he never moves--usually we move away.

He is there right now--ready--able and wanting oh so much to heal you of this. I pray you will take his hand and allow him to lead you.
God Bless
Bubbi

 

[Blurrai]

jerk. dont make fun of my pain. you have no idea the kind of life i live! i cant just act like my disability and birth defect dont exist and that my husband doesnt reject me. so next time you think to tell someone to shutup and put up, dont!

You're right, I'm sorry. Clearly, trying to encourage you is TOTALLY making fun of you. Really. Ignore the positive attitude I beamed at you. *rolls eyes* Now I know what my mom meant when she said "some people want pity, not help".

You know what? I take it all back. All compliments and good intentions are hereby retracted. I take back all my hopes for you having a bright future, too.

Happy now?

 

[JPPT1974]

I know because as a kid I used
To have low self-worth and self-esteem
You aren't the first nor will you be the last to
Experience it.

 

[Romanseight2005]

You're right, I'm sorry. Clearly, trying to encourage you is TOTALLY making fun of you. Really. Ignore the positive attitude I beamed at you. *rolls eyes* Now I know what my mom meant when she said "some people want pity, not help".

You know what? I take it all back. All compliments and good intentions are hereby retracted. I take back all my hopes for you having a bright future, too.

Happy now?

I know this is hard for you to understand, it was for me too. The thing is, when people are really depressed, it's like they are in a really deep pit, and they honestly don't know how to get up and think they are awesome. You see those are things that we can chose to do, when we see that we can do it. For someone in depression, it is like they are being held hostage, or chained up. So, imagine if you were in a jail cell, and someone said, hey, don't just stand there, you are awesome, get yourself out of there. It would seem like an insult to them because they are locked up. How can they get out? Anyway, I am sorry that your good intentions weren't received as you meant them, but please do try to understand that what she is feeling can't just be fixed by telling her to do something she doesn't know how to do.

 

[Romanseight2005]

i've had very low selfesteem for most of my life, and now that i'm an adult nothing has changed.. curious if anyone else has had my problem and overcome it? how? i see myself as worthless and small..

Not I , but my husband suffers from this, and it really is all lies that he believes. He is the most awesome man on the planet, but he can't see that. I will be praying for you.

 

[Blurrai]

I know this is hard for you to understand, it was for me too. The thing is, when people are really depressed, it's like they are in a really deep pit, and they honestly don't know how to get up and think they are awesome. You see those are things that we can chose to do, when we see that we can do it. For someone in depression, it is like they are being held hostage, or chained up. So, imagine if you were in a jail cell, and someone said, hey, don't just stand there, you are awesome, get yourself out of there. It would seem like an insult to them because they are locked up. How can they get out? Anyway, I am sorry that your good intentions weren't received as you meant them, but please do try to understand that what she is feeling can't just be fixed by telling her to do something she doesn't know how to do.

I have tried to kill myself ten times and spent 4 years of my life cutting myself.
Do not even try to pretend you can talk to me about depression.
And I do understand what she's feeling. The difference being, I decided I wanted positive energy in my life, where as she is reveling in negative energy and pity, too attached to her negativity to admit someone else may have positive words for her; hence, her immediately accusation of being made fun of and lack of acceptance of positive energy. Some people want this crap in their lives (it gives them something to complain about). I'm betting she's one of them.
In any case, I've realized my mistakes. I tried to say she was a good person and now stand heavily corrected.

 

[Romanseight2005]

I have tried to kill myself ten times and spent 4 years of my life cutting myself.
Do not even try to pretend you can talk to me about depression.
And I do understand what she's feeling. The difference being, I decided I wanted positive energy in my life, where as she is reveling in negative energy and pity, too attached to her negativity to admit someone else may have positive words for her; hence, her immediately accusation of being made fun of and lack of acceptance of positive energy. Some people want this crap in their lives (it gives them something to complain about). I'm betting she's one of them.
In any case, I've realized my mistakes. I tried to say she was a good person and now stand heavily corrected.

Sorry, I was assuming that you were coming from a perspective that I, and many others have come from. I am really glad that you are doing better.

 

[JPPT1974]

I cut and hit myself a dozen times
As well as being hospitalized over black eyes twice
So I know how you feel
Though I am also seeking counseling and medication!

 

[sh2st]

you think i like being down all the time?? no, i hate it. its a point of argument with my husband. hes tired of me like this, which is why he is so distant with me, so he says. i just cant seem to find anything that makes me happy anymore. dont know why.

 

[sahjacq]

Have you been and received any medical advice for feeling so lo, there is so many options out there but you do have to be brave and make the first step and you have because you have opened your heart to the lord and to us, I have suffered with depression for 15 years now and it is a fight, but I know what triggers and my emotions, so I do not put myself into conflicting situations, the hard lesson I have learnt is no one is going to make this better for you, only you can help your self by seeking help from people who do care, I know it is hard but be brave and speak to someone on a
speacialist level and seek some help, will be worth it.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Yes! I was thinking that too. It really might be chemical. No matter what you are feeling, try to hold on to the truth that God loves you, and you don't have to do anything to earn that love. That may sound simplistic but it's the truth.

 

[mekkin]

I don't necessarily suffer from low self-esteem but I have trouble with depression. I find the best way to cope with depression is being physically active and getting out and doing things. The more I sit around home, the more I dwell on things and start to feel miserable.

Hugs, love, and prayers your way-

Meg

 

[sh2st]

yes, depression is a prob as well. i know its wrong, but i hate my life. its always been like this. being ignored, the rejection, loneliness. i'm an unwanted outcast. and now with my hubby treating me this way, its worse.

 

[goldenviolet]

BLESSINGS! i'm dee. a recovery moderator. *brings in plate of snacks *...
ladies my heart was bursting as i read through this thread. did you realize that everyone got sidetracked when misunderstood? instead of support and building skills; the chat got hurtful and harsh. let's start over. us ladies who are builders; show some of your spiritual blessings. what kind of ideas do we have to build our sister's self image? those of us who are confident; what kind of wisdom can you impart to edify? those of you who are scriptural; what scriptures are on your heart? those of you who wanna pray; !! those who can relate; soothe away. those who are also sensitive and unsure; come join us while we work through these issues.

sisters, it is so difficult for our ladies to connect with others when they have hurts on their hearts. alot of self image comes from hurts. and lack of building skills taught. alot of our generations "teach" women to be "perfect"... we all interpret this different; but we all have a habit of comparing ourselves both physically and mentally to other ladies. it's breed into us by just how life is. as christians, as gentle souls, as sisters; we need to teach ourselves and eachother to un-learn this, and rebuild self observation and esteem.

i really would like to share my knowledge with you. since i have eight daughters ... and this keeps growing... i've learned to understand different personalities and my spiritual gifts and love, just long to be a resource in helping you build a strong tower.

xo ~ love dee