Love Burns...

[JourneyRain]

In the past few days, I learned that love burns. But its the most important thing a human can actually do: love another person irregardless of the cost. The problem is that sometimes love is not returned whether it be in a friendship relationship, church relationship or in a dating relationship.

Well my story is all about the first man I have ever loved--Marcell. He was also the first man that I ever had sex with. However, the problem is he doesn't love me, although he cares about me more then I think he even realizes. I don't know what to do. I probably shouldn't have been with him, and we took things to far. And i just fell way too fast but I think God will take care of that because "All things work together for the good" even the wrong things we do. before this guy, i had the potential or I did date some pretty bad men. I would always get out before its too late but I think this guy taught me how to notice the jerks a little bit quicker then i did before.

Anyway, I "hate" loving Marcell as much as I do when love can't happen. He isn't ready for a relationship because his ex-girlfriend let him love her while she was no longer loving him and pretty destroyed his belief that love exists. Maybe down the road he'll be ready to love again but will I be the one he will love? As of now, I wish. I'm so afraid that we'll never be in love. It hurts so bad. I have never cared for someone the way I do about him. He is on my mind all the time.

He once said to me that the worst thing is when you lose someone you love. This doesn't feel much better. The other problem is I just got accepted to graduate school which means I'm moving 12 hours away from everyone I know and dealing with a broken heart at the same time. How did I get through this without falling apart.

 

[JPPT1974]

In the past few days, I learned that love burns. But its the most important thing a human can actually do: love another person irregardless of the cost. The problem is that sometimes love is not returned whether it be in a friendship relationship, church relationship or in a dating relationship.

Well my story is all about the first man I have ever loved--Marcell. He was also the first man that I ever had sex with. However, the problem is he doesn't love me, although he cares about me more then I think he even realizes. I don't know what to do. I probably shouldn't have been with him, and we took things to far. And i just fell way too fast but I think God will take care of that because "All things work together for the good" even the wrong things we do. before this guy, i had the potential or I did date some pretty bad men. I would always get out before its too late but I think this guy taught me how to notice the jerks a little bit quicker then i did before.

Anyway, I "hate" loving Marcell as much as I do when love can't happen. He isn't ready for a relationship because his ex-girlfriend let him love her while she was no longer loving him and pretty destroyed his belief that love exists. Maybe down the road he'll be ready to love again but will I be the one he will love? As of now, I wish. I'm so afraid that we'll never be in love. It hurts so bad. I have never cared for someone the way I do about him. He is on my mind all the time.

He once said to me that the worst thing is when you lose someone you love. This doesn't feel much better. The other problem is I just got accepted to graduate school which means I'm moving 12 hours away from everyone I know and dealing with a broken heart at the same time. How did I get through this without falling apart.

God wants you to love even those you don't like and that like Jesus says forgive that person 77 times. It doesn't feel good if you lose that person yoiu love but also lean on the Lord for support and hopefully He will fix your broken heart and repair your heart according to His plan and will. You really don't need people like Marcill because he wouldn't just have sex with only you but with other people as well as he doesn't sound like a Christian to me even though I don't know the man. But also pray for him that he will get to the point to come to know Christ.

 

[Stanfi]

Praying for you JourneyRain. It's hurts, but all you can do is pray, and get your focus of attention onto God, and off of this relationship. In time you will heal, but during this time of healing you will learn alot about God, yourself, and relationships. Lessons that you will need later in life.

Whenver someone exists your life, there is a loss. Even though they are not gone from this earth, that are absent from your life, and with loss comes pain.

Also, just because someone stops loving you, doesn't mean that you stop loving them.

You also have to accpet that this person being taken out of your life may be a blessing. He may have caused you an entire lifetime of pain had he remained.

Those questions we may never have answers for this side of heaven.

Remember that God loves you, even though it may not feel like it right now, just hang in there. You've got a deep cut, and it's going to take time to heal.

 

[krstg]

Hi JourneyRain,

I said a prayer for you, too. God will be with you where ever you go (including 12 hours away from everyone you know) to help mend your broken heart.

When it comes to the topic of love, I know what it's like to have some hope in the future and also feel hopeless at the same time. I learned that these feelings can be overwhelming, so I sympathize with you. I'm also learning that as time goes by and I continue to live my life while trying to focus on other things besides that certain person, my burden is actually beginning to lift. I'm even starting to realize that, yes, the burden will go away altogether if I just let it. I know this is not unique to me (people say similar things have happened to them), and I know this can happen with you.

Also, don't forget to bring (or continue bringing) any of your concerns, feelings, frustrations and hopes to God and let him take care of them. Prayer, and just talking to God, is - how could I describe it? - therapeutic. If you have to, write your thoughts down as if you are writing to God. The love God has for you is greater than any love you can imagine. God wants you go to Him, and He wants to give you the best. Take care, k, and don't forget to enjoy yourself at grad school.


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

 

[JPPT1974]

Also meaning love is not just saying that you love someone by words. As your actions need to rhyme with your words if you know what I mean. Also that love is sacred as well as trusting and truthful. That love is also never taken lightly and taken very, very seriously. That love is also comes from the bottom of your heart as well as from your soul and mind. God bless and keep you my friends.

 

[seangoh]

I would always get out before its too late but I think this guy taught me how to notice the jerks a little bit quicker then i did before.

You are right. All things work together for good to those who love Him. You've learnt something from this experience and that is more knowledge on how to get away from "bad guys". That i believe is what God would want you do know too and perhaps it's one reason why God allowed this situation to happen.

Anyway, I "hate" loving Marcell as much as I do when love can't happen. He isn't ready for a relationship because his ex-girlfriend let him love her while she was no longer loving him and pretty destroyed his belief that love exists. Maybe down the road he'll be ready to love again but will I be the one he will love? As of now, I wish. I'm so afraid that we'll never be in love. It hurts so bad. I have never cared for someone the way I do about him. He is on my mind all the time.

I feel for you Journeyrain..i'm in almost the same situation as you. Sometimes it's difficult for 2 ppl who want to be together but can't. My only advice is that you'll stick to God and find out His will for you.

 

[JPPT1974]

Stick with the Lord and He will provide for you no matter what occurs.

 

[JourneyRain]

Thanks for all that prayed.

It's been almost 96 hours since I talked to Marcell last. If he wants to be friends, the ball is in his court. If he doesn't call me then I guess he wasn't who I thought was. I wish though I didn't think about him every day. I'm a songwriter and I have been getting some songs out of him though, so I guess that's a good thing. 10 years from now, I'll probably laugh at this situation but I'm not there yet.

I invited Marcell to church with me and he is "supposed" to come April 10 but we'll see if he keeps his promises to me. He hasn't failed me yet, so hopefully he'll keep this one.

Its still hard. Hes on my mind all the time and I'm tempted to call but I'm way over my cell phone minutes so I won't and if he cares about me. He needs to call because I am moving in a month.