Lots of Posts aabout "Falling" Into Sexual Sin

hikingchick77 · Jun 22, 2009

My take on all these posts about courtingcouples falling into sexual sin!

Stop hanging out at each others homes...go out to eat, play mini-golf, go hiking, take a road trip, go shopping, go to the movies, go to a coffee house, etc.

I don't understand why during courtship so many people stay in and don't go out...no wonder all this sexual sin happens. This is time to have fun and go out in public, your courting each other, and should not be seeing how far you can go with each other!

I'm in my 30's, and currently dating with the sole purpose of getting married again. I think us Christians should refuse to be in a situation where this can happen. It is only allowing the devil to get a foot hold!

sanderse · Jun 22, 2009

I don't think there is anything wrong with staying in... but people should know themselves and their limits before deciding to do this. Right now, I spend a lot of time alone with my BF. However, he is going away for a while and I know that when i do go to see him... I am going to try not to see him for the first time in months in the privacy of his apartment.

BeautifulDestiny09 · Jun 22, 2009

Everyone knows their limits, so each couple has to set their own rules...the bible does say to FLEE from sexual immorality...scripture should drive our actions...and should be in our hearts and mind at all times, especially in relationships

tracieannn · Jun 22, 2009

im just glad that God stopped that relationship before it went further. This man did not respect my wishes or respect my beleifs. He manipulated and took advantage of a vunerable woman! Good riddance!

Jesuslovesme29 · Jun 23, 2009

tracieannn said:
im just glad that God stopped that relationship before it went further. This man did not respect my wishes or respect my beleifs. He manipulated and took advantage of a vunerable woman! Good riddance!

Just do not forget to forgive him Or you will open up doors for oppression.

valuecard · Jun 28, 2009

hikingchick77 said:
I'm in my 30's, and currently dating with the sole purpose of getting married again.

I agree with the OP's assertion, but regarding the quoted section above, I feel the need to point out that unless your first husband is either dead, or left you by sleeping with someone else (divorce due to fornication), then you cant be married again in God's eyes

eatenbylocusts · Jul 1, 2009

valuecard said:
I agree with the OP's assertion, but regarding the quoted section above, I feel the need to point out that unless your first husband is either dead, or left you by sleeping with someone else (divorce due to fornication), then you cant be married again in God's eyes

Divorce is a sad thing and I try to dissuade people who are thinking about separating or divorcing unless they or the kids are in danger, but your comment is off-topic and uninvited. This poster is not discussing whether or not it's ok to remarry and maybe you don't realize it, but admonishing her on a divorce that has already occurred is just ...........none of your business.

I have Biblical grounds for mine and I have been addressed like this in the past and for me it was not pleasant to be asked to explain my situation to someone who has no need to know.

Johnnz · Jul 1, 2009

Bravely and well said.

John
NZ

valuecard · Jul 1, 2009

Just for the sake of clarity, i never asked her to explain her situation. Secondly, the THREAD is about "falling into sexual sin". Well seeking to remarry on unbiblical grounds is probably one of the main ways christians are falling into sexual sin, which makes it revelant to thread (in my opinion)

Johnnz · Jul 1, 2009

Except that the scriptures are not at clear cut as you believe. There is a lot of context behind them that gives quite a different understanding. She has no need to be clubbed over the head with something that is not actually taught.

John
NZ

eatenbylocusts · Jul 3, 2009

valuecard said:
Just for the sake of clarity, i never asked her to explain her situation. Secondly, the THREAD is about "falling into sexual sin". Well seeking to remarry on unbiblical grounds is probably one of the main ways christians are falling into sexual sin, which makes it revelant to thread (in my opinion)

You may not have used the exact words, but you are calling her out. I am concerned about my witness and about what kind of example I am setting so in my case I would feel obligated to explain my situation.

There are some things in scripture that are very cut and dried, but others that are not. In Genesis it says that it is not good for man to be alone. God recognizes this, He created us. Paul writes later that it is better to marry than to burn. There are circumstances where it is not possible to reconcile with a spouse. What is this divorced person supposed to do with the God-given need for companionship and physical affection for the rest of their lives?

Some things seem very simple to those with limited experience in those matters. Life is not that simple. Thank God for His grace and forgiveness that covers a multitude of sins. The church's response to the problem of divorce should start with preventing marriages that shouldn't happen and preparing the rest. Then the mentoring that will help couples and families stay together.

If you really want to help with this divorce problem (and it sounds as if you are justly concerned about it) make sure that your church is requiring thorough pre-marital classes. The church I've been attending for the last year requires an 8 week course that covers the areas that typically contribute most to divorce. They are tough and after going through the first 4 weeks 3 years ago, my then bf broke up with me. It works.

valuecard · Jul 3, 2009

eatenbylocusts said:
There are some things in scripture that are very cut and dried, but others that are not. In Genesis it says that it is not good for man to be alone. God recognizes this, He created us. Paul writes later that it is better to marry than to burn. There are circumstances where it is not possible to reconcile with a spouse. What is this divorced person supposed to do with the God-given need for companionship and physical affection for the rest of their lives?

Well IMHO, the divorced person is supposed to is obey this scripture:

Lu 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

If the divorce is not lawful in God's sight, then the person who wants to 'remarry' is making their future partner an adulterer in God's sight. So you have to balance it up. In the case of a divorced woman, on the one side of the coin, as you said its not good for people to be alone, and its better to marry than to burn, however on the otehr side of the coin, remarriage after an unlawful divorce is a sin in God's eyes.

Clearly, the only correct course of action is to avoid sinning against God by staying single.

27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

I kept using the word remarriage after an unlawful divorce, because there is only one time in the bible that God permits divorce, and thats when one party cheats on the faithful party through adultery, thus freeing the faithful party to divorce lawfully in God's sight.

HKAngel · Jul 5, 2009

hikingchick77 said:
My take on all these posts about courtingcouples falling into sexual sin!

Stop hanging out at each others homes...go out to eat, play mini-golf, go hiking, take a road trip, go shopping, go to the movies, go to a coffee house, etc.

I don't understand why during courtship so many people stay in and don't go out...no wonder all this sexual sin happens. This is time to have fun and go out in public, your courting each other, and should not be seeing how far you can go with each other!

I'm in my 30's, and currently dating with the sole purpose of getting married again. I think us Christians should refuse to be in a situation where this can happen. It is only allowing the devil to get a foot hold!

I so agree, my bf and I agreed early on, ALL OUTSIDE DATES because the temptation can be too great if you're always "inside" and alone. If you don't put yourself in the situation, you're less likely to fall.

waxlion10 · Jul 5, 2009

go out to eat, play mini-golf, go hiking, take a road trip, go shopping, go to the movies, go to a coffee house, etc.

Sure! You wanna give me some moolah so I can afford to date?

I don't see a problem with "inside" dates. Of course, it helps that our parents or siblings are usually home. Just because you're staying inside doesn't mean all you're doing is testing boundaries and seeing how much you can get away with, physically.

We read books, watch movies, watch YouTube videos, look up websites (like failblog.org) online, cook, bake, play video games, etc. We don't have to go outside to "court" and get to know each other better and make our relationship public.

dobieman0488 · Jul 11, 2009

martial unfaithfulness, in the original language, covers more than the act of adultery, abuse is also one of the biblical grounds for divorce.

eatenbylocusts · Jul 11, 2009

valuecard said:
Well IMHO, the divorced person is supposed to is obey this scripture:

Lu 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, andmarriethanother, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

If the divorce is not lawful in God's sight, then the person who wants to 'remarry' is making their future partner an adulterer in God's sight. So you have to balance it up. In the case of a divorced woman, on the one side of the coin, as you said its not good for people to be alone, and its better to marry than to burn, however on the otehr side of the coin, remarriage after an unlawful divorce is a sin in God's eyes.

Clearly, the only correct course of action is to avoid sinning against God by staying single.

27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

I kept using the word remarriage after an unlawful divorce, because there is only one time in the bible that God permits divorce, and thats when one party cheats on the faithful party through adultery, thus freeing the faithful party to divorce lawfully in God's sight.

I don't have the scripture in front of me, but many leaders also list abandonment as Biblical grounds for divorce.

BUT!!!! The poster didn't give any background on the reason for her divorce. You are making assumptions and the divorce has already taken place. That is my point. She isn't asking if she should remarry.

Johnnz · Jul 11, 2009

If she did ask the answer would be "yes". And "Yes" I have read the above scripture and all the others on the topic.

John
NZ

Bampot · Jul 11, 2009

If you can't even spend time alone together because of lust then I think you have a problem. There are plenty of things to do indoors that don't involve sex. My boyfriend and I spend time alone all the time doing non-sexual things. The alone times are the best times. Of course, we don't have a problem being sexual either. I guess it makes things less tense when it's not a problem.

Bootstrap · Jul 11, 2009

eatenbylocusts said:
I don't have the scripture in front of me, but many leaders also list abandonment as Biblical grounds for divorce.

In the Old Testament:

Exodus 21:7 If a man sells his daughter as a female servant, she will not go out as the male servants do. 21:8 If she does not please her master, who has designated her for himself, then he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to a foreign nation, because he has dealt deceitfully with her. 21:9 If he designated her for his son, then he will deal with her according to the customary rights of daughters. 21:10 If he takes another wife, he must not diminish the first ones food, her clothing, or her marital rights. 21:11 If he does not provide her with these three things, then she will go out free, without paying money.

Outlines the basic rights of a slave wife
∘ Food
∘ Clothing
∘ Marital rights
If these are not provided, she may go free[/quote]

In the New Testament:

1 Corinthians 7:12 To the rest I say I, not the Lord if a brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is happy to live with him, he should not divorce her. 7:13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is happy to live with her, she should not divorce him. 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife because of her husband. Otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 7:15 But if the unbeliever wants a divorce, let it take place. In these circumstances the brother or sister is not bound. God has called you in peace. 7:16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will bring your husband to salvation? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will bring your wife to salvation?

1 Corinthians 7:27 The one bound to a wife should not seek divorce. The one released from a wife should not seek marriage. 7:28 But if you marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face difficult circumstances, and I am trying to spare you such problems.

If someone has been "released from a wife" (KJV "loosed from a wife", Greek "λέλυσαι ἀπὸ γυναικός"), then Paul ("I, not the Lord") says he should not seek marriage, but if he does marriage, he has not sinned.

Bootstrap · Jul 19, 2009

valuecard said:
Well IMHO, the divorced person is supposed to is obey this scripture:

27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

Click to expand...

Hmmm, not to stir the hornet's nest again, but did anyone else notice he left out verse 28? Let's add the missing verse:

1 Corinthians 7:27 The one bound to a wife should not seek divorce. The one released from a wife should not seek marriage. 7:28 But if you marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face difficult circumstances, and I am trying to spare you such problems.

It reads a little differently if you don't edit out the verses you don't like, doesn't it?

Lots of Posts aabout "Falling" Into Sexual Sin

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