I like never ask for prayer for myself...cause I think it is selfish...but I just feel so lost right now. For those of you that have been following my post...I am sure I already have your prayers...but for those of you that haven't...here's a short summerary. I have been through abuse as a child...sexual, physical and mental. I grew up cutting myself for a release...and got into drugs and drinking. I moved to Kansas and was surrounded by Godly things...but it scared me. I also grew up around Wicca and Santanism...so I get very confused and scared by god. I moved back to Florida to be with a guy. We were living togther...and being very sinful. I got into using cocaine and drinking a lot....I haven't cut in over a year but I think I have replaced it with drugs. My boyfirned (or ex I think) has kicked me out and now I have nothing. I left my car, and my job in Kansas and I just feel so lost...and alone. Depressed...thinking about dying every day. Life just seems like an endless ban of pain. God scares me and I can't seem to trust him...like at all. i don't know what I need...besides prayer that is.