Lost my spouse only 13 days ago

Kasia Kay · May 31, 2018

Hi, I don't like forums like this because I easily get lost with all the threads. I lost my Christian husband to suicide not that long ago. He was only 47. He was not in his normal frame of mind when it happened. He had been weaning off of Valium. He was in intense pain, he rated at level 9. I could say more but I don't even want to be posting on boards... but there is absolutely no one to talk to.

Kevin Snow · May 31, 2018

I'm so sorry to hear you in this. May the Lord comfort you and speak tenderly to you. The Lord does not miss you but his eye is on you to watch you and take care of you. I hope that you find encouragement. We will all be with the Lord one day. Let his word encourage you:

All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship; before him shall bow all who go down to the dust, even the one who could not keep himself alive. ~Psalm 22:29

A_Thinker · May 31, 2018

Kasia Kay said:
Hi, I don't like forums like this because I easily get lost with all the threads. I lost my Christian husband to suicide not that long ago. He was only 47. He was not in his normal frame of mind when it happened. He had been weaning off of Valium. He was in intense pain, he rated at level 9. I could say more but I don't even want to be posting on boards... but there is absolutely no one to talk to.

So sorry ... I'll be praying ...

"Lord, please comfort this dear wife ... in the loss of her husband.

Please uplift her and give her the strength to go on ... day by day.

Bless her. Be with her. Sustain her."

1 John 4:1 · May 31, 2018

Kasia Kay said:
Hi, I don't like forums like this because I easily get lost with all the threads. I lost my Christian husband to suicide not that long ago. He was only 47. He was not in his normal frame of mind when it happened. He had been weaning off of Valium. He was in intense pain, he rated at level 9. I could say more but I don't even want to be posting on boards... but there is absolutely no one to talk to.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and that you don't have people to talk to. Please make sure you find a support group. It is really important during these situations to keep in contact with people. I would suggest asking here what other things you can do to get in contact with people who you can confide in:
Ask a Chaplain - Private Area

carolina16 · May 31, 2018

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things Christ who strengthens me.

Kasia Kay · May 31, 2018

Kevin Snow said:
I'm so sorry to hear you in this. May the Lord comfort you and speak tenderly to you. The Lord does not miss you but his eye is on you to watch you and take care of you. I hope that you find encouragement. We will all be with the Lord one day. Let his word encourage you:

All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship; before him shall bow all who go down to the dust, even the one who could not keep himself alive. ~Psalm 22:29

Ken Rank · May 31, 2018

Kasia Kay said:
Hi, I don't like forums like this because I easily get lost with all the threads. I lost my Christian husband to suicide not that long ago. He was only 47. He was not in his normal frame of mind when it happened. He had been weaning off of Valium. He was in intense pain, he rated at level 9. I could say more but I don't even want to be posting on boards... but there is absolutely no one to talk to.

I certainly have no frame of reference to even begin to understand how you must feel. I will say this... there are some pretty decent folks on here. If you really don't have anyone else, don't feel like you have to cut it short on here. Stick to one area or two, and just keep your mind working. It will help you heal, you'll make a few new friends, and perhaps one day find resolution and purpose from this tragedy.

Blessings.
Ken

Kasia Kay · May 31, 2018

Thanks, I never saw that verse before. It does give me some hope. I just want for God to give me a dream or something so that I know he is okay and is with God and didn't go to hell. Everyone is reassuring me he is in heaven but he hung himself. It was his second attempt at hanging and before that he tried to overdose. Each time he repented, but did he even get a chance to this time? What a nightmare. His big mistake was choosing to go on Valium for anxiety. Then the suicidal thoughts started. He wasn't having any before then. Then I called 911 on him and had him taken in by force to the ER. They let him go after only holding him for a few hours and told him to go back to mental health the next day. Then the evil twisted doctor instead of realizing it was the Valium to cause this switched him to another drug in the same class called Clonazepam which was triple the strength. Then he took that for month and it was toxic to him, the dose was too high so then he was having tremors. He finally called the doc about it and the doc was on vacation so the doc's nurse told him to just cut back a little because his body is not able to detox the drug quick enough. So then he was stuck trying to figure out how to wean himself without proper guidance. His family dr. agreed to do a taper, but it was too quick... he ended up in total agony of mind and heart and body. He loved me and never wanted this to happen, he was so afraid "something" was going to kill him.

Ken Rank · May 31, 2018

Kasia Kay said:
Thanks, I never saw that verse before. It does give me some hope. I just want for God to give me a dream or something so that I know he is okay and is with God and didn't go to hell. Everyone is reassuring me he is in heaven but he hung himself. It was his second attempt at hanging and before that he tried to overdose. Each time he repented, but did he even get a chance to this time? What a nightmare. His big mistake was choosing to go on Valium for anxiety. Then the suicidal thoughts started. He wasn't having any before then. Then I called 911 on him and had him taken in by force to the ER. They let him go after only holding him for a few hours and told him to go back to mental health the next day. Then the evil twisted doctor instead of realizing it was the Valium to cause this switched him to another drug in the same class called Clonazepam which was triple the strength. Then he took that for month and it was toxic to him, the dose was too high so then he was having tremors. He finally called the doc about it and the doc was on vacation so the doc's nurse told him to just cut back a little because his body is not able to detox the drug quick enough. So then he was stuck trying to figure out how to wean himself without proper guidance. His family dr. agreed to do a taper, but it was too quick... he ended up in total agony of mind and heart and body. He loved me and never wanted this to happen, he was so afraid "something" was going to kill him.

He was a fallen human (like the rest of us) that was not in his right frame of mind when he made a bad decision. Is God looking at THAT or his heart? I am not condoning suicide... if done when the mind is sober and in the right frame... I might even argue it is self murder. But when one is out of balance chemically (and pain killers do that)... was it really HIM that made that choice, or the imbalance? I believe the latter.... and therefore, I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. God is a merciful God who is SEEKING to save, not seeking to punish.

faroukfarouk · Jun 4, 2018

Kasia Kay said:
Hi, I don't like forums like this because I easily get lost with all the threads. I lost my Christian husband to suicide not that long ago. He was only 47. He was not in his normal frame of mind when it happened. He had been weaning off of Valium. He was in intense pain, he rated at level 9. I could say more but I don't even want to be posting on boards... but there is absolutely no one to talk to.

So very sorry; John 14 has been a strength to many.

faroukfarouk · Jun 4, 2018

carolina16 said:
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things Christ who strengthens me.

Another great verse; Philippians is a great favorite of mine: joy amidst suffering.

Dave G. · Jun 4, 2018

Psalm 46:10 "be still and know that I am God". He is in charge Kasia. No one would expect that you can just shut off the flow of confusion and thoughts in this but set that verse as a goal and use it and in time it may bring at least periodic relief and in more time, more relief.. Some things are just out of our ability to understand or to reason with but God has the wheel at all times. You will see that you can only move forward and do so in Him.

Southernscotty · Jun 12, 2018

Dear Friend I understand all to well what this is like and I am praying for you in Jesus name.
I also have a heavy heart from this past memorial day as I found my Father had commited suicide and the pain is terrible, However I am finding comfort in the Word daily and Romans 8:38-39 is one I would love to share with you. Bless you

brinny · Jun 12, 2018

I'm soooo sooooo sorry Kasia. Praying for you during this most tragic and heart-wrenching time of inexplicable pain and inconsolable loss. Praying that our God of All Comfort intervenes, and ministers as only He can to your very heart, mind, and soul. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen. (((hug)))

David Kent · Jun 12, 2018

Can you not speak to people in your church, who can pray with you and for yopu and comfort you?

RoseCrystal · Jun 13, 2018

Kasia Kay said:
Hi, I don't like forums like this because I easily get lost with all the threads. I lost my Christian husband to suicide not that long ago. He was only 47. He was not in his normal frame of mind when it happened. He had been weaning off of Valium. He was in intense pain, he rated at level 9. I could say more but I don't even want to be posting on boards... but there is absolutely no one to talk to.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I think God judges us on our hearts, your poor husband was not in a stable state of mind when he made this tragic decision, he couldn't think clearly, I'm sure he is with God in Heaven. I lost my father when I was 8 to very similar circumstances, I still miss him. Try and remember some happy times with him, I will pray for you and your family, I'm so sorry.

Anhelyna · Jun 13, 2018

Kasia - your beloved husband was ill - he could take no more and none of us actually know what was in his mind when he took that step.

None of us have the right to condemn him.

Losing your spouse is a terrible thing and there are very few people who realise that - you have lost part of you .

Having been there myself I would like to suggest that you find someone in your own Church who has been there - is on the same path you are now treading and just talk with them - not about why it happened - but just to talk about how they have slowly made progress , how they are coping with such mundane things as realising you are shopping for less people now , where you can find people to work for you when necessary - electricians , plumbers etc.

May God be with you on this new journey

JesusYeshuaisLord · Jun 13, 2018

Kasia Kay said:
Hi, I don't like forums like this because I easily get lost with all the threads. I lost my Christian husband to suicide not that long ago. He was only 47. He was not in his normal frame of mind when it happened. He had been weaning off of Valium. He was in intense pain, he rated at level 9. I could say more but I don't even want to be posting on boards... but there is absolutely no one to talk to.

Hi Kasia, very sorry for your loss, I pray that God's peace may envelop you and that God may be a great comfort for you.

Thanks for reaching out on here, it's important to have people to talk to, I pray that God puts someone in front of you. It might help you to find a suicide bereavement group in your town.

Here is a video you might find helpful:

Emily Foster · Jun 21, 2018

I’m so sorry for your loss, Kaisa. I’m praying that God will surround you with His love, comfort and peace at this difficult time. May He provide for all your needs, fill the empty spaces in your heart and help you in a personal way.

Anhelyna · Jun 22, 2018

Kasha

How are you doing now ?

Do please tell us how things are going - there are lots here praying for you and your husband.

Lost my spouse only 13 days ago

New Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Jesus Christ is the Lord

New Member

Well-Known Member

New Member

Well-Known Member

Fading curmudgeon

Fading curmudgeon

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

everlovin' shiner of light in dark places

Continuing Historicist

Active Member

Handmaid of God

Active Member

Active Member

Handmaid of God

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency