Losing my support system..

[HolyOne87]

A month ago, I found out my best friend (priest) is leaving my parish and going to another one that is 35-40 minutes away. This priest has helped me overcome my need to self-injure. He is one of the main reasons why I choose not to.

Now that he is leaving, I feel I might get my urges back and resort back to how I was 3-4 years ago, when I was always depressed and wanting to cut.

His move is making me somewhat ill already. I've been sick a few times recently and I have been eating a whole lot (mainly because of worry--usually I either don't eat at all or eat WAY too much). I almost became bulimic last year when something tragic happened last year to me..I started forcing myself to vomit, but then after a month, I was okay..I am afraid that'll happen again too and it will be around to stay and not go away as easily as it did before.

I'm not sure what to do. I know there are others I can lean on (God, friends, etc), but I seriously do NOT want to lose this man in my life.
He's been nothing but a blessing. I look up to him to such an extent.
That's why I haven't really been on CF for a while. I've been just in constant worry mode, in my room.

I might still be able to contact him when he leaves, but I fear he will get so caught up and busy in his new parish (he has a new position-he is pastor of the parish), that he will just forget me or our contact between each other will become less and less through time.
I am so worried....

Any suggestions on what to do..or can anyone relate to this situation..

 

[berry2000]

Can you follow him to the new parish. Although 30-40 minutes may be a drive it might be worth it.

 

[livingforGod135]

A month ago, I found out my best friend (priest) is leaving my parish and going to another one that is 35-40 minutes away. This priest has helped me overcome my need to self-injure. He is one of the main reasons why I choose not to.

Now that he is leaving, I feel I might get my urges back and resort back to how I was 3-4 years ago, when I was always depressed and wanting to cut.

His move is making me somewhat ill already. I've been sick a few times recently and I have been eating a whole lot (mainly because of worry--usually I either don't eat at all or eat WAY too much). I almost became bulimic last year when something tragic happened last year to me..I started forcing myself to vomit, but then after a month, I was okay..I am afraid that'll happen again too and it will be around to stay and not go away as easily as it did before.

I'm not sure what to do. I know there are others I can lean on (God, friends, etc), but I seriously do NOT want to lose this man in my life.
He's been nothing but a blessing. I look up to him to such an extent.
That's why I haven't really been on CF for a while. I've been just in constant worry mode, in my room.

I might still be able to contact him when he leaves, but I fear he will get so caught up and busy in his new parish (he has a new position-he is pastor of the parish), that he will just forget me or our contact between each other will become less and less through time.
I am so worried....

Any suggestions on what to do..or can anyone relate to this situation..

oh yeah... i can relate... a little... a few months ago my friend told me our youth pastor is leaving (and he has done alot for me too) and i sure know how upsetting it is and how hard you think it will be... but you know the way i see it is who are we to stand in the way of Gods plans for someone else? he knows what he's doing and he sure hasnt forgotten you, it will work out for both of you...

plus people move, it happens... sooner or later it was more likely than not that one of you would move away, now does that mean you arent going to remain friends? nooooo i have a friend in england who i havent seen for over two years but we are still friends. does it mean that he wont support you? no. i am sure that if he has took the time in the past to provide you with support he will continue to do so, sure it is easier to have this person close to you, but easier isnt always better is it.

he wont forget you, and you can keep in contact. sure you can say he may be 'too busy' but dont you think he is busy while he is where you are? yet he stil takes the time for you, im sure he will continue to do so =). sure you may lose contact but it doesnt change that you are friends, that you look up to him, or that you learnt alot from him... and you can always power up the computer or pick up the phone

its good you have a reason not to cut but just because he is 35-40 mins ago it doesnt mean he doesnt exist anymore, and it certainly doesnt mean he will stop caring. 3-4 years is a long time without cutting (congratulations on that btw ) and do you really think you are going to let something as small as a 35min drive make you fall? do you really think your friend would want that to happen??

what are you worrying for?? if its going to happen, its going to happen, just tell me this one thing: how is you worrying going to change it?
Matthew 6:34
'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own'

i hope this helps you a little, i know you asked for suggestions and this si really the only one i have: talk to him, dont ask him to stay just tell him how you feel

Laura

 

[tapero]

Hi Holy One,

I am so sorry your best friend, who has given you much support is moving.

I'll never forget when my best friend moved; it was heart wrenching.

She was the only person in the world that made me know I was loved. She is a precious friend, and we talk on the phone still after many many years.

But anyway even though I went through a very rough time of losing her due to a move (and I'm not a dependent person) I came out okay. What she gave me stayed with me, and is still here.

And no one can take that away.

She's the first ever called me sweet. Made me part of her family with 3 daughters she has and wonderful husband.

Whatever support he's given you is deeply in your heart, and hon, you'll come through this, you will.

God bless,
tapero

 

[HolyOne87]

That's true (everything everyone said).
I'm going to talk to him eventually about my concerns. I've just been an emotional wreck these past few months...especially this weekend. This weekend is his farewell party (as i said his departure is in two weeks). Tomorrow is going to be one of the few toughest days for me this month.

 

[LightInDarkPlaces]

Losing your support system? I won't have it! Do everything you can to keep in touch with your friend--phone, letters, e-mails, occasional visits...I know it won't be the same. I know it and it burns painfully, but it's reality. And what it all comes down to is this: God is stronger than reality, so when you lean on God for support, anything is possible. I am here for you 100%, and I will be praying for you. I'm sure others will do the same.

 

[Akathist]

That's true (everything everyone said).
I'm going to talk to him eventually about my concerns. I've just been an emotional wreck these past few months...especially this weekend. This weekend is his farewell party (as i said his departure is in two weeks). Tomorrow is going to be one of the few toughest days for me this month.

Dear, how are you doing?

I understand about loosing your Priest. I think it is wonderful that in addition to being the parish Priest and hearing your confessions, you have found someone who is a real "Spiritual Father" to you. That is a great thing.

Priest have a special role in the lives of Catholics and Orthodox (both EO and OO). They can be like "Spiritual Physician Assistants", or "Spiritual Nurses" (and of course, Christ is our Spiritual Physician!).

Sometimes it is not a great fit with a Priest and they don't have this special role, they hear our confessions and do their best, but they don't really effect us as deeply as your Priest has you.

Given that, I wonder if you could get permission from the new Priest (and/or Bishop) to continue to go to this Priest and get support and help. I am not Catholic so I might not understand how things work. Forgive me if I have this wrong.

But in the EO Church, if we get permission we can continue to have a "Spiritual Father" (Priest) that hears our confession and helps us even if they leave our parish or we move from that area.

 

[HolyOne87]

Dear, how are you doing?

I understand about loosing your Priest. I think it is wonderful that in addition to being the parish Priest and hearing your confessions, you have found someone who is a real "Spiritual Father" to you. That is a great thing.

Priest have a special role in the lives of Catholics and Orthodox (both EO and OO). They can be like "Spiritual Physician Assistants", or "Spiritual Nurses" (and of course, Christ is our Spiritual Physician!).

Sometimes it is not a great fit with a Priest and they don't have this special role, they hear our confessions and do their best, but they don't really effect us as deeply as your Priest has you.

Given that, I wonder if you could get permission from the new Priest (and/or Bishop) to continue to go to this Priest and get support and help. I am not Catholic so I might not understand how things work. Forgive me if I have this wrong.

But in the EO Church, if we get permission we can continue to have a "Spiritual Father" (Priest) that hears our confession and helps us even if they leave our parish or we move from that area.

I can still go to him for help and guidance...which is wonderful for me. He is like a "spiritual father" to me. He helped me understand God and how I couldn't live a life without God there. I was so lost when I didn't have God as my centering point. Then this priest helped me bring God back into my life and ever since then, my life has been wonderful.
I'm def. going to keep in touch and visit him every chance i get. He is my role model. I look up to him to such an extent. I am so blessed for him. I'd be down a long and dark road if it wasn't for God and him.