Losing my mind tonight.

[madison1101]

I am in a mess. Last week, I was prescribed prednisone for physical pain, after an evening of relapse because of the pain. It was either the ER and a huge copay to get narcotics, or the liquor store and a few bucks to get the wine.

Well, after my AA meeting on Friday, I felt much better physically, had my heating pad and my pain was much better over the weekend, but I was a mess emotionally. My psychiatrist really had mentioned that I should not take the prednisone because of my bipolar disorder. I did not heed that warning, out of desperation with the pain I was in. Well, tonight I called him, falling apart emotionally. He reminded me of his warning and told me how to taper off the steroids. He said that people with mood disorders get really manic, or psychotic if they go on steroids.

Well, I fell apart on him on the phone. I started crying because I am really up against a wall now.

Steroids are out...bipolar disorder.
NSAIDS are out...gastric bypass surgery and ulcer history.
Narcotics are out...recovering alcoholic.

Tylenol and Ultram are not making a dent in my pain, and the heating pad just takes the edge off.

He told me to talk to my doc, who I can't talk to until Friday. I can't see the rheumatologist till Christmas Eve.

So, tonight I have to deal with the insanity of the hyperventilating, heart racing, manic thoughts and feeling panicky. I thought of going to the ER, for those symptoms, but realized they would probably check me into the psychiatric hospital, and I am not going there.
Trish

 

[TheMainException]

stay strong trish, pray your way through this...you CAN do this through Christ. He wants to see you through this.

 

[madison1101]

stay strong trish, pray your way through this...you CAN do this through Christ. He wants to see you through this.

Thanks, Main. I am really feeling like I am riding an insanity roller coaster. I have periods of panic and insanity, with the hyperventilating and heart racing, and then I calm down and feel normal for a while. Then the insanity starts again.

Hopefully, as I taper off the prednisone, I will feel better.

Trish

 

[Mayflower1]

praying for you.

 

[TheMainException]

Don't let it take you for the ride...when the hyperventilating begins...close your eyes, focus on God and begin to breathe deeply and slowly, relaxing your entire body. Remember who He is and what power He has. Let His love wash the tension from your body, the panic from your veins. Let the pain slide away as you focus on only Christ. Don't stop at a minute or two, just keep focusing, let your mind still, and become silent as you let this world fall away feebly. Just keep breathing and continue to relax as His love fills you.

 

[madison1101]

Don't let it take you for the ride...when the hyperventilating begins...close your eyes, focus on God and begin to breathe deeply and slowly, relaxing your entire body. Remember who He is and what power He has. Let His love wash the tension from your body, the panic from your veins. Let the pain slide away as you focus on only Christ. Don't stop at a minute or two, just keep focusing, let your mind still, and become silent as you let this world fall away feebly. Just keep breathing and continue to relax as His love fills you.

That is exactly what I have been trying to do. I am feeling a bit better now, but I am having trouble sleeping. I hope I can get through my teaching job in the morning.

You have been terrific for me tonight.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[Daughter of His]

Praying for you!

Know that God is for you. I'm asking Him to give you His peace.

 

[TheMainException]

Good, I'm glad that helped you...I was hoping something would take more than the edge off...this attack from all sides WILL end eventually, you just have to see it through til morning...don't rest just yet, God knows you got a bit more strength yet.

 

[madison1101]

I am doing much better this morning, emotionally. The physical pain is not terrible, and I am staying moving a lot so I hope it stays that way.

I went to a meeting last night and I shared about what happened last week. I am so grateful I have my meetings to attend. I have to get my butt to one today as well.

Have a great Thanksgiving.

Trish

 

[TheMainException]

That's great Trish! Does staying active help keep the pain away? I hope so...you need something that works that you can do (or maybe this is God saying..."you've got nothing else, you can DO nothing, so you have to simply rest in me...and darn it if that isn't the hardest thing to do).

I hope your thanksgiving rocks...take today to remember what God has brought you through.

 

[madison1101]

That's great Trish! Does staying active help keep the pain away? I hope so...you need something that works that you can do (or maybe this is God saying..."you've got nothing else, you can DO nothing, so you have to simply rest in me...and darn it if that isn't the hardest thing to do).

I hope your thanksgiving rocks...take today to remember what God has brought you through.

Staying active is challenging. Before the pain med and prednisone, I was trying to walk regularly, and it seemed that the more I walked, I felt better immediately, but after resting a while, like sitting for 30 minutes, the pain returned with a vengeance. The stiffness was so horrific last week, I could not move and cried. That was the day I drank.

I have been making a gratitude list and thanking God all day..

Happy Thanksgiving.

trish

 

[TheMainException]

True thankfulness lightens the spirit...and eases the body.

Do you stretch carefully and for at least 10-15 minutes after walking? This can make a very great difference in stiffness and pain. My friend swears by it...she is a runner and has fibromyralgia. If she doesn't stretch after running, she has the worst pain...but stretching for a good long time helps the body to remove the toxins that build up during the exercise and enable the muscles to relax slower...I expect it would work the same for a time of walking as well.

And also simply try to keep your mind active and busy. This is why meditation should be a vital part of everyone's life (not saying it is for me, but I know I need it).