Looking to start life again...

[jolual789]

Hi all,

Where I am in life right now is at 20, coming on 21 and not having a clue what meaning life holds for me, or for anyone for that matter...

I was raised as pretty much to be as atheist as possible (despite going to a c of e primary school, but that was only because it was the local one). Being a kid I have never had to think about these big decisions before but now I am out on my own after a series of family breakdowns I find myself asking what else is there. Now I dont mean this in any kind of suicidal tendency at all, just what is it thats missing from my life, it feels like I have a gaping hole in my chest.

Now, some of the experiences I have had in the past two yours in my life have definitely made me aware that at least at times there is something watching over us, guiding us in our actions and I do take solace in this fact.

I suppose what I am getting at is it still possible to live life from now on as a Christian. I have done things both to loved ones and other people in my life, that thinking about makes my stomach turn. I would not consider myself as a 'normal' church goer, I smoke (although cutting down), I drink occasionally and have not saved myself for marriage, i find solace in the emo culture and my appearance reflects this. How can someone who was baptised as child possibly return from that?

That is where I struggle and find it difficult to reconcile and sit amongst people in a church where I know they would probably want to turn away in disgust if they knew my life story.

Dont get me wrong, I do feel there is definitely something out there watching over us and would dearly love to become closer to that, but to get from where I am now to a place like that I just dont see how..

I dont care if anyone writes a response to this, putting my feelings and emotions out there is kind of a therapy.

 

[CrystalJael]

Hello there. I hope that you can find your way and also hope that these forums can be of help to you. I think you would be helped by reading the story of Paul who became Saul in the Book of Acts. Paul was a very religious man but was responsible for the imprisonment, torture and murder of many Christians. This man went from this to being a true Apostle of Jesus. We do not always know the ways or the why's of God, but he can truly do anything. If you are feeling a tug towards Him, embrace it.

A short intro to Paul : htt p://ww w.biblepath. com/paul.html (my post count is to low for links so remove the spaces )

I myself was a goth teenager, similar to today's emo kids I guess. I wore a lot of black, played with my tarot cards and even had a voodoo doll I played with. I loved witch craft and was not very good to my family either. I remember cursing out my stepdad once in a pretty heated argument. Today I am pretty much the opposite of that though. It is all because of God. Even when I didn't know He was there, He was. Every hurt you experience, He is there, trying to get you through it.

I am glad you can tell He has been there. Have you asked Him to come into your heart and work with you? I believe you will eventually find the peace you seek.

 

[Sketcher]

Some of my Christian friends have included:

- Two people who were into witchcraft before they were saved
- One who had gone to jail for a felony before he was saved
- One who had gone from a devoted Christian to a lifestyle of drugs and promiscuity, then came back again, he's in ministry now
- Multiple others who had been promiscuous before they had become Christians

I go to a large church currently, so I don't know everybody there - I can't. But there have been people there who were saved out of some very extreme sins as well, some worse than what I mentioned except for the felony. When my church finds out how someone came to the Lord, no matter what his or her story is, we cheer. We cheer loud. What matters to Christians primarily is not where you've been, but where you are now.