Looking for new denomination

[Seeking_new_church]

Hi there! Was hoping to get some feedback/advice. Sorry if this is a bit long-winded.

I was raised Catholic. I was an altar boy and my family was active in our parish. I went to a Catholic university. I was a practicing Catholic until a few years ago. I like the ceremony and the quietness that comes with Catholicism. However, I support gay marriage and think it's ridiculous women can't take on a leadership role. And the issues with child abuse make it just impossible for me to stay in Catholicism.

I started going to Episcopalian services a few years ago and was even received. I love the ceremony but something just hasn't connected with me. The priests have been a bit too informal for me. This was something I thought I would like at first but it just isn't connecting with me. There are also some issues with the local parish - we're in between pastors, and there is no new one in sight anywhere.

I have been to the occasional services at contemporary churches - some with live bands and the like. Just not within my tastes.

Looking for advice on something that is more reserved and quiet. I also would like a denomination that is fine with gay marriage/clergy and women clergy, too.

I also live in Philadelphia if that is any help.

Thanks if you can help!

 

[Tigger45]

The ELCA is liturgical and sacremental and also in communion with the Episcopalians. https://www.elca.org/

 

[dqhall]

Hi there! Was hoping to get some feedback/advice. Sorry if this is a bit long-winded.

I was raised Catholic. I was an altar boy and my family was active in our parish. I went to a Catholic university. I was a practicing Catholic until a few years ago. I like the ceremony and the quietness that comes with Catholicism. However, I support gay marriage and think it's ridiculous women can't take on a leadership role. And the issues with child abuse make it just impossible for me to stay in Catholicism.

I started going to Episcopalian services a few years ago and was even received. I love the ceremony but something just hasn't connected with me. The priests have been a bit too informal for me. This was something I thought I would like at first but it just isn't connecting with me. There are also some issues with the local parish - we're in between pastors, and there is no new one in sight anywhere.

I have been to the occasional services at contemporary churches - some with live bands and the like. Just not within my tastes.

Looking for advice on something that is more reserved and quiet. I also would like a denomination that is fine with gay marriage/clergy and women clergy, too.

I also live in Philadelphia if that is any help.

Thanks if you can help!

You might search online. Some churches published videos of sermons or services online. The other way to sample churches is to visit in person. There are many books and written texts about Christianity as well.

One Episcopal Church that broke off from their bishop after the Episcopalian ordination of a lesbian pastor. They joined the Anglican Church. I have not ever seen a church with an all gay-lesbian congregation. Most churches are predominately heterosexual + celibate.

 

[TuxAme]

Why exactly are you looking for SSM and female ordination approving denominations? Are you not theologically convinced that they're wrong, or is it just personal opposition?

 

[Arcangl86]

Your best bet would be to keep trying out other Episcopal churches honestly. They can vary so much from each other.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Why exactly are you looking for SSM and female ordination approving denominations? Are you not theologically convinced that they're wrong, or is it just personal opposition?

Actually I like the honesty of them saying that they want to leave the Catholic Church rather than try to subvert it. We already have more than enough sexual subversives.

I think everyone should remain or become Catholic, even in our turmoil. But if they will not believe as Catholics are supposed to believe, best they find some other path to their chosen destination.

 

[Not David]

Any of the high liturgical Lutheran, Episcopalian or Presbyterian churches.

 

[Paidiske]

I wonder what it is that makes you think Anglican/Episcopal clergy are too informal? Is it things like not using titles in person (Father/Mother), that sort of thing?

My guess would be that on the whole, you won't find a church with the level of clericalism (and I'm guessing that's what you mean by formality) that Catholics have, that are also inclusive in the ways you want. Because by definition, the places which are more inclusive also usually have a higher view of the laity and a less exalted view of ordination, in general.

You may need to decide which area of discomfort you can most readily live with, to be honest.

 

[Arcangl86]

I wonder what it is that makes you think Anglican/Episcopal clergy are too informal? Is it things like not using titles in person (Father/Mother), that sort of thing?

My guess would be that on the whole, you won't find a church with the level of clericalism (and I'm guessing that's what you mean by formality) that Catholics have, that are also inclusive in the ways you want. Because by definition, the places which are more inclusive also usually have a higher view of the laity and a less exalted view of ordination, in general.

You may need to decide which area of discomfort you can most readily live with, to be honest.

I also wonder at that, because I have been in churches that are very formal and others that are more relaxed. It's worth knowing what they means by informal I think.

 

[Albion]

Seeker, I replied to your inquiry on the other thread you posted. Now that I have read the responses here on this one, I am still standing by what I wrote there except that I think Arcangl86s comment in post 5 here deserves some consideration from you. I said that things vary from parish to parish, but I not say the most obvious thing about your particular search--try other parishes before trying other denominations.

I also now have a question of my own. Comparing your two threads, I am wondering if the emphasis upon quiet, dignity, etc. might outweigh your preference for the historic liturgy. If so there are some other Protestant churches to consider, but this would take you away from much of the doctrine, worship style, and etc. that you have been used to, all for the sake of the quiet.

 

[PloverWing]

Welcome to CF! I live in South Jersey, not too far from you.

There are lots of Episcopal parishes in Philadelphia. Visit some of the other Episcopal churches in the city. As Arcangl86 noted, parishes vary quite a bit.

I've only been to two churches in Philadelphia and its suburbs, and both were positive experiences. St. Mark's in Philadelphia (http://www.saintmarksphiladelphia.org) is an Anglo-Catholic church; if you're looking for more formality, it might be a good fit for you. I've been to their Tenebrae service during Holy Week, and it was beautifully done. I haven't specifically inquired about the parish's views on women's or LGBT issues, but one of their priests is a woman, so that's a good sign.

I don't know how far you're willing to commute, but the other Philly-area church I've visited was St. Mary's in Ardmore (http://www.stmarysardmore.org). Not Anglo-Catholic, but nicely inclusive. One of my family members worships there. Their sanctuary is prettier than mine; I'm jealous. I've enjoyed my visits there.

I wish you well in your search.

 

[Seeking_new_church]

Welcome to CF! I live in South Jersey, not too far from you.

There are lots of Episcopal parishes in Philadelphia. Visit some of the other Episcopal churches in the city. As Arcangl86 noted, parishes vary quite a bit.

I've only been to two churches in Philadelphia and its suburbs, and both were positive experiences. St. Mark's in Philadelphia (http://www.saintmarksphiladelphia.org) is an Anglo-Catholic church; if you're looking for more formality, it might be a good fit for you. I've been to their Tenebrae service during Holy Week, and it was beautifully done. I haven't specifically inquired about the parish's views on women's or LGBT issues, but one of their priests is a woman, so that's a good sign.

I don't know how far you're willing to commute, but the other Philly-area church I've visited was St. Mary's in Ardmore (http://www.stmarysardmore.org). Not Anglo-Catholic, but nicely inclusive. One of my family members worships there. Their sanctuary is prettier than mine; I'm jealous. I've enjoyed my visits there.

I wish you well in your search.

Thanks so much! I have been to St. Mark's a few times -- all on Christmas. It's a great building and I have always enjoyed my time there. It's just difficult for me to get to that part of the city at that time. It's funny you also mention St. Mary's. I work in Ardmore right by that church. I walk past it every day on my lunch break, in fact. I should give it a try.

 

[Seeking_new_church]

I also wonder at that, because I have been in churches that are very formal and others that are more relaxed. It's worth knowing what they means by informal I think.

Informal might not be the right word choice. But I have on a few times been to a church that has something like a live rock band playing during the ceremony. I've even been to Catholic mass with something of that sort. I thought I would like something along those lines at first but I think it gets in the way of the reflectiveness that I've always enjoyed within Catholic services. I can't find that sort of quiet.

The Episcopal services I have been to have all had wonderful choirs and singing. All of the songs have been traditional hymnals. They are beautiful to listen to. But after I take communion and go back to my seat, it's hard for me to find the "quiet" that I enjoy in that personal moment. I'm not being critical at all of the beauty of an amazing singing. It's just that my mind wanders out of the moment too much. It's my fault for not having the ability to let the noise fade into the background but it does.

 

[Seeking_new_church]

Hey everyone! I actually checked out a Presbyterian service by my house. I felt drawn to it because one of my four grandparents was Presbyterian. I never went to any services with him.

To be honest: I didn’t really know what “low church” meant. This was my first low church ceremony. I really liked it. I will always like the ceremony of TEC/Catholicism. But this is what I meant by wanting something a little more quiet.

The pastor is a woman in her 30s. She gave a lovely sermon. The choir was small and the music was a simple piano.

I think I will be going to this church. Not going to say forever - there will likely be a time when I want to go back to a high church. But this felt exactly what I was looking for.

 

[GardenLady]

As someone who is in the process of moving from Catholicism to ELCA Lutheran, a few observations. Many parishes of Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran, and some other denominations have traditional and contemporary mass/services. When I was growing up, we referred in our Catholic parish to the "folk mass," there was a mass with full choir, and mass with neither guitar nor choir. The ELCA church my husband and I attend now has a traditional liturgy with full choir and organist, and a contemporary service with a "praise band." Communion is included at both services. So, it might be useful to investigate the opportunity to attend different liturgical styles.