Looking for advice/guidance

[Robertdely]

Howdy. This has been one heck of a week and I have fallen on my butt and have begun to get down on myself and question things (This is not my questioning my faith merely wondering why things are and what I should do). For background: I have had a rough experience through my early adult life, I have gotten very sick multiple times, and am the only child responsible for taking care of my two very sick parents. I have watched my mom suffer from autoimmune disease, heart disease, diabetes, and countless surgeries, the most recent of which was an emergency surgery the other night. The other morning I awoke to my mother crying and I went over to make sure I could comfort her in her time of need to which she told me that she wanted to know why she was put on earth just to suffer and if this is her only purpose. needless to say this greatly hurt me. The following few days I kept thinking of these ideas and its been haunting me ever since. I have prayed for God to guide me and my family in our time of need and I am not quiet sure where to go from here. Further, I have been seeing a beautiful, amazing, and smart Christian girl who has truly changed my life for the better. We have been seeing eachother for almost two months now and we were getting ready to make it known to others that we were a couple. Unfortunately the other night we were having a nice family night at her house and the morning after the mom told her that she is never allowed to date me because "she cannot see us together and she thinks it would be bad in Gods eyes for us to date, and further that I am not Christian enough to date her". Needless to say this hurt us both greatly. We have known each other for a few years and I truly believe that God made us close recently because it was just the right time for both of us to become close and be in each others lives. We were never close friends until recently and it had blossomed into something we both found amazing, I truly believe that she was/is my first love. My question is, I her and I both believe that we are meant to be together is it right for us to stop because her mom does not see me fit enough to be with her daughter (mind you we are both adults in our twenties). Please help.

 

[Halbhh]

Howdy. This has been one heck of a week and I have fallen on my butt and have begun to get down on myself and question things (This is not my questioning my faith merely wondering why things are and what I should do). For background: I have had a rough experience through my early adult life, I have gotten very sick multiple times, and am the only child responsible for taking care of my two very sick parents. I have watched my mom suffer from autoimmune disease, heart disease, diabetes, and countless surgeries, the most recent of which was an emergency surgery the other night. The other morning I awoke to my mother crying and I went over to make sure I could comfort her in her time of need to which she told me that she wanted to know why she was put on earth just to suffer and if this is her only purpose. needless to say this greatly hurt me. The following few days I kept thinking of these ideas and its been haunting me ever since. I have prayed for God to guide me and my family in our time of need and I am not quiet sure where to go from here. Further, I have been seeing a beautiful, amazing, and smart Christian girl who has truly changed my life for the better. We have been seeing eachother for almost two months now and we were getting ready to make it known to others that we were a couple. Unfortunately the other night we were having a nice family night at her house and the morning after the mom told her that she is never allowed to date me because "she cannot see us together and she thinks it would be bad in Gods eyes for us to date, and further that I am not Christian enough to date her". Needless to say this hurt us both greatly. We have known each other for a few years and I truly believe that God made us close recently because it was just the right time for both of us to become close and be in each others lives. We were never close friends until recently and it had blossomed into something we both found amazing, I truly believe that she was/is my first love. My question is, I her and I both believe that we are meant to be together is it right for us to stop because her mom does not see me fit enough to be with her daughter (mind you we are both adults in our twenties). Please help.

Hi, Robert, welcome here. Well, it does sound like you've had plenty on your plate there! I can sympathize partly in that while I was still in school (high school) my mother suffered a serious auto accident from which she barely survived and then was limited in abilities and subject to seizures and powerful sedative drugs and a lot of visits to doctors, but it's unique what each person experiences. One thought I have though about the young woman, whose age you did not tell us -- it would be normal for her parents to try to control who she dates when young, such as age 17 or 18 or even 19 for instance, but later in time, like by age 25 it would more normal, if she is maturing well, for her to choose mostly by herself and best to only take advice from parents, such as by age 23-27. As she gets older, it's more and more just up to her.

But, also another factor is that real love can wait, is patient.

If she is like just very early 20s, it's good to have caution, for her, and wait over time to grow up more. Men also are not ready to marry, most would say, until maturing enough, living pretty independent, making a living, and such. In other words, the dating is only very longer term, for most, if in early 20s. But everyone is unique -- some are more ready to choose for themselves something like who to marry, by age 23 or 24, and some not ready, and need more time. Anyway, most marry these days after age 25, not before, in recent decades in the U.S. (it's about age 28 roughly today). All that only means for instance that early 20s is today still pretty young, for many women, in America. But everyone is unique, and parents can be good or not so good at giving advice or trying to choose mates. Here's something you can do right now that could help you a lot! -- learn and begin to pray each day the prayer Christ gave all of us to pray in Matthew chapter 6. This is a powerful support, for any difficult times, and also, I've learned, even just for normal life, when everything is fine. Read what He said, and begin to pray as He says: Matthew 6 NIV (and then if you haven't just finished reading one, read fully through a gospel, say every year or 2, and then again, listening to all our Teacher instructs us )

 

[Robertdely]

God bless you, and thank you for the advice.

 

[Robertdely]

Hi, Robert, welcome here. Well, it does sound like you've had plenty on your plate there! I can sympathize partly in that while I was still in school (high school) my mother suffered a serious auto accident from which she barely survived and then was limited in abilities and subject to seizures and powerful sedative drugs and a lot of visits to doctors, but it's unique what each person experiences. One thought I have though about the young woman, whose age you did not tell us -- it would be normal for her parents to try to control who she dates when young, such as age 17 or 18 or even 19 for instance, but later in time, like by age 25 it would more normal, if she is maturing well, for her to choose mostly by herself and best to only take advice from parents, such as by age 23-27. As she gets older, it's more and more just up to her.

But, also another factor is that real love can wait, is patient.

If she is like just very early 20s, it's good to have caution, for her, and wait over time to grow up more. Men also are not ready to marry, most would say, until maturing enough, living pretty independent, making a living, and such. In other words, the dating is only very longer term, for most, if in early 20s. But everyone is unique -- some are more ready to choose for themselves something like who to marry, by age 23 or 24, and some not ready, and need more time. Anyway, most marry these days after age 25, not before, in recent decades in the U.S. (it's about age 28 roughly today). All that only means for instance that early 20s is today still pretty young, for many women, in America. But everyone is unique, and parents can be good or not so good at giving advice or trying to choose mates. Here's something you can do right now that could help you a lot! -- learn and begin to pray each day the prayer Christ gave all of us to pray in Matthew chapter 6. This is a powerful support, for any difficult times, and also, I've learned, even just for normal life, when everything is fine. Read what He said, and begin to pray as He says: Matthew 6 NIV (and then if you haven't just finished reading one, read fully through a gospel, say every year or 2, and then again, listening to all our Teacher instructs us )

Hi, Robert, welcome here. Well, it does sound like you've had plenty on your plate there! I can sympathize partly in that while I was still in school (high school) my mother suffered a serious auto accident from which she barely survived and then was limited in abilities and subject to seizures and powerful sedative drugs and a lot of visits to doctors, but it's unique what each person experiences. One thought I have though about the young woman, whose age you did not tell us -- it would be normal for her parents to try to control who she dates when young, such as age 17 or 18 or even 19 for instance, but later in time, like by age 25 it would more normal, if she is maturing well, for her to choose mostly by herself and best to only take advice from parents, such as by age 23-27. As she gets older, it's more and more just up to her.

But, also another factor is that real love can wait, is patient.

If she is like just very early 20s, it's good to have caution, for her, and wait over time to grow up more. Men also are not ready to marry, most would say, until maturing enough, living pretty independent, making a living, and such. In other words, the dating is only very longer term, for most, if in early 20s. But everyone is unique -- some are more ready to choose for themselves something like who to marry, by age 23 or 24, and some not ready, and need more time. Anyway, most marry these days after age 25, not before, in recent decades in the U.S. (it's about age 28 roughly today). All that only means for instance that early 20s is today still pretty young, for many women, in America. But everyone is unique, and parents can be good or not so good at giving advice or trying to choose mates. Here's something you can do right now that could help you a lot! -- learn and begin to pray each day the prayer Christ gave all of us to pray in Matthew chapter 6. This is a powerful support, for any difficult times, and also, I've learned, even just for normal life, when everything is fine. Read what He said, and begin to pray as He says: Matthew 6 NIV (and then if you haven't just finished reading one, read fully through a gospel, say every year or 2, and then again, listening to all our Teacher instructs us )

As far as age goes we are both 22 in our last year of undergrad before med school. I greatly appreciate the advice. God bless you and your family. Thank you

 

[Deade]

Hello Robert,
welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.