Long distance relationships...

[dluvs2trvl]

So what are your thoughts on those? As "mature" singles, lots of us have more at stake and more things that we would have to change or leave behind if we were to choose to become involved in a long distance relationship...but we also know how great a good relationship can be and what a gift it is to have someone love and respect you.

So would you be willing to become involved in a long distance relationship? And I mean loooong distance - like with someone in another state - across the country or even in another country...I'm not talking about someone who lives a couple of hours away...

Thoughts?

 

[ido]

I think you've posted a similar thread before. If not, I'm having a serious case of deja vu.

Obviously, my situation is such that I am not able to relocate.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Hmmm....Maybe I have - I don't remember...guess I'm still curious about it.

So what if you met someone that might be willing to relocate for you - would you get involved in a long distance relationship?

 

[ido]

The short, uncomplicated answer is yes. However, there is a longer, more complex answer that my brain is too tired to process at this time of the night.

 

[hope4today]

I am really not in a position to relocate at all. But if I met someone long distance who was, I would be prepared to have a relationship and see where it led to. After all, all things are possible with God, right?

If it became permanent I would do all I could to ensure that we got to visit their home as much as possible.

I know two couples personally who have done this successfully. In both cases the man moved to Australia. One from the US and one from Canada.
They have holidays back in their respective countries as often as they can.

I think it is probably fairly rare though.

 

[FlatpickingJD]

Yes.

 

[hope4today]

Yes.

So what about Australia JD?






oops...forgot... this isn't the flirting thread

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Yes.

The saying about a man of few words was written about you, right?

I keep thinking a LDR might be a possibility, but I don't think I would relocate just because of my mom. If my mom would be willing to move (and get her own place), then maybe.

 

[Princess Pea]

Interesting timing on this one - a relative of mine is pushing me to meet a guy who lives thousands of miles away from me. Evidently he's about to move so he'll only be hundreds of miles away ...

I don't know. My ex-BF was a little over an hour away, and that was hard enough. I don't think the outcome would have been any different if he'd lived in my town, but I do think the distance/limited visits made it harder to spot the problems that eventually broke us up. I think "distance" got used as an excuse for some things. And with gas prices going crazy lately, I'm using "Don't have to put an extra 100 miles on my car each weekend" as a consolation for the breakup.

I know there are people who make long distances work, and some very happy marriages that started out this way, but right now I'm feeling like I don't want to date anyone unless I'll be able to spend a couple evenings a week with him (not right away, of course, but when/if things get serious.) That means about 20 minutes away, tops. Golly, that sounds limiting ...

 

[country woman]

I am involved with someone who lives in another country and is on the east coast. I have seen this person on CF before we started this friendship. We started to talk to each other back in Feburary on here. now we are emailing each other almost daily.

We are not planning to meet yet cause we both feel it's not the right time.
We will both know.

I will someday move to where he is. but for now its working just fine

 

[GritsnGrace]

The saying about a man of few words was written about you, right?

I keep thinking a LDR might be a possibility, but I don't think I would relocate just because of my mom. If my mom would be willing to move (and get her own place), then maybe.

This is my reasoning, too. my mother will be 76 in July,. and not in the best of health, but still gets around okay. But, she has been in her house for 35 years. I would not, could not ever ask her to move (like she would, anyway!) So, I would not move away for the sake of a relationship. But, if the other person would want to come here, that is a different story!

 

[hope4today]

I am involved with someone who lives in another country and is on the east coast. I have seen this person on CF before we started this friendship. We started to talk to each other back in Feburary on here. now we are emailing each other almost daily.

We are not planning to meet yet cause we both feel it's not the right time.
We will both know.

I will someday move to where he is. but for now its working just fine

YAY for CW

I pray it all works out for you CW.

Have you actually ever told us who it is yet? hint hint

no pressure though.....well not much anyway

 

[Wren]

I would be willing to get into a LDR. I may be 30 years old but my life is more like that of someone in their early 20s because of being in college right now and I plan to move out of state either to get my masters or to begin my new career.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

Since my ex-bf was long distance and we were involved in it for almost a year......I just wanted to say, "it was soooooooooo hard!!!!!!" It's not fun to get in an argument, over the phone, and not be able to see each other in person to and make-up.

Would I do it again? Nah.....it was too hard for me,

 

[soccerdad66]

It's pretty hard, but I'd hate to pass up the right person for it... oh well

 

[dluvs2trvl]

It's pretty hard, but I'd hate to pass up the right person for it... oh well

Yep...that's how I feel...

I've been in two significant long distance relationships and they were very hard and they obviously didn't work out but if that's what I had to do to eventually end up with the man I'm supposed to marry then I'd do it again...

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

It's pretty hard, but I'd hate to pass up the right person for it... oh well

Yep...that's how I feel...

I've been in two significant long distance relationships and they were very hard and they obviously didn't work out but if that's what I had to do to eventually end up with the man I'm supposed to marry then I'd do it again...

that's good that you guys are optimistic about it.

I wish I could say the same thing......but I feel I had to learn a 'hard lesson'.

And the other reason I would have to pass the person up is, I would NEVER move for that person, like some other's have said too, because I have a kid and responsibilities here, PLUS, I absolutely LOVE it here!!

 

[soccerdad66]

that's good that you guys are optimistic about it.

I wish I could say the same thing......but I feel I had to learn a 'hard lesson'.

And the other reason I would have to pass the person up is, I would NEVER move for that person, like some other's have said too, because I have a kid and responsibilities here, PLUS, I absolutely LOVE it here!!

I can't relocate either. Job, son, family, responsibilites...

I've had a few long distance relationships too, one actually did move but it didnt work out. Honestly, we're both good friends still.

I'm just saying I'd hate to miss out because of it. I guess the reality is God has someone for us in his will and timing, but knowing what that is a different story

 

[Jenster]

The biggest challenge for me would be wondering whether I'm getting to know the person well enough in spite of the distance. It's hard enough when you spend time in person to see all facets of someone's personality and character.

It would be easier if I met him in person first and then for some reason he moved away.

I am really not inclined to move anywhere right now due to my parents' age/health. Although within-state would be a possibility.

But I have a good friend who met her man online and she is moving halfway across the country to be with him. According to her, it is time to start her life as a married person, even if she has to leave her family behind. She is never married, though, so she's not tied to location by kids or ex-husband.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

The biggest challenge for me would be wondering whether I'm getting to know the person well enough in spite of the distance. It's hard enough when you spend time in person to see all facets of someone's personality and character.

Well, this statement right here is sooooooo true, also!!!! Unfortunately, I had a bad experience and got involved with the wrong person in my LDR. No, you don't get to know the real person, that easily, if you started as a LDR. My ex-bf wanted to be the right person for me, to make things work out with me so badly, that he hid so much from me and I didn't know what the truth was until I was able to go out to visit him, 6 months into our relationship. (he always came to see me, and it was easier to keep the 'real him' hidden from me and to pretend he was something he wasn't).

Also, he was very insecure and I found myself (on the phone) always trying to reassure him of his 'worth' and that I was there for him....and to be honest, it started to be more of a 'chore' rather than a pleasure to have our daily phone calls......he seemed to be taking more and more things, personally, and being LD, it was hard to get my point across, on the phone.

So, that's why I'd be 'leary' of another LDR, because my last one was really bad. So, I'd be like Jen and I would have to meet the person first and get to know the person and see him, in his enviroment.