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Holly... be very careful. A boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse's role in a relationship is NOT to fix your problems. That's what counsellors are for - to help you work through your problems. Turning your SO into your counsellor can really cause problems down the track.Holly3278 said:I'm in a long distance relationship and although we do a lot of the hugging and stuff, we also do a lot of talking to each other about each other. Right now she is helping me to get over my depression and stuff.
theesh said:We treat this relationship like a best freindship. I tell her everything thats is happening and she does the same with me, no matter how painful it could be. truthfulness is always the best way to go in any type of relationship. That is, if you want the relationship to last.
Silver Speak said:..except in internet 'relationships' (I assume yours is the real thing) -you'll most likely regret sharing so much. Take it from someone who really screwed things up.
InTheFlame said:Focus on getting to know each other. Make sure your conversations aren't just -
- "Oh, I miss my darling"
- "Oh, I miss you too, my sweetie-luvy-darling-pet"
- "How long till we can see each other again?"
- "3 weeks, 6 days, 4 hours and 49 minutes"
- "I can't wait!"
- "Neither can I, I'm gonna hug you so hard..."
- "Same here. I miss you so much..."
(etc)
Hahaha! this is so true! im speaking from experience, here! we have all made our mistakes in the past. I live in Eng and i had a long term relationship with a guy in canada...totally online (wit web cams n mics etc) we never met....we didnt work out but i really do think LDR's can work. This is all really good advice by the way!
God bless!
IAMSANGEL
theesh said:Sure, in a strickly internet relationship there is always the chance of getting hurt. Not accually knowing who the other person is... so on and so forth. Thats where trust in God comes in. With me I constantly prayed (and still do) That she is real and that I'm not making a huge mistake. Thats just the nature of LDR's until you accually meet. It is all about trust. How much do you trust your other. I trust becky explicidly. As well she does me... Of course there are still doubts and questions. But those will mostly be put to rest when whe finally me. All in God's timing.
Silver Speak said:Well, I don't mean to put you (or anyone else) down but I really did pray about it. I gotta say I was pretty good at fooling myself.. Maybe it's just me. I'm just saying, it's very different in real life; you don't really understand it before you meet that person. All your hopes might come crashing down. Really, at first I had no idea how I ever got myself believe it would work out. :o
I didn't get hurt but the other party certainly did 'cause I changed my mind completely. I was disappointed, that's for sure, but not heart-broken. I figured this guy wasn't what I wanted. It's very hard to develop a relaistic picture of the person when you can't see them in person. You don't see how they act in different situations, how they interact with others. I'm telling you, it's a terrible feeling when you finally meet that person and your expectations aren't fulfilled..at all. I'm not saying there was anything wrong but I figured he couldn't be more wrong for me.
You probably think I'm such a downer but I'm just warning ya. I was really SURE it would work out and I ended up hurting him a great deal. I hope none of you make the same mistakes I did.
Silver Speak said:Well, I don't mean to put you (or anyone else) down but I really did pray about it. I gotta say I was pretty good at fooling myself.. Maybe it's just me. I'm just saying, it's very different in real life; you don't really understand it before you meet that person. All your hopes might come crashing down. Really, at first I had no idea how I ever got myself believe it would work out. :o
I didn't get hurt but the other party certainly did 'cause I changed my mind completely. I was disappointed, that's for sure, but not heart-broken. I figured this guy wasn't what I wanted. It's very hard to develop a relaistic picture of the person when you can't see them in person. You don't see how they act in different situations, how they interact with others. I'm telling you, it's a terrible feeling when you finally meet that person and your expectations aren't fulfilled..at all. I'm not saying there was anything wrong but I figured he couldn't be more wrong for me.
You probably think I'm such a downer but I'm just warning ya. I was really SURE it would work out and I ended up hurting him a great deal. I hope none of you make the same mistakes I did.
Caelda said:Just to add . . . that if someone wants to pull the wool over your eyes, they will. They're not isolated to people on the internet. I've met more nutcases in person than ones I've met online. I think you should proceed any realtionship with caution--whether it's online or not.
wolfiswill said:Heather and I did meet online. We just started talking and kept talking. She has an amazing heart. I'm going to see her in 2 weeks. I know that there are so many online relationships that fail, but the same can happens when you meet someone in person too. You really have to be careful and make sure that God is at the center of it and that your not relying on your emotions. This is just a thought.
Pikachelsea said:Sigh... inter-state LDRs can be rough but it's only complicated further if it's international. Still praying for some guidance from God on this difficult dilemma...
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