Long-distance Boyfriend

[Carri20]

My boyfriend and I live in different states. We're making plans to meet in person for the first time this summer. He's driving 14+ hours to my town and he'll probably stay for about a week. Anyway I was just wondering if any of you have ever done this before, met someone online and then met in person later, and how do you overcome the obstacle of distance. Also I want to make his visit really special but I don't have a lot of money, so if anyone has any ideas of some things we could do that aren't too expensive that would be cool. Thanks.

 

[Lil Miss]

I think its easier to work through a long distance relationship this way! If you met online to begin with, then you dont really know any different. You are use to not being able to see them everyday. Whereas on the other hand, if you two got to hang out tons and then something happened where someone moved, making it a long distance relationship, then it would be
SO hard to suddenly now see them.

 

[Labradorlight]

I have met someone online and then later met them in person...it was a great experience...turned out well but nothing romantic...but however, i do not like long distance relationships...that's how the last one ended....good luck however.

 

[Linnis]

I met my now husband online. Not only were we 16 hours + apart, we lived in different countries. We became friend but within six months when we noticed we spoke everyday and the fact I passed up real dates to sit at home and type on AIM to a American guy far far away that it was more.

The distance was really hard! More difficult after we met and after we started visiting, not only because of the cost, but it's so much harder missing someone you've actually kissed, hugged, watched tv week, held hands with watched with etc...

But if you both are commited to eachother and making your relationship work 100% it will work.

We had to deal with boards, immigration & all that so believe me you two have it a lot easier.

Keep things active, by having online dates. Sending lots of Emails and letters. Chat everyday and keep honest communication going everyday even if it's through AIM.

 

[lozzie]

I guess you could go on cheap outings that equal spending quality time together.. Eg- i love going to the movies, but it isnt exactly going to give me good conversational time for those 2 hours is it?

Its winter here now, but cause its summer for you, thats a nice time of year to get outdoors! You could go on a picnic, or for nice walks (if theres any national parks or anything near you).

 

[Carri20]

Hey thanks for all the awesome advice! I'm taking every word to heart. God bless all of you.

 

[poohbear10101]

Hey Carrie,

Everyone seems to be going either one exterme to the other. They're either telling you that it can work as a relationship LD, or that it simply won't work.....how about another view point perspective?

I met someone really awesome online. We have been talking every night for the past 10 and a half mths. We have also met a couple times in person, one time I went out there for a visit which was our first actual meeting and then we met again a mths ago when he came out here. We both are very aware that there are deeper feelings involved than a simple friendship, but we are keeping it at strictly just that....a friendship! The both of us have agreed that even though we have stronger feelings for one another, we should keep it at a friendship level until such a time that we are closer to one another. I am moving out his way in the next few months. I was living out there before, but then moved for a better job. Now that I have experience in my current job I feel that I should be able to go back "home" and find one there easier.
On that note, you must know that I am not moving out there strictly for him. He is a big reason as to why I should move out there, but not my only reason.
Once I move out there we will still continue being just friends for a little while longer until we both decide that we know eachother well enough to begin a courting relationship.

I am not saying that it isn't possible for it to work for you should you happen to want to start your relationship before either of you is living in the same area. But it will be very difficult. I believe you can know someone well enough online, but who they are online and who they are in person may seem like 2 different things. They could be 2 completely different people. How do you really know for sure unless you spend quality time with them and a week may not be enough time for you to see the real person. Everyone seems great for a while when they're trying to impress you. I'm not saying thats the case, but it would be wise to hold off on calling him your bf, at least until you actually do meet in person!

Good luck with everything!

 

[Iceman_Aragorn]

^ = "Awesome person"

 

[Carri20]

Yeah that's a concern of mine too. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but when it comes to dating and potential marriage partners there's really no room for assumptions. I have a rule that I won't marry someone unless I've known them in person and spent a lot of quality time with them for at least 18 months. Two years would be even better. I almost married the wrong guy once so believe me, I'm playing it safe from now on.

 

[Glorianna]

Yeah that's a concern of mine too. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but when it comes to dating and potential marriage partners there's really no room for assumptions. I have a rule that I won't marry someone unless I've known them in person and spent a lot of quality time with them for at least 18 months. Two years would be even better. I almost married the wrong guy once so believe me, I'm playing it safe from now on.

Good idea.