Loneliness

[BM84]

How does everyone cope with loneliness? I'm not talking about being or feeling alone for a day or two--I'm talking about pretty severe loneliness...having nobody to really talk to, fellowship with, nobody period. I'm sure it's a subject that's talked about a lot here, but it's something a lot of us struggle with--including myself. So...for everyone who has overcome loneliness out there, what can I do? Thanks.

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

There's the right way, and the wrong way. The right way, trite as it sounds, is to learn more about out Father. His character. His personhood. Him. It's not magic and things won't "get better" like flipping on a light switch. However, placing ourselves in a path that is close to God will allow him to bring things our way. Things that he knows we need. Grace, mercy, faith, love and hope all come to mind.

The wrong way, is anything other than the right way. In my particular instance, it's usually enveloping myself with work or studying on some topic and trying to master it. I've been workign an awful lot lately. Hmmm...

 

[BM84]

There's the right way, and the wrong way. The right way, trite as it sounds, is to learn more about out Father. His character. His personhood. Him. It's not magic and things won't "get better" like flipping on a light switch. However, placing ourselves in a path that is close to God will allow him to bring things our way. Things that he knows we need. Grace, mercy, faith, love and hope all come to mind.

The wrong way, is anything other than the right way. In my particular instance, it's usually enveloping myself with work or studying on some topic and trying to master it. I've been workign an awful lot lately. Hmmm...

Thanks for your reply, and I absolutely agree.

I used to feel extremely lonely and severely depressed before I turned my life over to God these past few months. I've seen so much improvement from praying and spending time with the Father that it's been amazing. I tried so many different avenues before but God, and they all led me back to the same thing--and just made me even worse. I can say that I've found God, but I'm still not fully over feeling alone and being depressed. It's great places like this exist, where we can get fellowship with other believers. In my own personal life, I don't know anyone who is willing to talk about these sorts of issues.

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

Thanks for your reply, and I absolutely agree.

I used to feel extremely lonely and severely depressed before I turned my life over to God these past few months. I've seen so much improvement from praying and spending time with the Father that it's been amazing. I tried so many different avenues before but God, and they all led me back to the same thing--and just made me even worse. I can say that I've found God, but I'm still not fully over feeling alone and being depressed. It's great places like this exist, where we can get fellowship with other believers. In my own personal life, I don't know anyone who is willing to talk about these sorts of issues.

Yes, exactly. Don't get discouraged by things not immediately changing in the way that you think it should. Humanity loves the sensational, and even in the Christian realm we love to laud the stories of instantaneous turnarounds, million dollar cheques and flashing lights from heaven. I'm sure those things happen from time to time, but God's typical way of treating people is to teach us slow and strong. To take us from moment to moment in nice, steady steps. Sometimes a jumpe here and there, but typically not much more than that.

So many people, myself included, get disouraged because our experience is not the instant recovery that we hear about on the radio or as anecdotes in radio sermons. Those anecdotes are spoken so often because they are precisely that, remarkable. God chooses to do with people what he will, and again he can work instant miracles in people's lives for one reason or another, but typically things work another way. Don't get angry at God for the more typical path that he has you on (like I can tend to do). It's certainly not a sign of his lack of concern for you.

As for loneliness, I can simply give you my own experience. I've found that I am lonliest when I am most self centered. Not to say that thinking about one's station in life and where one has been and what has been done is inherently a bad thing. Just, put yourself in a place to bless others. Blessing you will be blessed. It doesn't even need to be a "churchy" activity. Go to meetup.com and find some similar people to be around. Reflect Christ. Keep it simple. =)

 

[-MaRyy*]

God is great for loneliness but so are friends and finding ways to keep yourself busy. Dont give yourself a chance to feel lonely. If you ever need to talk to someone there are plenty of wonderful people on here who would love to listen (myself included). We have a big,wonderful God and a planet with over 6 billion people on it, theres no reason you should feel lonely.

 

[Unix]

A bit of cautiousness when starting to speak to someone, so that You don't bother people You shouldn't bother. What I imply, is that it can be good to have a bit of self-control.
What I have done, is that I have decided how many people I want to know, and I stick to that. Like right now, I only want to find someone to read the Bible together with
I've had difficulties to know people, I would also appreciate the advice.
I have been in severe loneliness many periods of my life. It's been difficult to keep people attracted to me because people tend to require that I have more money. I'm poor and I can not sustain a life with more content than this

I read the Bible a lot by myself, and litterature directly related to Bibles.

I'm not good at praying. But I enjoy going to the church, that doesn't bore me, a Catholic church.

Sometimes I try to talk to girls but I've learned that it's best to be cautious who to start to talk to

 

[SH89]

I am sure there are many ways to cope with feelings of loneliness. There are, perhaps, great techniques and habits that one can form to overcome loneliness.

I do think, however, the best thing is to make a strong effort to make more friends (or seek a relationship if that is what you want). Surrounding yourself with people with healthy realtionships is the bes way to voercome loneliness!

 

[chi_cchick]

Well, I've been living overseas for the last two and a half years, and up until this year I had only made one friend, and she was a few hours away at University, so loneliness has been a big issue in my life... multiplied by the fact that I've been dealing with unrequited love as well.

I made a decision to go back to church at the start of the year, and I felt terrible at the end of the service because no one had noticed me and said hi. I broke down crying because I'd spent about four months trying to get a dog, had no friends and no boyfriend. I'm not really that close to my family either. I felt so alone.

Then one of the older ladies at the church got me to go out with a group of girls around my age. So then I had friends and I made a few after that too. A few months later, we were finally able to adopt a dog. Then I went to a Christian camp and a prophesy that was possibly intended for me said I would be in a relationship heading for marriage soon. Wow!

Unfortunately, I found out I'm about to move back home, so I'm gonna be the new girl again. I have to leave my new friends, but my old ones will be happy to see me (they are scattered all over the country though!) and theres a $6000 fee to get my dog back, so I might have to give him up I'm hoping this is the last time I will have to go through this, I hate approaching people I don't know.

 

[hannahnicole]

I understand what you're going through at the moment as I have had severe depression and have experienced the type of loneliness that you talk of. When I was 18 I moved to Canada, to a place where I had no friends or close family. The church I attended had very few young people, and none who were close in age to myself. The 6 months that I spent there was a hard time for me, but it taught me that God is the ultimate friend and cure for loneliness. I learned that I didn't need friends, but when I fully surrendered to God and trusted in Him, He brought some good people into my life.

All I can say is - don't be discouraged, but trust God. Tell Him that you're lonely and that you want a friend. He will provide for you.

And if you ever want someone to talk to - I'm always here.

God bless you.

 

[Marycita]

There are some awesome replies here, so I won't really add anything ...

but reading this did make me remember the story of this man who was thrown in prison (i don't remember all the details, I'm sorry)...but he was kept from everything..people, sounds, light...they slipped him food each day...and he was there for a year....

whenever people talk about loneliness I think of this man...because he must have been lonelier than all - and to be thrown in prison for Christ's sake....and when he came out, he was glowing...people asked him how that was, what it was like being in there for a whole year...his response..."It was like a honeymoon with Jesus"

oh may we all have that heart in our times of loneliness!

 

[hannahnicole]

There are some awesome replies here, so I won't really add anything ...

but reading this did make me remember the story of this man who was thrown in prison (i don't remember all the details, I'm sorry)...but he was kept from everything..people, sounds, light...they slipped him food each day...and he was there for a year....

whenever people talk about loneliness I think of this man...because he must have been lonelier than all - and to be thrown in prison for Christ's sake....and when he came out, he was glowing...people asked him how that was, what it was like being in there for a whole year...his response..."It was like a honeymoon with Jesus"

oh may we all have that heart in our times of loneliness!

That's an amazing story - thanks for sharing it with us. Don't you just want your whole life to be like a honeymoon with Jesus? I do.

 

[BM84]

There are some awesome replies here, so I won't really add anything ...

but reading this did make me remember the story of this man who was thrown in prison (i don't remember all the details, I'm sorry)...but he was kept from everything..people, sounds, light...they slipped him food each day...and he was there for a year....

whenever people talk about loneliness I think of this man...because he must have been lonelier than all - and to be thrown in prison for Christ's sake....and when he came out, he was glowing...people asked him how that was, what it was like being in there for a whole year...his response..."It was like a honeymoon with Jesus"

oh may we all have that heart in our times of loneliness!

Praise be to God.

Thanks for all the replies, everyone. It's just that I've been struggling with this feeling of being lonely my entire life. It's not a new stage in my life...it's been my battle and my struggle my entire life.

I've literally spent years being indoors...by myself, with no one to talk to. It's really taken a toll on me...and I can't bear the loneliness anymore. I'm praying God will lead someone, anyone, into my life right now. I can't go on like this anymore. I'm spending time with God, serving Him, being a disciple for his glory and I'm still hurting--now more than ever. I really don't know what to do, especially right now. It's selfish of me to say this but sometimes I wish God would just take me from this Earth so that I could be with Him. I'm tired of the things of this world...

 

[anaunJq]

It hurts alot but I really dont think of coping with it I just take one day at a time literally I dont make plans.