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dellinw

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I wanted to know how some of you are managing with the loneliness and longings of widowhood. My husband's year anniversay will be next month. It has been a very hard year for me. We were married for 43yrs. He loved life and was an awesome husband to me. I miss the intimacy and companionship so much. I also feel my emotions are too fragile to begin a relationship with someone new right now. I am involved in church activities and have trips planned for the future, but nothing seems to help. So, if you have a magic cure or suggestion , Please tell me.
Helen dellinw@yahoo.com
 

moviegal

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hi helen, I too am headed the way you are
in about 15 days will be one year mark,
hard to believe,
one day at a time, but today is a hard day here,
the weather is blowing and gloomy, I had
trouble at my business yesterday that we owned
together,that I get help with but some things
still have to handle, I went down to empty out
trash from my place to find the drain pipe that
runs down the back of my business( so its a long
pipe goes from top of roof down to bottom
of the business) blowing in the wind torn apart
I stuck it back together, but had to call a handy guy
to come out and put it back together, he did
a temp job till the wind stops blowing ( been
doing that over a week and a half now!, at
least is not tornado!( count my blessings)
then the delivery guy dumped my order out
on sidewalk this morning and left it, my daughter
had called saying she couldnt unlock the back
door early, so I went donw, he usually doesnt
come till 10:30 and this was before 9am!
I was upset and called company, but felt bad
afterwards, dont want any one to loose job!
I know how unfair all this is, dont want any
one to have trouble. I dont have a magic cure,
I think time is relative in that we have
to remember where our loved ones are,
that they gone to the Lord.. I have a struggle
without my husband, but I did learn a lot from
him, and he made me more capable now, then
when we were first married, he left me in a good
place spiritually, we had one last day together in
the Lord...and thats what I hold on to.
I have a couple of books that help
Grace for tough times, by Mary j. nelson,
and footprints, by margaret fishback powers,
got that from hallmark store, that help,
but mostly I just ask God to bring people
in to my life to help me, does that sound okay
to you?
I give the day over to the Lord,
and submit to him
lately I had a few widows to talk to,
last night i ran into one who has to wait 12 years
until ss, she has gone back for courses,
to get a degree, I go to for widows only
also, helps.
I keep busy with my business, so manage weekends okay, its mostly trying to go forward I have trouble
with, making decisions are hard.
I like watching christian shows to pass time
when I am lonely, like tbn.
scrapbooking too, but mostly I think that
God uses the lonely times to bring me closer
to him, if you think of it how lonely it was
on the cross for Jesus, or when he went off
to from the crowd, look for the subject matter
under a bible study, that might help.
I think I will do that too, see what i can find.
its mostly depressing when we let things get to us,
we didnt expect this, but God knows the path
we must take, and can help us through it.
thats not a magic wand, but a Godly word.
Let the Holy Spirit fill you and teach you
thats the best answer I can give.
filling the void with his ways are best,
one thing I do do , is go visit at the hospital
and do hymn sing with my church group,
we go up and sing with patients, that are in
wheelchairs, and are taken care of, sometimes
that helps, and then getting out sometimes
helps also, when I feel closed in , I try to
go to library or somewhere..
does that make sense?
hope so,
in christ,
moviegal
 
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JeanR

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It has been 18 months for me and the loneliness at times is so unbearable. I have found things to do, especially on the weekends, which is the worst for me. I have kept very busy, to the point that I know I am running away. Both my pastor and my grief counselor told me to keep doing what I am doing, even if people don't understand. And, they don't.

I am now facing the prospect of losing my job. I will know by July 1st if I am a part of the looming layoff. I am quite sure that I will be let go. I'm not worried. God has taken care of me and will continue to do so. I have survived losing a spouse, a losing a job is nothing in comparison. What I dread about not working is the quiet time and the loneliness.

There are times I long for someone in my life, but as soon as I think that thought, I just think of Terry. I can't picture myself with someone else. Maybe in time I will, but not yet.
 
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Hisbygrace

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May 22nd will be six years for me and there are still times when I miss Buck so bad. I'm so sorry dellinw but there is no magic cure to make what you feel go away.
I know that when my beloved passed on God was with me and promised me that I would not want or need for anything and He has been true to His word.
I know that everyone reacts to lost differently and at different times. I know some people who move right ahead in new relationships and others like myself that just haven't reached that point yet.
Sometimes I do get very lonely though, but I'm just trusting God to lead me where-ever He wants me to be and if He chooses to bring another love into my life I will count it a precious gift.
God bless you all with comfort, peace and propersity as you travel this road in your lives.
 
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