living with the enemy

[mama2one]

after all these yrs, turns out don't know husband at all!
thought we were same on politics but he would never say

found out today, he's in opposite political party!
however, he said he votes according to the person not always with political party



what about other couples?
same or different?

 

[mkgal1]

Corruption isn't isolated to one political party. This is becoming more and more evident to me these days. It's not a specific political party that is our enemy....greed, abuse of power, and a lack of compassion for others is (and that is often best disguised and most sinister in unlikely places - like our churches, for instance).

 

[JohnDB]

My wife and I usually always come to the same conclusions but in a different manner of logic.

And where we are appalled by politics and are generally speaking A-political...we also find merit and revulsion by some of the political positions.

Where most people are concerned about being either pro gun or anti gun laws we are more concerned about people using them to commit suicide than in criminal enterprises...which constitutes 60% of all gun deaths.
(All this as an example of what we are considering the most important subject on the topic)

Basically all of the largest arguments throughout history have both sides of an argument formed by actually forming your natural thoughts into unnatural ones and then distilling them into a position so entrenched that you can't fathom the truth in front of you which is often neither of the two sides.

 

[snoochface]

You're being facetious about him being the enemy, right...?

 

[tall73]

We have generally agreed with each other, but that doesn't mean we have always believed the same thing all along. We both changed our views over time in a similar direction through discussion, observation, etc. The same happened with religious views.

We have still disagreed on some individual issues at times. That is fine. The more concerning thing is that he was not wanting to tell you his views.

Any idea why?

 

[mama2one]

The more concerning thing is that he was not wanting to tell you his views.
Any idea why?

just asked him & he said he doesn't like to talk politics & he's uncomfortable around people who do

guess you can live with someone a looong time & still learn new things about them

 

[mama2one]

You're being facetious about him being the enemy, right...?

lol, YES

 

[Swan7]

Yep, we are on the same page.

 

[NerdGirl]

after all these yrs, turns out don't know husband at all!
thought we were same on politics but he would never say

found out today, he's in opposite political party!
however, he said he votes according to the person not always with political party

what about other couples?
same or different?

My husband is in the "opposite" political party as well. I was slightly surprised when I found out, but not shocked. I don't talk politics with him, he likes to rant rather than discuss, and our views on certain things are very different.

I think it's admirable if your husband genuinely does vote for the person, and not the party.

 

[tall73]

& he's uncomfortable around people who do

Don't take this the wrong way, but do you think he included you in that? Do you talk a lot about politics around him? Are you pretty vocal about your views?

 

[mama2one]

.

 

[dhornace]

My wife and I are complete opposites when it comes to politics. Like not even in the same book. I tend to rant and rave too, not a good trait about me. She says I'm very "passionate" with a smirk. It can be difficult from time to time, but we have learned that as long as we remember that it is just politics we are just fine.

 

[WolfGate]

Interesting personal history (at least to me). For a while I did identify with a party, particularly in my 30s and early 40s. Then I got into church leadership and decided I couldn't be both outwardly partisan and a good leader for a diverse congregation. Didn't take too long before I stopped thinking about things in partisan terms and instead thought about things in terms of issues. I didn't realize how much the "sports team" mentality creeps in - it's like when you claim a party you tend to see things through either those red or blue colored glasses and lose objectivity. Other church leaders I know who had a similar conviction about partisanship and church leadership not being good bedfellows have commented the same thing happened with them. Now, I'm truly non-partisan and in elections care as much about candidate's qualities as I do about their stances - sometimes more. I've found my ballot is much more split than it used to be.

At home, I believe wife and I will vote same in some races and differently in others.

 

[HannahT]

after all these yrs, turns out don't know husband at all!
thought we were same on politics but he would never say

found out today, he's in opposite political party!
however, he said he votes according to the person not always with political party



what about other couples?
same or different?

I hope you are being sarcastic with your 'living with the enemy' part.

My parents were opposite parties, and drove together to be election judges. It made for some interesting dinner conversations, but they never did get nasty. Personally? I found the setup an asset growing up. You learn about both parties positions without all the extras. Heck, Mom ran for office and Dad was very supportive of it. Dad did too later on. I didn't much care for the being a political family part even though it didn't get nasty then either - even during disagreements. That's why when I was asked I didn't run for office, although my brother felt differently. Mom and my brother were opposite parties too, and it wasn't that big of a deal. We knew they wanted what was best, and wouldn't dig into the dirty that is politics. lol the part I didn't like which is the same no matter what side you are on.

Over the years my H and I had opposite views on things, and that doesn't have to be a terrible thing. People might be surprised at how much individuals have in common if they could cool the partisan stuff down a bit, and actually learn to listen. I realize that is hard today, but it can be done.

If people approach it as 'enemy' type of approach? Your going to set yourself up for heartbreak. I have always voted on policy, and yes even the person. I have crossed the aisle a couple of times, and don't base my decision on likeability. lol I wouldn't vote to often, because most of them I really don't like personally.

He might NOT have said anything, because he feared your reaction. Try to talk and not make it an 'eggshell' conversation. You both might learn something about the other, and realize how much you do have in common. A point that is being completely lost today sadly.

 

[Toro]

Yep, we are on the same page.

Nuh huh, you read faster than I do.

 

[Swan7]

Nuh huh, you read faster than I do.

How is that possible when I have dyslexia and you don't?

 

[Paidiske]

My husband and I share an outlook that's broadly in agreement, but we weight different issues differently. For him, the environment is the pressing issue; for me, I put more weight on various social welfare issues. I probably also pay more attention to different parties' policies around religious rights and freedoms than he does.

I doubt our ballots mirror each other all the time, but because we broadly agree on issues it's mostly not a source of angst for us. Of course, voting is compulsory where we are, so that does change the feel of things too, a bit.

 

[Toro]

How is that possible when I have dyslexia and you don't?

Im old and need reading glasses and they fog up with a mask.

 

[Swan7]

Im old and need reading glasses and they fog up with a mask.

That doesn't make you slower at reading sweetie... that is just self-sabotage

 

[HondaMan]

Oh boy.