Like a bullet as a friend...

[IspeakNtongues]

My best friend Eric shot himself only 3 months ago. I have been struggling with it so much. I have been able to get over it, but only a little bit. I think about him everyday and all the things that i felt like i should've said the night before, but hadnt. He never led on that he was suicidal or depressed, but i guess he knew that if he said anything, people would hold him back or something...i dunno...He had only been 19 for 1 week. He was so young still. He had so many dreams and goals for his future but i guess they werent enough. Has any1 else here lost someone 2 suicide? Im only 16 and I dont really know how to cope with this...

 

[PureGrace]

Hi Anna...

We already chatted a little but it is worth elaboration. Here is just a wee bit of my testimony...

In the 7th grade, my friend since Kindergarten, Max, killed himself. He was only 12 years old. It was so scary and hard for me. I was only 12 as well at the time and I had no idea how to cope. I got really depressed for about 8 months. I was finally beginning to come out of it when a girl I knew in the 8th grade hung herself. Now, I didnt know her too terribly well, but it brought back all those feelings, you know? Less than a month later, on 10/15/02, my friend McKenna did the same and I throught that my life was ending. I was so absolutely drenched in pain that i didnt know up from down, left from right. It was a LONG hard, few years. THen, (because Satan gets a kick out of knocking me off my feet), early sophomore year, my friend Adrian killed herself as well...I knew her better than I had known the other three and it made it 500 times as difficult. Im a junior now and still REALLY struggling with letting Adrian and McKenna go. Everytime I think that I do, they come back to haunt me once more. With both of the anniversaries to their deaths coming up (3 years for McKenna, 10/15, and 1 year for Adrian, 10/30) I am especially struggling.

When you say that it has only been 3 months since Eric died...let me tell you that there is NO WAY any of us would expect you to be totally healed right now. Dont let set backs discourage you. Im DEFINATELY not claiming to have more experience/pain with that subject, as none of those people were my best friend as he was yours. It might take you 6 months...12 months...or even more to really let him go. It is a personal thing.

I will really be praying for you Anna. I know what pain you are experiencing and it can be so overwhelming at times. Please dont hesitate to PM if you ever need anything, even if it is just someone to talk to Hang in there.

Kate

 

[artjack]

It is sad to hear of your friend. there are thousands of people comiting sueiside & it is a fact of life. it is not easy to cope with this world at times especialy if you feeling depressed. it is important for us to think about what we can do as strangers that might effect someone like just beinging nice! it could make someones day. we all need to be more understanding

 

[McWilliams]

My best friend Eric shot himself only 3 months ago. I have been struggling with it so much. I have been able to get over it, but only a little bit. I think about him everyday and all the things that i felt like i should've said the night before, but hadnt. He never led on that he was suicidal or depressed, but i guess he knew that if he said anything, people would hold him back or something...i dunno...He had only been 19 for 1 week. He was so young still. He had so many dreams and goals for his future but i guess they werent enough. Has any1 else here lost someone 2 suicide? Im only 16 and I dont really know how to cope with this...

Yes, most unfortunately, I can say I have been there! Though it was 21 years ago it at times can feel as though it was yesterday! My oldest son did this! I had to call his 5 siblings and tell them! The pain in our family was so severe. Though it was for you, the loss of a friend, you must know for certain there was not one thing you could have done! At the time of my loss I was working as a psychiatric nurse and didnt have a single clue! People who are severely depressed hide this from those they care for and even show much improvement after they form a definite decision and plan. I searched my heart over and over, trying to find a cause or reason! In psych we always said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! It leaves shattered lives behind, many in our case! God is so good and He has this whole universe under His control and even when we dont understand what takes place, if we come to Him, submit to Him and ask for HIs mercy and guidance He will provide this to you! It is a severe trauma to those left behind to deal with! Time and our sweet Lord's most special grace can be of great help! Studying His word, memorizing scripture, drawing near to Him are the greatest of all helps!
Mostly I would say to you that there was nothing you could ever have done to alter the course your friend took! You are in my prayers, that God will guide you and keep you close to His heart! Blessings and prayers!