light bulb jokes

[onfireinfredricton]

The long lost art of light bulb jokes. how many do you guys know.

Q:How many phsyciatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb.

A:1 but the light bulb has to want to change

 

[jesusrocksmyworld]

This is from the May 19th "Beetle Bailey" comic strip, so I can't take credit:

Gen. Halftrack: How many soldiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Secretary: Six. One to give the order, one to fill out the supply forms, one to requisition the ladder, one to read the manual....

 

[pimorton]

How many EPA bureaucrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

16. One to change the bulb and 15 to write the environmental impact statement.

How many (insert name of rival college and team mascot here)s does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he gets 4 semester hours credit for it.

How many pyschotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

"That lightbulb doesn't need changed. There's nothing wrong with that lightbulb. The people around the lightbulb must learn to accept the darkness."

How many U.S. presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter if the bulb gets changed or not. The next guy in the office is going to change it right back.

 

[BibleJunky]

How many Bible Scholars does it take to change a light bulb?

Six! That's right, Six 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder and the other 3 guys to debate the Bibical reasons for changing the bulb!



THEN, you'd have the Baptist's arguing over whether the bulb coming on, is a "Sign or Wonder" and if or not the bulb coming on, died off with the apostles.

Or

You'd have the Petecostal's over trying to heal the bulb and make it work.

Lame, But funny...

 

[Laia]

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?


​

Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the forces of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only please.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What light bulb??

 

[Room4all]

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?


​

Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the forces of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only please.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What light bulb??

Very Cute!!