Life in the 1990s vs. now

[kdm1984]

I was reflecting on how much has changed in the last 30ish years.

I'm almost 38. I grew up in the 1990s.

I remember a time when there was no mass Internet. Young people played Nintendo with their siblings and neighborhood friends in the same room, played outside together, and we knew everyone in our social circles through face to face contact. TV and newspapers could show us things around the world, but it was all at a safe distance. If anyone had any problems, they were settled face to face. Life was localized, tangible. Mass shootings were rare, and I never heard about any in schools until the end of the decade when Columbine and Kip Kinkel and Jonesboro happened.

Almost no one worried about their gender/birth sex. Girls who said they were boys were understood to be tomboys and would figure that out as they got older. Sensitive boys were artist types. This was fine, and it was only really extreme rarities like RuPaul who pushed the envelope as adults.

We all got our vaccines, and no one I knew worried about them causing autism or being part of government conspiracies. Our parents told us about the days of polio and how great vaccines were.

Police, teachers, and other authorities were respected. Occasionally there were bad apples, or bad departments like the LAPD, but police and teachers were seen as almost always good in society.

Church attendance was expected, meals were prayed over, the ten commandments were taught. Regarding gay people, it was love the sinner, hate the sin. Marriage was between men and women.

Sports was apolitical. Politics was something you didn't discuss much in polite company. If it was discussed, it had to be done respectfully. "Agree to disagree."

Racism was rare and something only Klan and skinhead types did. Systemic discrimination was seen as having ended in the 1960s, and we had become a racially tolerant society since then.

Sexism was also overcome. I was told I could have any job I wanted to do. I never felt discriminated against because I was female.

It seemed we were a prosperous, happy, optimistic nation. Occasionally bad things happened, and we saw them in the papers and evening news stories, but life was seen as mostly good.

There wasn't a mental health crisis. We were aware of anxiety and depression, but most people didn't have those at clinical levels. ADHD was a thing a few hyper boys at school had. Autism was a rare thing that nonverbal people had. When my sister thought I had it, my parents dismissed the idea because I was highly verbal.

I particularly remember the first part of the decade fondly. Toward the latter part, my parents got caught up in the Left Behind craze and thought the world was going to end in 2008. My brother then got addicted to the Internet and trying to find girls on it, and he committed suicide over a failed date with a girl online in 1997. Then of course stuff like Columbine started happening, 9/11 happened in 2001, etc.

Maybe I was young and naive, but things generally seemed better and more clear cut in the first part of the 1990s. We had occasional tragedies like the OK bombing and the LA riots, but it seems most people weren't living in constant fear then, hurling insults at strangers on the Internet, obsessing over gender and race and conspiracy theories, ranting about politics 24/7, or having many mental health crises.

We've progressed technologically, but I don't think American life is better now than it was then.

Agree or disagree? Have a different perspective on the 1990s or today's times?

 

[tturt]

Agree. Don't think our society is better off.Talking about this with some older individuals and they said men and women could walk anywhere without concern day or night And if someone's purse got stolen, it was in their 1950,'s newspapers.

 

[Skye1300]

Amen! I agree! The world changed at some point and I don't know what happened but things changed a LOT. Technology is fun, but it's not good for us, it's making people and the world much worse in many ways. The internet and social media and smart phones etc are like alcohol, people love it and get addicted to it, but it's not good for us and makes the world crazy.

 

[Danthemailman]

I was reflecting on how much has changed in the last 30ish years.

I'm almost 38. I grew up in the 1990s.

I remember a time when there was no mass Internet. Young people played Nintendo with their siblings and neighborhood friends in the same room, played outside together, and we knew everyone in our social circles through face to face contact. TV and newspapers could show us things around the world, but it was all at a safe distance. If anyone had any problems, they were settled face to face. Life was localized, tangible. Mass shootings were rare, and I never heard about any in schools until the end of the decade when Columbine and Kip Kinkel and Jonesboro happened.

Almost no one worried about their gender/birth sex. Girls who said they were boys were understood to be tomboys and would figure that out as they got older. Sensitive boys were artist types. This was fine, and it was only really extreme rarities like RuPaul who pushed the envelope as adults.

We all got our vaccines, and no one I knew worried about them causing autism or being part of government conspiracies. Our parents told us about the days of polio and how great vaccines were.

Police, teachers, and other authorities were respected. Occasionally there were bad apples, or bad departments like the LAPD, but police and teachers were seen as almost always good in society.

Church attendance was expected, meals were prayed over, the ten commandments were taught. Regarding gay people, it was love the sinner, hate the sin. Marriage was between men and women.

Sports was apolitical. Politics was something you didn't discuss much in polite company. If it was discussed, it had to be done respectfully. "Agree to disagree."

Racism was rare and something only Klan and skinhead types did. Systemic discrimination was seen as having ended in the 1960s, and we had become a racially tolerant society since then.

Sexism was also overcome. I was told I could have any job I wanted to do. I never felt discriminated against because I was female.

It seemed we were a prosperous, happy, optimistic nation. Occasionally bad things happened, and we saw them in the papers and evening news stories, but life was seen as mostly good.

There wasn't a mental health crisis. We were aware of anxiety and depression, but most people didn't have those at clinical levels. ADHD was a thing a few hyper boys at school had. Autism was a rare thing that nonverbal people had. When my sister thought I had it, my parents dismissed the idea because I was highly verbal.

I particularly remember the first part of the decade fondly. Toward the latter part, my parents got caught up in the Left Behind craze and thought the world was going to end in 2008. My brother then got addicted to the Internet and trying to find girls on it, and he committed suicide over a failed date with a girl online in 1997. Then of course stuff like Columbine started happening, 9/11 happened in 2001, etc.

Maybe I was young and naive, but things generally seemed better and more clear cut in the first part of the 1990s. We had occasional tragedies like the OK bombing and the LA riots, but it seems most people weren't living in constant fear then, hurling insults at strangers on the Internet, obsessing over gender and race and conspiracy theories, ranting about politics 24/7, or having many mental health crises.

We've progressed technologically, but I don't think American life is better now than it was then.

Agree or disagree? Have a different perspective on the 1990s or today's times?

American life certainly was better then than it is now. I grew up in the 70's and 80's and things have changed so much from then till now that sometimes I feel like I live on a different planet.

 

[J_B_]

Sure, things are different, but I never thought the 1990s were all that great ... or the 1980s or 1970s. There were good things. There were bad things.

 

[Danthemailman]

Sure, things are different, but I never thought the 1990s were all that great ... or the 1980s or 1970s. There were good things. There were bad things.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

 

[J_B_]

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Born in 1965. I have faint memories of hippies in VW vans, my dad screaming at the TV about Vietnam, and the first moon landing.

I remember being upset that I had to miss Gilligan's Island because of Watergate ... I think that was the show ... not 100% sure.

[edit] I'll admit a certain fondness for the 1980s, but I think that's because that was my late teens/early 20s. You're young enough to still be optimistic and relatively without responsibility. Old enough to be independent and have fun, but basically still living in the glow of your parent's protection. I think it's just the time of life, assuming you've been raised in a stable, loving home as I was. I never liked the Counter-Culture, Me-Decade, Greed-Is-Good trends of my time. Rather, times were good because I lived in a safe little bubble.

 

[Danthemailman]

Born in 1965. I have faint memories of hippies in VW vans, my dad screaming at the TV about Vietnam, and the first moon landing.

I remember being upset that I had to miss Gilligan's Island because of Watergate ... I think that was the show ... not 100% sure.

[edit] I'll admit a certain fondness for the 1980s, but I think that's because that was my late teens/early 20s. You're young enough to still be optimistic and relatively without responsibility. Old enough to be independent and have fun, but basically still living in the glow of your parent's protection. I think it's just the time of life, assuming you've been raised in a stable, loving home as I was. I never liked the Counter-Culture, Me-Decade, Greed-Is-Good trends of my time. Rather, times were good because I lived in a safe little bubble.

I was born in 1966 so we grew up having many of the same experiences.

 

[RDKirk]

I do think that the 21st century has been particularly hard for the US. Starting with the 9/11 incident, the US has been more awash with rage, fear, and socio-political chaos than it ever has before. My parents and grandparents never spoke of even the Great Depression and Jim Crow combined as being so--depressive--as Generation Z feels today.

There is always more than one thing happening, and there are several things to point to as factors.

And I'm old enough to remember Eisenhower.

 

[bèlla]

I came on the Internet in the early days. It wasn’t always a cesspool. Access was limited then. Most didn’t have computers at home or service. It was a nice place to chat and explore new topics and interests. But we had a life.

The Internet wasn’t a substitute for daily living or connections. We didn’t share personal details freely. It took a long time before images were traded and contact information was shared. You didn’t give out your email without reason. Let alone a phone number or address. Most conversed for lengthy periods (a year or more) before moving forward.

We knew we were talking to strangers. We didn’t call them friends or invite them in our lives haphazardly. Or spend all day in front of the screen. Those who did were strange and advised to log off and go outside or do something fun.

This wasn’t the lone medium for relationships. Friends or otherwise. You didn’t hear people bemoaning singleness, lack of friends, etc. Because it wasn’t a factor. We were in school, work, or pursuing goals. We had something to live for beyond the virtual and it wasn’t a replacement. Because we were satisfied.

The discontentment you hear today wasn’t commonplace. And the biggest issues you heard were cancer, heart disease, or depression. The mental health issues people speak of now were never or rarely discussed. You didn’t know anyone who had the problem beyond a textbook.

As the numbers grew the climate changed. It became a supplement and the main thing for most. Their lives revolved around it. Some capitalized on the shift financially. Others reduced their engagement or sought refuge in paid venues. Some avoid it altogether or restrict usage.

I use it strategically now. Primarily for business and professional engagement. I limit personal access to control my interactions. There’s things I don’t want to see, hear or know. I no longer have dialogues. I make comments but rarely have discussions. It requires a level of investment I’m unwilling to make in this medium.

In many respects I’ve gone backwards. I’m not anti-technology but I value reality. That’s my priority. I hold the people in my life in high esteem. They’re the ones I invest in. They’re with me on the mountain and the valley. It’s more than words.

People assign a lot of weight to empty things. Empty words…relationships…and pursuits. I’ve chosen differently. Societal changes haven’t diminished my joy and happiness. It was always a smokescreen. When you experience true love…true companionship…and true connections you don’t bother with the rest. You know its fake. You aren’t chasing rainbows. You see the lie and avoid it.

Life is beautiful. It’s wonderful and marvelous. Our choices determine its hue. It can be full of grays or bursting with sunbeams. Where the mind goes the body follows. Be careful what you dwell on, where you spend your time, and who you keep company with. Because it yields a harvest.

Evil and change are constants. How we handle them is the difference.

 

[Skye1300]

I think there is hope, many people are sorting to wake up.

People Without Social Media: Why They Don’t Use It
Written by Mike Chuin Social Media



In today’s society, it’s hard to imagine living without social media. It seems like nearly everyone is on some social platforms, whether it be Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or TikTok. But there are still some people who don’t use social media at all. Why is that?

People without social media accounts generally prefer to avoid the negative impacts on mental health, productivity, and privacy. The good news is shunning social media platforms is not a red flag but a sign of someone who uses free time on essential things in real life, a possibly attractive trait.

Now that you know why some people don’t use social media, read on!

Is It Weird That I Don’t Use Social Media?
Leaving social media is not a weird thing to do; in fact, many people are doing it with good reason.

A study by the Pew Research Center found that 42% of American adults have left Facebook. And it’s not just Facebook – people are leaving all social media platforms.

There are many reasons for this.

One reason is that people are tired of the negative impacts of social networks on mental health and people’s lives. These impacts include anxiety, depression, FOMO (fear of missing out), and cyberbullying. The use of social media apps can cause social comparison which makes users feel anxious about their appearance, relationships, and life in general. This is especially the case for an Instagram account. The online world makes social media users feel like they need to compare themselves to others or they’re not living up to society’s standards. This can lead to a lot of anxiety and depression.

Social media often makes people feel they’re missing out on something, even when they really aren’t. This is called FOMO – fear of missing out. Another con of social media networks is cyberbullying. People often post mean things on people’s social media accounts, leading to people feeling terrible about themselves.

In terms of productivity, social media can also steal people’s time that could be better spent doing something else. People spend too much time on social media apps, and they’re missing out on other things in life, like hanging out with people (in real life).

Another reason people are leaving social media is privacy concerns. How many people have had their data hacked or leaked? It’s a common occurrence nowadays. In 2020, the number of data breaches in the United States came in at a total of 1,001 cases, according to Statista. People are sick of their personal information being mishandled by social media sites.

Is Not Having Social Media a Red Flag?
For pre-teens, teens, and young adults, not having a social media profile may simply signify someone who is introverted. They don’t want to post things online for everyone on their friend list or wall see! It may be a conscious decision for other age groups to protect their privacy and reduce data collection.

Generally, it’s of more significant concern when someone’s social profile does not match who they are in the real world, which can be a red flag. Mismatching social profile data is something to investigate and a point of conversation.

Honestly, the value of social media is debatable.

I know people who have a Facebook account and haven’t logged into it or posted anything for years. The only traditional social network I use is LinkedIn, and I generally don’t know the value it even has for me. (I should probably my LinkedIn profile).

https://dataoverhaulers.com/people-without-social-media/

 

[Bob Crowley]

I know people who have a Facebook account and haven’t logged into it or posted anything for years. The only traditional social network I use is LinkedIn, and I generally don’t know the value it even has for me. (I should probably my LinkedIn profile).

https://dataoverhaulers.com/people-without-social-media/

I fit into the last category.

But then I was born in the 1950's - ancient history these days.

I remember a comment by my father that Australia is usually about five years behind US cultural changes. I suspect that time gap has narrowed, but I think life was more innocent years ago. People led simpler lives.

I remember a comment by my old pastor talking to a few of us. Once upon a time he said, "People worked, maybe they played a sport or had a hobby, and possibly went to church, and that was about it." That's not the case now.

In the end though, for most of us, life revolves around the usual routines, whatever they might be. Social media is more often than not a significant part of those routines. I caught a train a few months ago, and as I looked around the station platform, everybody except myself seemed to be glued to their mobile phones.

 

[ozso]

Life for me isn't much different than it was in the 90s. Except that I spend time on the internet that would've been spent watching TV.

 

[Skye1300]

I fit into the last category.

But then I was born in the 1950's - ancient history these days.

I remember a comment by my father that Australia is usually about five years behind US cultural changes. I suspect that time gap has narrowed, but I think life was more innocent years ago. People led simpler lives.

I remember a comment by my old pastor talking to a few of us. Once upon a time he said, "People worked, maybe they played a sport or had a hobby, and possibly went to church, and that was about it." That's not the case now.

In the end though, for most of us, life revolves around the usual routines, whatever they might be. Social media is more often than not a significant part of those routines. I caught a train a few months ago, and as I looked around the station platform, everybody except myself seemed to be glued to their mobile phones.

Yup, social media and the internet is something your brain gets rewired to need. When you never had it, you don't crave it and simple things fulfill you and entertain you. People got along fine before TV, before the internet and before social media. Someone who never drinks alcohol is fine without it, someone who's addicted to alcohol can't imagine how they can live without it. People were satisfied with a slower paced life and with the simple pleasures of life like watching the sunrise. My mom said when she was a teenager she used to love getting up early every morning just to watch the sunrise and sit and read a good book or going for a nice walk. Now today, that concept sounds foreign to a lot of people. TV and the internet has wired our brains to NEED more stimulation just to not feel bored.

 

[Skye1300]

Look at these kids in the 80s. Wow, no cell phones, everyone there in the moment.

dylanjennsen on TikTok

 

[Danthemailman]

Look at these kids in the 80s. Wow, no cell phones, everyone there in the moment.

dylanjennsen on TikTok

That takes me back. I graduated high school in 1984.

 

[JuliusSneezer]

Graduated in 96 and yeah, my wife and I have seen the changes and it’s a mixed bag. Obviously, society has fallen a great deal since then. And yes, I do miss a time when common sense was a bit more common. Nintendo was indeed awesome, SNES was even better.

But technology is nothing more than a tool. Whether it is used for good or bad it is used for depends entirely on the user.

For the shut-ins, the internet is a window to their community. A chance to be included for once. For online predators, unfettered access to your children unless you stop them.

Now we have the opportunity to avoid Black Friday madness and even order groceries without visiting some of the crazies at the grocery store. But for those who aren’t vigilant in watching their information, you can lose hundreds or more for visiting an unsecured online store to save a buck or two.

You can use social media to see pics and videos of friends and family over long distances you might’ve only been able to talk to on the phone with back in the 90s. But so can others. Previous comments, likes or shares can be used to disqualify you from jobs, get you in trouble at current ones and, I suspect, might be used for even more nefarious reasons in the future. (This is why I don’t use social media except for dummy accounts for my web app projects)


The tools may have changed, but we haven’t. I miss the 90s as well, but there is upside to this downward descent society has taken since then. If Christians place less value in this world and more in the one to come, our focus will shift more to where it should be. There’s less and less of the good things of this world to leave every day. So much that was good in this world is slowly disappearing. And for that, I thank God because this is for our benefit. Our new home will never be subject to such moral decay and the sadness that it brings. And that is the silver lining to all of this.

Take heart, the best is yet to come.

 

[kdm1984]

Great discussion, folks! Thanks so much.

Husband and I will raise our son the best we can in these very different times. Since he has PKU, a rare metabolic disorder with very strict dietary requirements that not many people can understand, we plan on home educating him. My husband is agnostic and a bit more leftist than I am (I've posted about that and our background a few times here on CF in the past), so it's not necessarily homeschooling for the typical "conservative" reasons, but I do want to teach him about the faith for sure. I'll warn him about the excesses these days, but I don't want him to be an extremist. If he turns out like, say, Matthew McConaughey, I'll be a very delighted mommy!

 

[RDKirk]

Great discussion, folks! Thanks so much.

Husband and I will raise our son the best we can in these very different times. Since he has PKU, a rare metabolic disorder with very strict dietary requirements that not many people can understand, we plan on home educating him. My husband is agnostic and a bit more leftist than I am (I've posted about that and our background a few times here on CF in the past), so it's not necessarily homeschooling for the typical "conservative" reasons, but I do want to teach him about the faith for sure. I'll warn him about the excesses these days, but I don't want him to be an extremist. If he turns out like, say, Matthew McConaughey, I'll be a very delighted mommy!

There is a host of non-conservative (or at least, non-Christian) reasons to home school.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

I was reflecting on how much has changed in the last 30ish years.

I'm almost 38. I grew up in the 1990s.

I remember a time when there was no mass Internet. Young people played Nintendo with their siblings and neighborhood friends in the same room, played outside together, and we knew everyone in our social circles through face to face contact. TV and newspapers could show us things around the world, but it was all at a safe distance. If anyone had any problems, they were settled face to face. Life was localized, tangible. Mass shootings were rare, and I never heard about any in schools until the end of the decade when Columbine and Kip Kinkel and Jonesboro happened.

Almost no one worried about their gender/birth sex. Girls who said they were boys were understood to be tomboys and would figure that out as they got older. Sensitive boys were artist types. This was fine, and it was only really extreme rarities like RuPaul who pushed the envelope as adults.

We all got our vaccines, and no one I knew worried about them causing autism or being part of government conspiracies. Our parents told us about the days of polio and how great vaccines were.

Police, teachers, and other authorities were respected. Occasionally there were bad apples, or bad departments like the LAPD, but police and teachers were seen as almost always good in society.

Church attendance was expected, meals were prayed over, the ten commandments were taught. Regarding gay people, it was love the sinner, hate the sin. Marriage was between men and women.

Sports was apolitical. Politics was something you didn't discuss much in polite company. If it was discussed, it had to be done respectfully. "Agree to disagree."

Racism was rare and something only Klan and skinhead types did. Systemic discrimination was seen as having ended in the 1960s, and we had become a racially tolerant society since then.

Sexism was also overcome. I was told I could have any job I wanted to do. I never felt discriminated against because I was female.

It seemed we were a prosperous, happy, optimistic nation. Occasionally bad things happened, and we saw them in the papers and evening news stories, but life was seen as mostly good.

There wasn't a mental health crisis. We were aware of anxiety and depression, but most people didn't have those at clinical levels. ADHD was a thing a few hyper boys at school had. Autism was a rare thing that nonverbal people had. When my sister thought I had it, my parents dismissed the idea because I was highly verbal.

I particularly remember the first part of the decade fondly. Toward the latter part, my parents got caught up in the Left Behind craze and thought the world was going to end in 2008. My brother then got addicted to the Internet and trying to find girls on it, and he committed suicide over a failed date with a girl online in 1997. Then of course stuff like Columbine started happening, 9/11 happened in 2001, etc.

Maybe I was young and naive, but things generally seemed better and more clear cut in the first part of the 1990s. We had occasional tragedies like the OK bombing and the LA riots, but it seems most people weren't living in constant fear then, hurling insults at strangers on the Internet, obsessing over gender and race and conspiracy theories, ranting about politics 24/7, or having many mental health crises.

We've progressed technologically, but I don't think American life is better now than it was then.

Agree or disagree? Have a different perspective on the 1990s or today's times?

Back then I used the text based "internet" I forgot what it was called.