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Life After Divorce?

babyangel

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I am currently going through a separation and possibly divorce. Many trandional churches teach that there is no remarriage after divorce. I don't believe my husband has cheated on me, but he has been abusive in every way. He openly admitted to me that he can't remain separated because he needs to get on with life, he wants to divorce me so basically he can see other people. He said that when I am done getting over my stubborness and want him back he would remarry me. We were together 6 years before we married and after marriage he did a complete turn around. This is when he became abusive. I have 2 children and if he can loose his temper on me what about them? According to the bible he is worse than an unbeliever. He can't hold down a job and also uses pot. (I am against any kind of drugs). Going into the marriage I was the unbeliever and he was the Catholic. I have since gone on my own spiritual path and want to become a Christian although I have not made that change yet. I feel that I am complety innocent, I put everything I had into this marriage and he will not change. He continually makes me feel bad and tells the kids we are not together because I dont want him there. He has come by in the middle of the night and threatened suicide, he has slept in his car when we first separated and parked infront of my window at work. Lawyers, friends, and family can not understand why I dont just divorce him, none of them have taken the religious aspect into account. This has been very hard to deal with. I have been in contact with preachers and the latest one said the church will sympathize with me, but ultimately my choices for remarriage/dating after divorce is my own conscience. How can I believe in the bible and foregiveness if I can not believe God would not forgive me? Any insite.
 

madison1101

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You have a lot going on right now. First, if you want to become a believer it is really simple. God loves you and sent His Son, Jesus to earth to take the punishment that you deserve for your sins by dying on the cross. God says, in His Word, that if you ask Him for forgiveness, and believe that His Son died on the cross for your sins, you can be His child forever. Your sins are removed, past, present and future, and you are declared righteous. Just pray for forgiveness and ask Jesus to be your saviour. That is all that is required to become a Christian.

As for divorce, while scriptures say divorce is hated by God, there is such a thing as grace. Abuse is intolerable, and I suggest you run to the nearest shelter, and escape it.

God understands, and will make a way for you to enjoy life in Him. Find a church that loves the Lord and loves people enough to tell them about Him.

Hugs,
Madison
 
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~Nikki~

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How can I believe in the bible and foregiveness if I can not believe God would not forgive me?

The thing is that God did not send His Son to die for us in order that we can 'accept' Him and then go on doing our own thing. Jesus' death was costly, and forgiveness from God requires repentance. People will say that repentance is feeling sorry for something and asking for forgiveness, and then just carrying on like before. But...repentance actually requires a change in behaviour. It is realising that what we are doing is wrong, having a change of mind and a change of direction...in other words stopping what we are doing. If we repent God will forgive us. In a nutshell, repentance can be defined like this "admit it and quit it".

So you ask how you can believe in the Bible and forgiveness if you cannot believe God will forgive you...God's forgiveness requires our repentance and our walking with Him. If we're disobeying Him then we're not walking with Him. If we're willfully carrying on with something that is wrong then we cannot expect God to forgive us.

Hebrews 10:26
If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of Moses dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge His people." It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

It seems from these verses that God sees willful sin as trampling His Son under foot, and treating His blood as unholy, and insulting the Spirit of grace, and if we do that we can have a fearful expectation of judgment and raging fire.

Our salvation was bought at a cost and if we want salvation we must obey God and turn from everything that He calls sin...
 
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heartnsoul

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Hi babyangel,

So many people on this forum have been divorced and remarried. God has forgiven and blessed us tremendously. God is a loving and forgiving God. Do not let others' negativity and legalistic opinions sway you to view God as a punishing God to be feared. Maybe you can start a new thread called: Divorced and Remarried, and ask those of us who have been divorced and remarried to post our testimonies & encouragement of how God has blessed us through the divorce and remarriage.

I am sorry to hear you are going through rough times. Hang in there. There is life and HAPPINESS after a divorce. Know that God loves you and wants the best for you. Lean on God during these painful times. God will strengthen and comfort you. Feel free to PM me if you need more encouragement. God bless you. :angel:
 
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BigToe

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About forgiveness- you don't have to worry about that, God took care of it. A long time ago, people had to make sacrifices to come into God's presence. Each time. And that meant people couldn't bask in His presence all the time. See, he knew about you long before you were born. And he thought you were so special he wanted to fix that. He wanted to be with you ALL the time. He wanted you to be able to meet with him as a friend. He wanted you to be able to tell him about all your cares and worries, about your joys, your concerns. He wanted you to share your entire life with him. So he sent Jesus to die for your sins so you wouldn't have to do anything to get in His presence. He took the steps, you just have to go to him.

I don't know what the problems were between you and your husband. Have the two of you tried counseling? Are you able to pinpoint what the problems are? Is he even willing to talk to you rationally about any of this? No? Then a seperation might be a good idea. Try it for a while first before making any decisions. And if he can't do that, then he isn't trying to work this out.

But I don't have opposition to divorce if you've tried everything. People change. You cannot help it if they change into someone you simply cannot get along with.

But if he hurts you or your children the only advice I can give you is to get out. It is not healthy or acting in a loving manner to yourself or your children to remain in a situation where you will be abused. That isn't what God wants for you because he loves you. He wants the best in the world for you. You are his princess. It hurts him to see you hurt so.
 
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