Lies!!!!!!!!!!!

[Xen_Antares]

Right now I am fuming as never before, and I need some advice.

About a month ago I went out on a date with an old aquiantance from High School, we reconnected on MySpace and exchanged a few phone calls, and all seemed to go well. We went bowling, went to dinner and caught a movie, I Am Legend, the date ends with a good-bye kiss and talk of another one in the future.

Well here it gets interesting, that week I tried to call her on Monday, no answer, no returned voice mail, Tuesday no answer, no returned voice mail. Wednesday, no answer but she returns my voice mail and we talk for a few, she said she wasnt feeling well and wanted to go to bed, I left it at that, being the fool I am I took her at her word, the next day I call no answer no returned voice mail, so I said to myself, the next time we talk, she calls me. We havent talked since...

Today one of her friends that works with me and my co-worker were talking and it is overheard by my aunt that I was making fat jokes throughout the date (she is heavy), and I was not, then apparently I grabbed her hand at some point in time, not sure when or where and tried to cram it down my pants, once again that did not happen, I am far too shy for that, nor do I have a whole lot to show off, so I simply don't.

I want to confront this pyschopath and find out why she is saying this, but I am not sure how or if I even should. I turn to this community for advice. I am angered to the point where I am shaking. What do I do?

Thanks for any help that can be given

~Xen

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I'm sorry to say, but there is nothing you can do or say to her. She is what she is, and believe me, if you go to her and tell her what you think of it all you will definitely leave feeling worse than when you came. Speaking from someone who has dealt in this kind of situation (not totally the same, but simular in personality) it never ends well, and I recomend leaving it as is.

 

[HOPEOF9]

Pray for her, ask God for peace and that he will defend you innocence in the matter, and then don't try to contact her again.

 

[JonMiller]

Tell the people that approach you the truth (you don't want people to think poorly of you), but I don't see why you need to confront her. Best to have learned and know that you won't be making a mistake.

JM

 

[BoarderDave]

Yup.. I side with them, if someone is mis-informed, inform them of the truth.. but don't bother with the girl. She seems pretty crazy, might blow it up even more..

Walk away man..

 

[Fremdin]

Ignore it. She's probably just one of those people who sabotage things for themselves.

 

[Blackguard_]

I want to confront this pyschopath and find out why she is saying this, but I am not sure how or if I even should.

Do you really think she'd give you an answer, or swear up and down she never said those things and try to turn the tables on you?

We havent talked since...

keep it that way. Avoid and ignore the psycho.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Right now I am fuming as never before, and I need some advice.

About a month ago I went out on a date with an old aquiantance from High School, we reconnected on MySpace and exchanged a few phone calls, and all seemed to go well. We went bowling, went to dinner and caught a movie, I Am Legend, the date ends with a good-bye kiss and talk of another one in the future.

Well here it gets interesting, that week I tried to call her on Monday, no answer, no returned voice mail, Tuesday no answer, no returned voice mail. Wednesday, no answer but she returns my voice mail and we talk for a few, she said she wasnt feeling well and wanted to go to bed, I left it at that, being the fool I am I took her at her word, the next day I call no answer no returned voice mail, so I said to myself, the next time we talk, she calls me. We havent talked since...

Today one of her friends that works with me and my co-worker were talking and it is overheard by my aunt that I was making fat jokes throughout the date (she is heavy), and I was not, then apparently I grabbed her hand at some point in time, not sure when or where and tried to cram it down my pants, once again that did not happen, I am far too shy for that, nor do I have a whole lot to show off, so I simply don't.

I want to confront this pyschopath and find out why she is saying this, but I am not sure how or if I even should. I turn to this community for advice. I am angered to the point where I am shaking. What do I do?

Thanks for any help that can be given

~Xen

Sounds like this person filtered themself out of your life, take it as a free pass to start over with someone else.

 

[septemberskies]

I agree with the mob. Just let it ride. She knows she is lying and nothing good would come out of confronting her about it.

 

[CoachR64]

I probably shouldn't be so mean, so I edited my post....

I wouldn't be too upset. She is obviously proving that she is unworthy of a good guy, so time to move on to someone who will appreciate what you have to offer

Coach

 

[septemberskies]

You may want to edit that Coach

 

[CoachR64]

I am usually totally against editing my posts. I generally let what I say stand.

I do, however, see your point and decided to change it up. Not all jokes are in good taste. Being a joke doesn't always make something right.

Coach

 

[mina]

She sounds like a drama lama mama who will make up stuff to get attention probably. Be thankful you found out now and move on. Probably anyone that knows her is aware that she sometimes tells lies.

 

[Xen_Antares]

You know what makes it worse, this is one step away from her accusing me of rape or sexual assault, just a tiny step and boom my life is ruined.

Then according to my aunt I have a co-worker, who works with me down in the mail room, and another guy I work alot with, both of whom I thought of as friends agreeing with the girls friend (someone I else I counted as a friend) agreeing it sounds like something they can see me doing. How can they see me doing this, they are the ones aggravating me to be more aggressive with the women I like, Im much too emberraced to ask if they already have a boyfriend, so they can see me trying to shove a girls hand down my trousers?????

Can someone scratch this knife wound in my back? Its pretty deep

 

[CoachR64]

You bring up a great point. She is not telling little lies about body odor, or talking too much, or anything just to blow you off towards her friends. What she is accusing you of is bordering on a criminal assault. It is a flat out assault on your character and can have a huge impact on you in the future.

I would confront those that were supposed to be my friends first. They need to know that they hurt you and how you are upset with their attack on your character.

Then, you decide whether or not you need to deal with the girl.

Coach

 

[SkywalkerJamm]

First of all, "Next" the girl. Sounds like you've already done that.

Then confront those you care about with the truth. Don't preach it at them. Ask them about "if they've heard something" and what they heard. If they deny or lie about it, don't take it personaly, just tell them you heard somewhere that she was saying these things about you and that it's totaly untrue and you wondered if they had heard anything.

Basicly, don't back them into a corner, give them a gracious way to hear the truth, save face by not admitting they were taking part in gossiping, and leave it at that. If you confront them with a "how can you belive this" attitude it comes off as to accusitory and much too defensive. It will only give them more cause to believe its true. Self depreciating, "I'm too shy to even..." works better then "that lying ...."

Just my thougths

 

[Blank123]

sounds like a girl i worked with years ago actually

chances are these coworkers know her for what she is and won't put too much confidence in her stories. just drop all communication with this girl and cut her out of your life. anyone who would lie like that is just very sad and doesn't need to be encouraged by the sort of drama and attention she would get by a confrontation, which is probably one of the things she's looking for in telling those lies. if you get a chance to give your side of the story to one of the people who was lied to - take it, there's nothing wrong with clearing your own name but just don't bother with her anymore. its not worth it.

 

[ulu]

Very odd. What do you think her motivation is in making up things about you?

 

[justaGUYnamedROB]

You know what makes it worse, this is one step away from her accusing me of rape or sexual assault, just a tiny step and boom my life is ruined.

Then according to my aunt I have a co-worker, who works with me down in the mail room, and another guy I work alot with, both of whom I thought of as friends agreeing with the girls friend (someone I else I counted as a friend) agreeing it sounds like something they can see me doing. How can they see me doing this, they are the ones aggravating me to be more aggressive with the women I like, Im much too emberraced to ask if they already have a boyfriend, so they can see me trying to shove a girls hand down my trousers?????

Can someone scratch this knife wound in my back? Its pretty deep

If this girl knows about your beliefs, and she herself doesn't share them, this could be about her acting out some kind've anti-christian vendetta.

Maybe something about how you carried yourself or something you said on your date with her convicted her? Maybe trying to bring you down to her level is a way of rebelling against it?

Just a thought.

 

[spr]

Don't go up to those guys who side with her and give them the 'why aren't you my friend' bit, that will only make them feel like they have power in their hands. Never give manipulative types any hint that they have anything over you.

The fact that they side with a liar is all that matters, and as hard as it is to have to sit there and take it while everyone gawks at you, you have to. This is one of those polarizing moments where the chaff is separated from the wheat, keep your mouth shut, expect nothing from no one, and don't be surprised if people sell you out who you might have thought wouldn't have.

Godspeed