Lied

[mariposa1127]

I think I might have lied. I have a memory of something that happened to me as a child with my father when I was 12 years old. I think I might have made this up but then the other part of me says no way that I did not make it up. Arrgh!

 

[Johnnz]

Usually a 12 year old would remember something really bad happening. Were you possibly asleep at the time? Can you recall any details of what happened? Ask God to give you some insights.

Very often, if something bad did happen the relationship would have changed in some way - eg feeling less comfortable around dad.

Does this help?

John
NZ

 

[Nutella]

Usually a 12 year old would remember something really bad happening.

Sorry but I don't agree with this. A 12 year old still has the brain of a child and chirdren often don't remember things like that. They don't want to remember.

Are you in therapy Mariposa?

I had the same feeling about my memories. I think I must have been between 5 and 7. Sometimes it just seems like a dream and often I wonder if it was a dream. I talked to my therapist about it and she said that you don't just remember things like that because you made them up or dreamt about it. Trust your instincts.

God bless you

PS. If you want to talk to someone, feel free to pm me

 

[Patrina]

I think I might have lied. I have a memory of something that happened to me as a child with my father when I was 12 years old. I think I might have made this up but then the other part of me says no way that I did not make it up. Arrgh!

I have this same feeling often.
Did I make it up?
Or make more out of it than was happening?
Did I misunderstand what was really going on?

Its easier to think I was wrong than to face what happened sometimes.

I pray you find some peace

 

[Surviving]

This is quite a hard one to answer and only you will know the truth or not. These are often called flash backs. Sometimes it is quite hard to make sense of them as pictures and details can be quite vague. Talking about it or writing it down can help to clear the picture a little. I hope you get there.

 

[MyangelDems]

Contrary to popular belief...children DO NOT just dream these kinds of things up. Very few of them come up with such dark things on their own, even at the age of 12, it's not impossible for them to lie about it...but it is improbable that they would just make up these "memories".

another thing, a 12 year old is a child...their brains aren't even fully developed yet. Repressing memories of events is not something that happens based on the age of the person. Adult surivors and child survivors can use this as a coping mechanism. It really just depends on the individual person's personality and their usual methods of handling stressful situations. If they tended to avoid or duck around issues then its more likely that they can "forget". Adults and children (who are more likely to not have developed beneficial coping mechanisms because of their age and experiences) can both "forget", it helps them not to break down from the stress of the situations at the time.

 

[Ceridwen]

Have you spoken to the police about this?

 

[mariposa1127]

No I have not spoken to the police. It was 19 years ago.

 

[Nutella]

Are you in therapy? Or did you ever try to talk to other survivers? It helps a lot you know.
I joined a support forum a while ago, before I started therapy. Those woman have helped me a lot, and I realized that my feelings and thoughts were normal . They were there "holding my hand" while I made the phone call for the appointment. If you are not in therapy, I really want to encourage you to do it. I always thought that I could make it by myself, but all those years I've lied to myself. It really would help you a lot.

 

[Ceridwen]

No I have not spoken to the police. It was 19 years ago.

Many states do not have a limitations period for sex crimes. Thus, your father could be punished for crimes that happened 20 years ago. Even in states where there is a limitations period, there is a "discovery rule" which says that the period does not begin to toll until the crime is discovered. Thus, your recovered memory begins the tolling period and not the actual event.

Here is a chart showing:

Statutes of Limitation
for prosecuting rape and/or sexual assault​

 

[ForAMomentIWillFly]

I often wonder if I made it up too...

The scars tell me I didn't, but I think it would be easier to pretend it was my fault for creating it all.

I'm sorry. Have you spoken to someone who insinuated you lied?

-Hug

 

[327]

I think I might have lied. I have a memory of something that happened to me as a child with my father when I was 12 years old. I think I might have made this up but then the other part of me says no way that I did not make it up. Arrgh!

I forgot a lot of details of my past abuse also. I believe that our minds are so powerful that it can refuse or allow any information. When I think about my past sometimes I wonder if it was a dream or not. I dont focus on trying to bring up the past. I focus on the future and what I can do to make it better for me and others.

 

[Jaydon]

Mariposa, I can relate to your situation. I held my father on a pedastal. I have always felt something bad happened to me as a kid but I couldnt pull it together. In Jan. I started having flashbacks about being abused. I went to a trauma treatment center and had a flashback about my dad. I still am in denial about what I saw. I am working in therapy and its alot but don't be ashamed it was nothing you did. If you ever want to talk please pm or email me.

 

[Mayflower1]

I think I might have lied. I have a memory of something that happened to me as a child with my father when I was 12 years old. I think I might have made this up but then the other part of me says no way that I did not make it up. Arrgh!

I've had this before in the past. Sometimes flashbacks are hard to figure out exactly, but I pray that you will be able to figure out what you want to know.

 

[Jenniferloveschrist]

okay... this is odd. I prayed to God asking him to do something that would show me whether what I am remembering has happened to me or not. Well, I came upon this and this is exactly what I was dealing with. As I read through the comments, I almost started crying, because I realized that this is like something God had me discover to help me further accept. I can't explain to you more than that, but this is a God thing.

 

[ChristsDisciple]

Just wanted to say, that sometimes i think this too and worry about it alot. Thankfully i have diaries that i kept as a child, and for me this is 'proof.'

Your mind will play tricks on you whenver it can. The chances are something did happen if you feel it, but the details are obv. unclear.

 

[AxionEsti]

This uncertainty can be an awful thing, and maybe as awful as the original thing, because it keeps you in confusion. I'm so sorry you are going through this, and I will pray for you to understand what happened, and so you can then come to terms with it, and deal with it in the correct light.

 

[sherryw]

I have this same feeling often.
Did I make it up?
Or make more out of it than was happening?
Did I misunderstand what was really going on?

Its easier to think I was wrong than to face what happened sometimes.

I pray you find some peace

I also feel this way , I sometimes think I read to much into my fathers actions ..