Yey... good news for once! 
I've been struggling very badly with my SI over the last month or two, and over the last week I've kind of decided I really wanted to stop... but I couldn't figure out what to do or where to start, because every time I've tried stopping in the past, it hasn't worked, or I ended up starting again later... Well, last night I did something that took a lot of courage for me: I threw away my collection of "tools" that I have stashed up over time... knives and razors that have, essentially, no purpose now beyond things I use to cut myself... I just... grabbed them all out of my drawer, put them in a bag, and threw them away. Not even a second thought... I just tossed everything in the trash can and I kinda felt something... click. 
Like I somehow felt freed of the need to hang onto those memories and temptations. I am very very happy! 
I really need prayers that I'll be able to keep that feeling even when things get hard, though... My parents are divorced, and I have pretty much gotten things back together at my mom's house... but I still am a little worried about going to my dad's house, because I have some unresolved issues there, that I'm working on, but it could be some time before things get worked out all the way. My dad is somewhat verbally abusive towards my little brother and me, and he can trigger me very badly at times. >_< I just need some prayers that I'll be able to survive my dad's house long enough to work things out there so I can feel safe at both houses.
I really think I've got a good start, though! I can't believe I actually had the courage to let go! *big huge grin*
I've been struggling very badly with my SI over the last month or two, and over the last week I've kind of decided I really wanted to stop... but I couldn't figure out what to do or where to start, because every time I've tried stopping in the past, it hasn't worked, or I ended up starting again later... Well, last night I did something that took a lot of courage for me: I threw away my collection of "tools" that I have stashed up over time... knives and razors that have, essentially, no purpose now beyond things I use to cut myself... I just... grabbed them all out of my drawer, put them in a bag, and threw them away. Not even a second thought... I just tossed everything in the trash can and I kinda felt something... click. Like I somehow felt freed of the need to hang onto those memories and temptations. I am very very happy! I really need prayers that I'll be able to keep that feeling even when things get hard, though... My parents are divorced, and I have pretty much gotten things back together at my mom's house... but I still am a little worried about going to my dad's house, because I have some unresolved issues there, that I'm working on, but it could be some time before things get worked out all the way. My dad is somewhat verbally abusive towards my little brother and me, and he can trigger me very badly at times. >_< I just need some prayers that I'll be able to survive my dad's house long enough to work things out there so I can feel safe at both houses.
I really think I've got a good start, though! I can't believe I actually had the courage to let go! *big huge grin*
