Just wanted to throw out a question to the marriage board. Whose parents had a harder time letting go of the child when you decided to marry? Do you think age has a factor in this? What are your thoughts?
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Letting go
- Thread starter GodWorshipper
- Start date
LiberatedChick
Contributor
My parents definately had the hardest time letting go but it was more related to me moving out than getting married (my husband and I lived together for 2.5 years before marrying (non-Christian then though)). My husbands mum had been preparing him for moving out since he was 14 and she actually wanted him to be standing on his own two feet by 18.
It was my mum that had the most trouble. We were both 18 at the time and so around the same age she moved out from her parents house. She kept my bedroom exactly how I left it for months, then she started to use it for storage but kept my bed, wardrobe and desk in there for years and said it was just in case I wanted to move back in.
I don't think it was really related to age for us as I was practically the same age she was when she moved out though my parents also got married then too. My parents had a bit of a rough time when they got married though in that they moved into bad area of town and didn't have much furniture. I think she feared the same would happen to me and so I had to reassure her that we were moving into a furnished flat and also had been buying essentials items for the past two years. My dad was fine with it though, it was just my mum. He in fact laughed when she was asking about furniture and said "Do you remember what our first beside table was dear?" the answer being a cardboard box!
I also think she was just struggling to accept that I could take care of myself because she'd never actually seen me surviving on my own! Whilst my mother in law had seen first hand that we could sort ourselves out.
When we got married we'd already been living together for 2.5 years and so she'd done the letting go thing by then. I'm kind of thankful she got to deal with one thing at a time. I imagine that if we'd got married/moved out at the same time then, despite me being three years older she'd still have had the trouble letting go.
It was my mum that had the most trouble. We were both 18 at the time and so around the same age she moved out from her parents house. She kept my bedroom exactly how I left it for months, then she started to use it for storage but kept my bed, wardrobe and desk in there for years and said it was just in case I wanted to move back in.
I don't think it was really related to age for us as I was practically the same age she was when she moved out though my parents also got married then too. My parents had a bit of a rough time when they got married though in that they moved into bad area of town and didn't have much furniture. I think she feared the same would happen to me and so I had to reassure her that we were moving into a furnished flat and also had been buying essentials items for the past two years. My dad was fine with it though, it was just my mum. He in fact laughed when she was asking about furniture and said "Do you remember what our first beside table was dear?" the answer being a cardboard box!
I also think she was just struggling to accept that I could take care of myself because she'd never actually seen me surviving on my own! Whilst my mother in law had seen first hand that we could sort ourselves out.
When we got married we'd already been living together for 2.5 years and so she'd done the letting go thing by then. I'm kind of thankful she got to deal with one thing at a time. I imagine that if we'd got married/moved out at the same time then, despite me being three years older she'd still have had the trouble letting go.
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Had? Had? Try having! After 19 years of marriage my inlaws have thrown out the following questions to my wife, "Do you ever feel you made a mistake in marrying him?," and "Would you ever consider moving back home?" Both of these questions were asked in the last 6 months!
To my wife's credit, she isn't listening!
Peace.
Peter
To my wife's credit, she isn't listening!
Peace.
Peter
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andiesmama
Senior Contributor
oh my parents, for sure....I met my husband in Kentucky (I lived there, he was working there)...his family lives in Florida....we got engaged & moved to Florida, but had the wedding in Kentucky....even tho we were living engaged in Florida, I think my parents felt a sense of "final-ness" when we got married & were MARRIED and living in Florida...we've been here for nearly 8 years & they still have a hard time!! 
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My husbands mom. We were both young but I had other siblings at home. My husband is the baby of his family and he'll always be a mama's boy.
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Well, in a sense neither family had any choice but to let go, seeing as how my husband and I were both serving in the military overseas when we met and got married. I'm sure that seeing us enlist and move so far away was much more difficult for both sets of parents than seeing us marry. However, in terms of respecting us as a new family unit, his parents were definitely the ones who wouldn't let go (despite the fact that DH was all of thirty when we married!). They were meddlesome and demanding, and to the last, they seemed to think they had a higher claim on my DH's time and energy than his own wife and children. I've often wondered why we don't hear more sermons on letting go of your adult children, and especially on not interfering in their marriages. In-laws who don't let go can do so much damage.
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