Let me explain

[GodsNikki]

First of all thank you to all the wonderful support...I am not sure what is wrong with me but I know that something is not right...I can go off the deep end over the smallest of things and believe that my feelings and actions are justified...Let me start out with an example My husband has a porn addiction and has been fighting it for some time...He has used our computer at home before and has got himself in trouble with chating on the computer that was years ago that he was chatting right before we got married..The porn thing he no longer does at home..and he has been on a great streak (as he calls it ) at work ..So when this was lall going on he gave me the password to his email just to show me I could trust him..and we put a pass code on the computer so he could not get on when I was not home...Well the other day he goes and changes his password to his email and cleans out the cookies file ( our puter has been acting up ) I called him at work ...to find out why he did all this when I was not at home...He said I cleaned the hole computer out to try to fix it...and changed my password because I am just enableing you to have control over me were you don't need to any longer..I went into freak mode..I was mad all day saying all kinds of things to ...him...I was ready to leave him and we got into a huge fight..I would not let him leave it was ugly..all over him changing his password..and not at leasting talking to me about it first,...That sounds crazy to normal people..but like he tells me I am not normal and my word is not the one the rest of the world lives in...

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dearest Nikki ,

Actually, I wouldn't say that sounds crazy to "normal" people. Porn addiction (as I've seen my friends marriages struggle with this and even end) is a heart renching "thing".

I don't think you were upset that he changed his password...but you wonder if you can "trust him".

You know Hon, you ARE normal, normal with a "mental disease" just as someone who has cancer as a disease is normal! You DO live in the same world as the rest of us! (although sometimes it doesn't seem like it )

Oh Nikki, I wish you were not so hard on yourself. As I tell my loved ones and friends when they "cut themselves down"...."please don't say negative things about someone I care about" (meaning them)

With s & s,
Wendy

 

[GodsNikki]

Dearest Nikki ,

Actually, I wouldn't say that sounds crazy to "normal" people. Porn addiction (as I've seen my friends marriages struggle with this and even end) is a heart renching "thing".

I don't think you were upset that he changed his password...but you wonder if you can "trust him".

You know Hon, you ARE normal, normal with a "mental disease" just as someone who has cancer as a disease is normal! You DO live in the same world as the rest of us! (although sometimes it doesn't seem like it )

Oh Nikki, I wish you were not so hard on yourself. As I tell my loved ones and friends when they "cut themselves down"...."please don't say negative things about someone I care about" (meaning them)

With s & s,
Wendy

Its hard not to be hard on yourself when you haave someone (husband, and your own mother) telling you how much of a nothing you are..and your every feeling and response is not normal...I don't trust him but he says it's because of my childhood and not his fault...even thought he haas done things to harm our marriage...it's all me ..and I need to get help...and if I am told I need meds and I dont or wont take them then he will leave me..I have to say I get to mad for my own good...and I will fly off the handle when i am pressed into to something I don't like or trust...Thank you for your kindness..

 

[PrairieGurl]

Its hard not to be hard on yourself when you haave someone (husband, and your own mother) telling you how much of a nothing you are..and your every feeling and response is not normal...I don't trust him but he says it's because of my childhood and not his fault...even thought he haas done things to harm our marriage...it's all me ..and I need to get help...and if I am told I need meds and I dont or wont take them then he will leave me..I have to say I get to mad for my own good...and I will fly off the handle when i am pressed into to something I don't like or trust...Thank you for your kindness..

Dearest Nikki ,

My heart aches that your own Mom would call you negative things Husbands tend to do that if they don't take the time to understand "where we're at".

I guess I will just have to pm you on a regular basis and tell you how special of a woman you are

Keep posting Nikki!
Wendy

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear GODSNikki


It is BEST for you hear this from a bipolar.


Others around us do have to suffer the pain of our disease. It's just a fact and there's very little they can do about it.


BUT one thing they can do is make sure we take our meds or place a penalty on us. My wife says the same thing and I don't blame her at all.


While we feel what we do is right, it is NOT always RIGHT. They need to be the sounding board that will let you know when things are not right.


Now in your other post you said you were told by someone you won't have to always take your meds. That is not correct. Once a bipolar always a bipolar.


My thought on that is if you are taking the right meds and things go well and you don't even know your taking them, why let that be a concern.


We must take care of our sickness as others MUST do for themselves. If your husband has a sexual addiction, it is up to him to fight it. All we can do is to keep reminding him that it comes between him and GOD.


I hope you will keep GOD'S WORD open and read a certain amount each day till it is locked in your heart. This by FAR is the VERY BEST MED you will ever take.


WITH LOVE I ASK YOU TO REMEMBER:





X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven