Leftovers

jenptcfan · Jul 15, 2004

Since someone brought up the topic of whether or not they should try to date a girl that a friend/acquanitance is currently dating, I thought I would post a poll. I wondered if there's a general difference in how males and females would react in that situation.

The question is: Would you date someone a friend is currently dating or has dated in the past?

bkg · Jul 15, 2004

Any chance there might be an "I don't know" option?

I dated a wonderful woman in college who had dated my room mate for a short period of time. It was akward for a while and sometimes hard to hear about their relationship from time to time. I told myself I would never date a friends "ex" again. But I've changed so much in the last 10 years! I think that it would depend on who each person is, what the relationship was like, etc.

I guess... "I don't know"...

caitlincares · Jul 15, 2004

Leftovers - I thought you were talking about food again.

I would not date my girl friends' ex's.
Primarly because we do not necessarily have the same interest.

My girl friend from college has been married three times and currently in another long term exclusive relationship. Have not been interested any of her guys.

mina · Jul 15, 2004

It depends on who they were and why they were an ex. And it depends on weither or not God was bringing us together.

Tuffguy · Jul 15, 2004

I'm sure if i liked the person i wouldn't care. Besides, i could pull out all kinds of funny and awkward lines when we're all hanging out together. The jokefactor alone is worth it!

songz777 · Jul 15, 2004

If and when the dust had settled and it was Gods will naturally and i we talked the issues of why she finished and the answer was suitable then yes I would

Out of the Flames · Jul 15, 2004

Tuffguy said:
I'm sure if i liked the person i wouldn't care. Besides, i could pull out all kinds of funny and awkward lines when we're all hanging out together. The jokefactor alone is worth it!

I knew you were twisted!

I HAVE dated a friend's ex. Long time ago.

Now, I'd be open to it if enough time had passed after the friend's break up and they parted on agreeable terms.

Sascha Fitzpatrick · Jul 15, 2004

I am starting a relationship with an ex-boyfriend of mine, that is also an ex-boyfriend of one of my closest friends (they lived together for about 3 years before they were Christians). We started a relationship about a year and a half after they broke up and I met her AFTER he and I had started seeing each other a lot, as they were still very good friends.

I broke it off because he wasn't entirely over her, however he has grown and matured so much in the last couple of years (and has shown me consistently that he is now over her - without having to say anything), that I'm willing to pursue things again, as is he.

She's now married, and is SO not jealous about it, I just wish she would be happy for us - I don't think she is, solely because she is so fixated on what he USED to be, not what he is now

Other than that, it's been a great situation

Sasch

Sasch

remy · Jul 15, 2004

not after knowing they had sex regularly.

wvmtnkid · Jul 15, 2004

I thought this was a food thread too!

Can I have a "it depends" option? I tend to be very loyal to my friends. If there were some feelings left between my friend for the fellow, I don't think I would, or could for that matter, start anything with him. My feeling is that a guy isn't worth a friendship.

However, if they ended on good terms and both have moved on and don't seem to really care who the other one dates, then I don't think I would have a problem with it. It might feel a little weird at first, but I think it would work itself out if the right feelings were there.

Mother Vashti · Jul 15, 2004

1) not if they had sex
2) not if there were intense reasons why they separated

Living4Him03 · Jul 15, 2004

Haha, with some of my friends no way! The guys one friend has dated are not guys I would even consider. Aside from that, it is somewhat unethical and not very loyal to your friend to date their ex. However, I did want to date my friend in Iraq when I was friends with his ex-girlfriend. She was still in love with him and practically obsessed with the guy. I wasn't very GOOD friends with her and I didn't think since I met him before I met her that I had to be "loyal" to her or something. He was single and I was interested, so it wasn't a big deal. It just depends.

Living4Him03 · Jul 15, 2004

Oh and on the sex thing, yah that would not be something i'd want to deal with. it's hard enough to accept it if someone has had sex before or has had sex regularly or has lived with someone, but then if they had done these things with a friend of mine...I don't think so! That's sort of weird to me I guess.

Sascha Fitzpatrick · Jul 15, 2004

As to the sex thing - don't really think about it - and why should it bother me?

I guess if I was the type to dwell on such a thing (and if all I heard about was how great she was in bed, etc etc) then I'd probably feel differently!

Thankfully, we're mature enough to realise that it's in the past, and if you don't want to know - don't ask! Plus - I REALLY don't think he'd be into telling me about it - that's just RUDE

Sasch

Spicy McHaggis · Jul 16, 2004

I too thought this was a food thread. Well, now that I've been baited and switched...

It depends on the relationship they had. If they went on a few dates I don't think it's a problem. If they were serious then no, she's off limits.

Stanfi · Jul 16, 2004

jenptcfan said:
.

The question is: Would you date someone a friend is currently dating or has dated in the past?

I dunno, what does she look like?

I guess more releastically, Probably not.

Oh wait a minute, when I was younger 17, I did try to do this. However, unsucessfully. However, in my defence, I thought the girl was a good person, and the 'friend' treated her horrible.

john14v6 · Jul 16, 2004

It depends on the circumstances surrounding their relationship...if they are on good terms or not. Personally my 'ex' (though that's not exactly the best connotation...more like a good friend that I dated once) and I are still great friends and he's engaged to my other good friend ... and I could't be happier for them. Hey, I think they rock! Those two will be a great team for the Lord.

lilray · Jul 16, 2004

i'd have to say no. it wouldn't be worth the possibility of losing a friend.

KeilCoppes · Jul 17, 2004

Jen, I'll join those who were excited thinking this was a food thread!

As to dating, a lot would depend on the particular situation and how they had both acted and how things had gone. It hasn't come up for me in person - not many of those around.

If you're a bachelor and can't realistically think about dating, at least you can think about food, though.... Hmmm - leftover yankee pot roast, potatoes, carrots, brown gravy, green beans.... wait a sec, that was the last meal a girl I was involved with cooked for me! No fair!.... OK, Lord, got it - it was fair... If I don't have M, at least I have blessed memories of the food.... mmmm pot roast...!

Selah · Jul 17, 2004

I was faced with this last year---my friend has this boyfriend, they've had sex, had all this history together, and then she (once again) dumps him for another guy. So a month later he asks me out, and my body screamed yes, and my conscience screamed "you betta not!" So, I went with my conscience, and I'm glad I did, because: 1) she has just begun to trust women to be her friends, and 2) she can be easily offended, and I don't think she would've took that too well...so, no I don't think I would, but that's not my final answer...

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Leftovers

Would you date your friend's Ex?

I'm FEMALE, and I would date a friend's ex.

I'm MALE, and I would date a friend's ex.

I'm FEMALE, and I would NOT date a friend's ex.

I'm MALE, and I would NOT date a friend's ex.

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