Learned a Lesson

I learned a lesson recently, and Alive Again helped me through it. I'll try to make this as short as possible, as I tend to go way too much into detail.

I was diagnosed in fall of last year. The woman that diagnosed me said I was mixed episode and she was concerned about the severity. She started me on a medication at a very small dosage. The medicine did start to help me right away and I knew for sure that I was indeed bipolar.

At my 2nd session after only being diagnosed for 2 weeks, she informed me she would increase the dosage gradually until I was up to 400 mg. This seemed like a lot to me, but I thought she must know what she's talking about.

After going above 150-200 mg., my behavior and thought life started to worsen again. The only way to put this is that I was a nervous wreck. I pulled at my shirt because I thought it was choking me. I could only wear v-necks every day and couldn't zip up my jacket. I stopped the car constantly to readjust seatbelt, etc. I would cry and not be able to attend church because I was shaking on the inside and the outside--and I have always enjoyed attending church.

I couldn't remember being exactly that nervous ALL THE TIME before...but I thought it must just be part of my illness. So up I went from 300 to 400 mg. as the doctor instructed. I was nervous from within 1 hour of taking the pills in the morning, up until 2 a.m. or so the next morning. I was so nervous that I had to take the Xanax she'd prescribed just to sleep.

I talked to my doctor saying that the dosage was too high but she would not listen to me, in fact, she became sarcastic and angry with me.

I am seeing another specialist and I'm now set at 200 mg and quite stable. I won't be needing Xanax and if I need help sleeping, something milder will be prescribed as I seem to be very sensitive to certain medications. It's not that I'm against these medications! It's that every person has a specific tolerance for these medicines, and I wasn't being listened to.

Alive Again was very sympathetic and listened to all my groanings about the 1st specialist. She urged me to be honest with her and that if necessary, I could find another doctor. That is, indeed, what happened.

The specialist actually raised her voice to me and said, "Would you like to see someone else?" and I said politely, "Yes, thank you, I would."

I have never been as stable as I have been the last few weeks since stabilizing at a different dosage. I know it's not a permanent solution and that it might have to change in the future, to a different dosage or a different medicine...but, I wanted to share with you all that there can be some balance to our lives! Maybe not complete balance, but nevertheless...by being straightforward, my treatment improved greatly.

I was afraid of the 1st therapist. She was an intimidating person who did not act like she cared about me in the least.

Don't settle for anything but the best for you. If your therapist is cold or sarcastic toward you, pray to your Father, check your insurance book and find someone else!

Thanks for listening.

Ruth D, I was just waiting to hear your story! I knew that I couldn't have been the only one.

HUGE hugs to you and God's rich blessings and mercy be upon you, sister.

I'm amazed at everyone's input here and the wisdom behind the words and occurences you have each shared.

Together in the bond with Jesus, we have victory and we can stand straight with our backs to the wind in His strength. God blesses us with mercy and grace. He blesses us by giving us each other. He is a good God full of truth, grace, mercy, and righteousness. Praise be to God our Father.

Every time I think of you, I rejoice. (Can't find verse.) So here's a different one I found:

Ephesians 3:20,21 "Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think--according to the power that works in you--to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.