Last night's convo

[DZoolander]

Daughter: Daddy, I can't wait until I'm 15.
Me: Why?
Daughter: Because that's when I can have a boyfriend.
Me: Really? Who told you that?
Daughter: Mommy.
Me: Really now. Mommy didn't talk to me about that.
Mommy: Sorry!
Me: I might have some different ideas.
Daughter: Like what?
Me: Like...30.
Mommy & Daughter: What????

 

[mkgal1]

So.....are you going to ask her what she thinks is so great about having a boyfriend?

 

[DZoolander]

So.....are you going to ask her what she thinks is so great about having a boyfriend?

I'll ask her tonight...lol

 

[DZoolander]

If there's one lesson I want to impart - it's that she ought not rush things. People want to get way too serious way too soon and take their juvenile relationships wayyyyy too seriously. Date around, get to know people, have your crushes, get some free meals, etc...and move on. Get your education, then when you're in your mid to late 20's, then start thinking about being more than just casual in your relationships.

 

[JRichard68]

Mid to late 20's??? Heck, I had my first girlfriend at 11 (Thankfully, "Will Inness" was held back a grade and he wasn't in the way messing up my plan for a while... )

 

[DZoolander]

So.....are you going to ask her what she thinks is so great about having a boyfriend?

"Because then I can kiss them dad!"

 

[DZoolander]

(Asked her tonight at dinner lol)

 

[mkgal1]

"Because then I can kiss them dad!"

(Asked her tonight at dinner lol)

.....and YOUR response?

I totally agree with your philosophy--that there's no rush. I had the same attitude with our daughter (and probably began these conversations around the same time ). I tried to [constantly...LOL] sell her the idea that "having a boyfriend" instead of just friends that were boys would limit her (like she'd have to be torn about how to spend her time and worry about hurt feelings of others). The kissing, though? Agh. I don't believe I was ever presented with that.

 

[DZoolander]

I really had no additional response...I just chuckled to myself and let it pass.

One of the major formative things in my life was how the issue of sex (or anything sexual) was addressed with me pre-puberty. Since I didn't know anything about it, even the small nuanced things were internalized, I think...and set the framework of how I looked at the issue once it actually became important to me. There were quite a few dysfunctional adolescent years - and I believe it was dysfunctional due to how the issue of sex was addressed with me.

As a result - I'm really careful about how I address those issues with my daughter/son. My goal as a parent is not to promote chastity, IMHO. I do not see it as my job to deliver a virgin to her future husband way down the road, so I'm not going to send messages hopefully with the goal of circumventing future sex by making anything to do with premature relations sound unappealing or bad...lol Rather, I want well balanced kids who learn to deal with their feelings as they comes up.

So, when I hear that she thinks 15 will be the age when she can kiss, heck, if she has her first kiss by 15 instead of earlier, I'll count myself as lucky. lol I'm leaving that one alone for now.

 

[DZoolander]

Repeat post for some reason

 

[DZoolander]

Mid to late 20's??? Heck, I had my first girlfriend at 11 (Thankfully, "Will Inness" was held back a grade and he wasn't in the way messing up my plan for a while... )

Oh I didn't mean don't have a boyfriend until the mid to late 20's. I think it's good to date around.

What I want to impart is that until you're older, all relationships are basically crap. lol

 

[DZoolander]

...

 

[DZoolander]

Another repeat. Something weird is going on.

 

[JRichard68]

Another repeat. Something weird is going on.

Yeah, I was wondering why I was getting three notices that you'd quoted my post. I know I'm brilliant and all, but...
Bit I know what you mean. At 20 I was dating a 17 year old. I had no business doing that and It probably messed us both up to a significant degree.

 

[mkgal1]

I want well balanced kids who learn to deal with their feelings as they comes up.

So, when I hear that she thinks 15 will be the age when she can kiss, heck, if she has her first kiss by 15 instead of earlier, I'll count myself as lucky. lol I'm leaving that one alone for now.