Lame Joke(s)

[G1keO]

Post some groan out loud jokes here

 

[G1keO]

Why did the chicken limp across the road?

To make a lame joke

 

[G1keO]

So these two Hydrogen atoms are walking down the road, one says to the other one "Hey I think I lost an electron" other one asks "Are you sure?" first one replies "Yes, Im positive!"

 

[G1keO]

Linebacker says to QuarterBack "Hey man, I passed your house the other day"
QuarterBack "Wow, what an arm!"

 

[G1keO]

"Man its raining cats and dogs out there"

"Yea, I know I just stepped in a poodle!"

 

[G1keO]

why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

 

[G1keO]

two men walk into a bar... the third one ducks

 

[G1keO]

I have tons of these if you haven't noticed

How do you tell a cow to get out of the way? "Moooooove along"

 

[G1keO]

What does a dyslexic cow say: Ooooooom
What does a dyslexic sheep say: Aaaaaab
What does a dyslexic snake say: Sssssssssss

 

[G1keO]

One cow says to another "Moooo"
other one says "Man I was just about to say that"
First one laughs so hard milk came out of its nose.

 

[G1keO]

Knock, Knock,
Whos there
Impatient cow
Impatien-
Moooooooo!

 

[G1keO]

Did you know that over 8/7 of college students dont understand fractions

 

[G1keO]

Did you know that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. (like this one)

 

[G1keO]

what did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper?

"Ruff"

 

[G1keO]

So there are two fish in a tank, one says to the other one "hey man, do you even know how to drive this thing?"

 

[G1keO]

there are two muffins in an oven, one says to the other one "Man its hot in here" other one says "Ahhhhh! talking muffin!"

 

[G1keO]

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:
"HEBREWS"

 

[G1keO]

when was the first baseball game?

Genesis 1:1
In the big Inning!

 

[G1keO]

did you know Jesus drove a car?

"And he and the disciples were all in one accord"

 

[G1keO]

what did the evil chicken lay?

Deviled eggs