Ladies I need an answer

[72_Chev_Truck]

Last night I had it on my heart to write a letter. I really dont know why and I dont really know if im supposed to give this letter to this girl. currently she is having boy problems and it hurts me to see her cry and just let me know what you would say if you recieved this letter.


In the day I think about you and in the night I dream of you. As I settle for my time of quiet I try to pray away the feelings I have. Continually asking God to take away what is not from him. But everyday I think of you, wishing to be with you, to take your hand and walk with you. I can see the pain of your broken heart in your beautiful blue eyes. Your face frowns as you think and feel of dieing inside. Oh but these last 2 years have been a trip.... the ups and downs, I was with you through them all. I prayed for you for the pain to go away. I would do anything to help remove the arrows in your heart. It pains me to feel this in my heart but yet I cannot tell you. I would take a bullet so that you could live on, to show God's love to others, to let your light glow from within. God has blessed you with beauty but some days you dont see it when you look into the mirror. Oh to be that mirror, to tell you that you are beautiful each day. Beautiful from your flowing blonde hair to your toes adorned with silver and gold. Oh to see that smile shine through in all this pain would be a blessing from above. I want to tell you to look for love right in ront of you. I would give my all to you so that you would never again shed a tear of sadness. Everytime I think of you it seems as if God keeps telling me that your the one but I must be patient. Patience is one thing im not well at but with you, I could wait years. I prayed that our hearts would be changed if that was his plan.... The letter to the woman I love, who doesnt know.




What would you ladies say to this letter?

 

[fieldmouse3]

It's very nice, but it would depend on who sent it to me if I thought it was touching or scary. Probably not much help...sorry!

 

[KeilCoppes]

Hi 72 - I'm trying to remember - are you also on a christian weight-lifting site? It's been a long time since I've seen you go by.

As a guy, I'd say she'd think you were hitting on her majorly. Possibly not helpful in the current situation - it all depends. If she's local, talking in person and just listening is a good thing.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

keil, no im not on the weight lifting site



She is a very good friend of mine, she is local, I just hate to see her this way. but like i said i dont know if ill give it to her. I really dont know why i wrote it though. I havnt written anything meaningful in quite some time, so why now? that i dont know... best left up to God to decide.

 

[KeilCoppes]

keil, no im not on the weight lifting site

Must have been here, then.

You know, 72 - when I write things like that, it's because I simply have to get them out. The times I've been the wisest I've not sent them and simply saved them for the future. The times I have sent touching things it was just too much, even when they were asked for. What's inside will come out, but writing it makes it worlds more intense.

Most people can't handle that in real life, no matter how they would dream of it - real life and ideal dreams don't mix well - in the end you have to make dreams based on reality. I really would hang off on this one - it would be a wise thing to do.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hi Chevy! Good to see you in here again!

That is certainly a touching letter that would probably be very flattering to any girl who would receive it. However, you describe the girl you intend to receive it as going through some boy problems at the current moment and she has no idea how you feel. I am thinking this may not be the right time for this letter. This may very well overwhelm here, to the point where she backs away from you. I would advise hanging on to what you have written (because it does seem to come from your heart) and give her a chance to straighten out her present situation with the current fellow. Once it gets determined, then you will know how to proceed.

Here are some things to think about: What if you gave it to her, and she decides to stay with the guy she is with now? How will that effect you? What if you gave it to her and she admits she likes you to, but you have the complication of current boyfriend, which pulls her in two different directions? What if you gave it to her and she does not return your feelings? My opinion is to let her sort out the problems she is in now, and then let those decisions guide you in how you want to proceed with letting her know how you feel.

 

[Injured Soldier]

I'm not a lady, but I would agree with what is said previously, it may be kinda scary. Hold onto it for now.

But that shouldn't stop you encouraging your lady friend through her troubles with a letter! Just don't send this one. From my experience (yes I learnt this the hard way) writing letters, especially to a girl you like or is going through a hard time, should read to her like a negotiator to a criminal with hostages. Keep it light and encouraging, don't mention the fact you are waiting for her just outside the building (and could wait for years), and whatever you do don't mention dying! By all means mention those traits she has that make you smile, don't mention you think about them every waking moment and even some dreaming moments. Do not try to spiritualise the possible relationship (as in "Everytime I think of you it seems as if God keeps telling me that your the one"), that's going to put pressure on her whether she wants a relationship with you or not. The furthest you should go in mentioning God is thanking Him that He's allowed you to know her, trusting Him for the future and any evidence you see of it in her life. I realise God is a big part of every Christian's life here, He looms large in my life too. Just don't hold him hostage to get what you want (not saying you are either, but it would sound like it if you sent the letter).

You're a good man Chevy. I'll be praying for you and your lady friend, whatever you decide to do. Keep us posted about how things turn out, mate.

 

[KeilCoppes]

should read to her like a negotiator to a criminal with hostages. Keep it light and encouraging, don't mention the fact you are waiting for her just outside the building (and could wait for years),...

My apologies, 72, but something IS said struck an odd impression...

"I know you're in there, we have the building surrounded! Come out with your hands up! We have arms and we're ready to use them! There's no escape!"

Not the best message to send when she's been shot at and wounded. That's not what she needs either. What she needs now is a christian brother really dedicated to her good without seeking benefit to himself, encouraging her rather than pursuing her. Any peice of pursuing her and you stand great possibility of destroying the aid you would want to give her. The best thing you can do is put it on the shelf for at least a month now and help her. If you can't truly put it on the shelf and let it entirely go for a month, then you probably need to stay out of the way and get others to help her.

 

[CRitabe]

 Not the best message to send when she's been shot at and wounded.

I love this!! From a female perspective, you are exactly right too. Women who have been wounded usually do not want to deal with another potential "wounder" right off the bat and we have a tendency when we are hurting to stereotype all men as such.

Regardless of how much you care about her, if she is that distraught over what has happened in her recent relationship, she most likely cared about the "cad" a good deal. Give her Space!! that would be my advice.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

Im glad that you all agree that not giving the letter to her is a good plan... I dont think I could possibly bring myself to send it. She is my best friend and we hang out quite often. As far as her space im letting her do the calling instead of me, and when I do call i often ask with no pressure kinda questions. like Hey i was thinkin bout going for a bike ride and was wonderin if you wanted to come with. kinda things like that. I really dont understand why I care about her so much. Maybe its cuz she was the only one that took the chance on me 2 years ago. I wasnt a christian then... i only went to this campus ministry thing to meet some ladies and they were missing a drummer so i ended up hooking up with this group and through her actions and our talks she led me to Christ. anywho..... as Keil was saying earlier about having something strongly on your heart and being able to write it down as an extension of the mind. kinda like adding more space in your computer so it doesnt have to think as hard.


wvmtkid... it has been quite some time since ive posted in singles ministry and im glad ya missed me!

 

[Raanan]

Must have been here, then.

You know, 72 - when I write things like that, it's because I simply have to get them out. The times I've been the wisest I've not sent them and simply saved them for the future. The times I have sent touching things it was just too much, even when they were asked for. What's inside will come out, but writing it makes it worlds more intense.

Most people can't handle that in real life, no matter how they would dream of it - real life and ideal dreams don't mix well - in the end you have to make dreams based on reality. I really would hang off on this one - it would be a wise thing to do.

I strongly... I disagree with every ounce of my being about your assertion we make our dreams based off of real life. Oh how I wish people wouldn't do that! We are children of God! Heirs to the kingdom of God! Warriors of Jesus whom told us we would do greater things then him! We, are the rightful rulers of this world and it is we, who make the world what it is! Our dreams, our desires, should not be based off a world tainted but off of our perfect and incomparable Jesus! As C.S. Lewis points out to us, our problem is not that we desire but that we desire too little! Truly, the only way for us to show our fellows what true passion and the intensity it produces is, is to be intensly passionate!

For what I said above, I have to say, don't stifle your inspiring passion, 72. Don't for the love of our savior! Everything in your letter may not be what's best to be said but surely not all of it. Reminding her of how you've been with her through it all, how you'll continue to be with her, letting her know you're hurt that she's hurt. How can such a thing be good to keep from her? As God reveals truth to us as it is best for us, follow his example and reveal the truth as it is best for her. Just don't stifle yourself! As your brother in Christ, I say what I say.

 

[Iggster]

The timing would totally be off. I don't think she wants to hear it right now. But I'm not saying you should not give it either. I think you should say to her what's on your mind. But only when her wounds have mended.

Ever try to pick up a wounded bumble bee with your bare fingers? That's what you're about to do, if you give it now. Best to let her have her time with the Lord for wounds to heal.

 

[MzManda]

wow, i think ya'll covered everything quite well. But yeah, another man in her life probably isn't what she needs right now, but do continue praying for her and gently encouraging her

 

[Living4Him03]

Sometimes it's good to write a letter like that even if you will never actually give it to her, or at least not right now. It's good to be able to express those feelings somehow. If it's God's will have patience and wait on the Lord. Giving her that letter just might confuse her or she may not know how to respond. It sounds like she still needs you to be a friend to her while she is healing from this previous relationship that brought her so much pain. If you truly love her, you will do what you believe is in her best interests, as much as you want to tell her how you feel.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

Welp Tonight I wrote her a different letter. a letter to encourage her in the pain shes going through. I dropped it off at her apt and she should be coming home soon so ill get a call tonight provided she gets back tonight.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

UPDATE....

So it seems that being a nice guy is a complete waste of time guys... she didnt say anything about the letter, not a thank you, or that was nice... NOTHING. that sets my girl situation in stone for a while... just sours me on it all.

 

[Cjwinnit]

UPDATE....

So it seems that being a nice guy is a complete waste of time guys... she didnt say anything about the letter, not a thank you, or that was nice... NOTHING. that sets my girl situation in stone for a while... just sours me on it all.

I wouldn't get too wound up on it, could have been bad timing.

 

[CRitabe]

Give her some time to ponder the jerk who "shot at and wounded her" and she will be ready to talk to a nice guy that wouldn't do such things. Patience!! You never know, God might be working something out in her life so that she can have happiness later. Hang in there.