Ladies: Do you ever catch other women flirting with your husband?

[Redguard]

And if so... how do you handle the situation?

Do you sit back and allow him to dismiss the woman? Or do you start screaming and go chasing after with woman with a knife?

And what do you consider "flirting" on the part of women?

 

[Redguard]

The discussion took place here at work earlier this morning among the women. They say that a lot of men are clueless when it comes to the ways that women flirt with them. They say that when a woman touches a man's shoulder... she's flirting. When she offers him produce (like fruit or vegetables), she's flirting. When she compliments his car... she's flirting.

Thoughts?

 

[andiesmama]

I don't know....I think I'm more laid back than most people I guess. If somebody's flirting with my DH, I just sit back & watch....I'm of the school "What's a little harmless flirting? I know he's coming home to me!" Plus, I think it strokes the ego a little bit, too! Both of DH and myself...me, because another gal sees my DH as attractive as I do!

Then I give him a hard time about it, tell him that she better keep her hands of my man or else! lol It's just not that big a deal to me....

 

[Lena75]

Oh! LOL! I remember when my hubby and I were first dating. This girl who'd had HER eye on MY man walks right up to him and starts talking...right in his face, yanno? Flat out flirted. Well, I'd been in the bathroom and when I came out, she saw me and I gave her *the glare*. I was mad. My face went red and everything. So I just went up to him for the very first time (since we only just started dating) and put my arm around him and almost gave him a smooch! (would've been the first for one of those, too!) Of course, hubby was sitting there like duh...he didn't even realize that she was flirting! I'd asked him about it and he goes, "Wha?" I have given him lessons on "flirting". When a woman is flat out staring at him, I glare at her FOR him. Half the time he don't even notice!

 

[andiesmama]

Half the time he don't even notice!

Right...that's why I just sit back & watch because my DH is so oblivious (or at least really good at making me THINK he is...hmmmm ).

 

[Redguard]

So, does the fact that a woman is "talking" to your man constitute flirting? Or does the subject matter of the conversation come into play? Or body language?

 

[amapele]

I guess I'm pretty laid back too. I find it pretty flattering and exciting when another woman finds my husband attractive. Kind of get the thoughts of "yeah, he's stunning...and he's mine." It's a pride thing, I guess. It helps too, that he's of the "oblivious" school that others have mentioned. He doesn't notice. If he did, and was flirting back, that's when they would all see a side of me that they would wish would never show her face again.

But for the most part, the flirting that goes on is harmless, it's not hurting our relationship, and if some woman wants to drool over my man, I'll probably pull up a chair beside her and start drooling with her. And then gloat, because he goes home with me.

 

[andiesmama]

So, does the fact that a woman is "talking" to your man constitute flirting? Or does the subject matter of the conversation come into play? Or body language?

No, not just "talking"....if that was the case, then I'd have to assume his assistant is flirting with him all day at work! Not to mention the various women at the job sites...lol

Subject matter, but more body language I think for me....the subject matter can be something totally innocent like weather, but if a woman is leaning in, touching him on the arm or leg, stuff like that....then I consider THAT to be flirting!!

 

[Lena75]

Body language, the intensity of the conversation. Especially with HER doing the talking... especially reaching to touch his hand...BIG no-no.

 

[MesaBoogieGrl]

I personally think it's hilarious when a girl flirts with DH. It often happens at restaurants. He's very nice and polite to the waitress (or in one case the waiter!) and she starts fawning over him. They'll call him "Sweetie" or "Honey," put their hand on the back of his chair and lean in...a lot. One waitress neglected my empty glass for ten minutes, but gave him 3 refills. I sit back and watch the whole exchange and as soon as she leaves, I just look at DH with one eyebrow cocked and a look on my face like I'm barely holding it together (laughing, not crying). When he finally says, "What?" I start laughing and do all the things she just did in a very exaggerated way. He gets a little embarrased and admits that he didn't realize she was flirting, but he thinks it's funny too. Can't tell you how often this has happened. Very entertaining.

 

[Lena75]

I personally think it's hilarious when a girl flirts with DH. It often happens at restaurants. He's very nice and polite to the waitress (or in one case the waiter!) and she starts fawning over him. They'll call him "Sweetie" or "Honey," put their hand on the back of his chair and lean in...a lot. One waitress neglected my empty glass for ten minutes, but gave him 3 refills. I sit back and watch the whole exchange and as soon as she leaves, I just look at DH with one eyebrow cocked and a look on my face like I'm barely holding it together (laughing, not crying). When he finally says, "What?" I start laughing and do all the things she just did in a very exaggerated way. He gets a little embarrased and admits that he didn't realize she was flirting, but he thinks it's funny too. Can't tell you how often this has happened. Very entertaining.

Wanna know what's disgusting? A male waiter did that to my husband!

 

[Redguard]

But here's my thought...

Wouldn't it be kind of conceited if every time a woman spoke to me and was:

a) laughing
b) saying, "Oh really? Tell me more!"
c) touching me, whether it's on my arm or back

... I said, "Oh she must be flirting with me!"

Is it really a case that the guys are oblivious to this flirting, or are they just trying not to think that every woman who speaks to them in a certain way must find them hot?

 

[MesaBoogieGrl]

Wanna know what's disgusting? A male waiter did that to my husband!

Yeah! Like I said it's happened to us too...at a Cracker Barrel no less! I was howling with laughter after I saw that the waiter had drawn a smiley face on the ticket after flirting the whole time we were there. The waiter practically ignored me, but couldn't do enough for DH.

 

[Lena75]

Yeah! Like I said it's happened to us too...at a Cracker Barrel no less! I was howling with laughter after I saw that the waiter had drawn a smiley face on the ticket after flirting the whole time we were there. The waiter practically ignored me, but couldn't do enough for DH.

Gross! Isn't it? I had to hide my smile too. After the waiter left, I told hubby that that guy had totally hit on him! He says, "Yeah, he kinda noticed." Shoulda seen hubby when it came to pay and then leave! He was so embarrassed. Also at a drive thru at Tim Hortons. The guy at the window was just STARING at him....LOL!

 

[LynnMcG]

Funny you should ask...she just called, again.

I posted about this problem in another area of the boards earlier today. Basically, there's a woman from AA who won't leave my husband alone. She calls and asks him if he needs rides to meetings, which is stupid because we have a brand new car. Then the other night, when he refused a ride she got REALLY irritated and gave him an earful at the meeting. He's told her again and again to stop calling. Her sponsor told her to stop calling. And just as I was opening this thread, my husband said she called again!

This time she called crying about her husband or soon to be ex. The thing is, what bothers me, is that she may have emotional/psychological issues that could make her dangerous. My husband is trying to be nice, which I think is encouraging her. He tells her not to call and I've asked him not to speak to her. But he said he can't be a jerk.

I don't want to be the one to say something to her, even though we've talked in the past. I'm afraid if I say something, it's going to come across like the jealous wife and she's going to dig in further.

I'm very frustrated.

 

[Oblivious]

I personally think it's hilarious when a girl flirts with DH.

That's how I am too. It's always interesting and entertaining to watch.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

And if so... how do you handle the situation?

Do you sit back and allow him to dismiss the woman? Or do you start screaming and go chasing after with woman with a knife?

This happened just a couple weeks ago. Hubby and I were at a get-together with his colleagues, and there weren't enough chairs to go around, so hubby and I were standing together. After a few minutes, this very pretty woman he works with, who was sitting on the other side of the room, said to me, "Here, take my chair." I said no, but she kept insisting, and saying she wanted to stand. Feeling I had no choice, I went and sat down. She then took my place standing next to my husband, and she had the whole body-language thing going on. I was annoyed, but did nothing. After a minute or so, hubby excused himself and came over and stood behind my chair and started playing with my hair. He's a good guy.

I think it's up to him to dismiss a flirting woman. If I had done or said anything, I would have looked insecure and unreasonable. It was far better to just watch and see what he would do. It means a lot more if he's the one to dismiss her anyway! The way he handled the situation meant a lot to me.

I guess if he would have stayed there and flirted back, maybe a knife would have looked good then.

 

[alwaysyoung]

Harmless flirting is comical and okay with me...beyond that I'd take it outside. No one's touching my man.

Redguard, are you a super hot stud always being flirted with? Mmmm, some people's troubles. Poor, poor Redguard.
I think you'd be able to tell if a woman is flirting with you by her body language and tone of voice...if she talks to you a little sweeter than she does to others.
Good luck fighting off the women!
Lisa

 

[Oblivious]

Harmless flirting is comical and okay with me...beyond that I'd take it outside. No one's touching my man.

I agree with you. Touching is a no-no and could result in serious injury to the "flirter".

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

Well, if the woman is laughing too much at his jokes, playing with her hair too much, making an obvious effort to try to converse with him a lot, straightening his tie, etc. THat is all no-no stuff. I would want hubby to dismiss her. Hubby is not real outgoing though, so if he seemed like he was having trouble getting rid of her, I would want to get over there and get real flirty and mushy with him in her face. I would really like him to smile politely as he firmly removed her hand from his shoulder, or say,"No, thanks," when offered a snack etc.