Lack of consequences

[Gentle Lamb]

Is it just me or is there a general lack of any sort of consequences for children's behaviors in the school system? I've worked in so many different schools and it kills me to see that no sort of realistic consequences, such as a loss of playtime or losing the right to do a class job, are being implemented to help kids learn not to continue doing things they shouldn't. I've seen kids hurt each other badly and on purpose, I've seen them be incredibly disrespectful to teachers and peers, I've seen them do all sorts of crazy things that they have gotten away with except for a little lecture and being told "Don't do that!" I feel undermined when I try to implement things and I see others rewarding kids with hugs and treats when those same children exhibited incredibly negative behaviors throughout the day. Are there any parents out there who have been undermined in trying to provide structure and discipline for their kids? How did you deal with it? I'm not a parent, I'm just a teacher but I desire the best for my students and these behavioral issues kill me because I know it will cause deeper problems as the children grow up! I can't imagine being undermined this way as a parent. I grew up in the 90s, and as I reflect on my education I am more and more appreciative of how often my peers and I were disciplined for acting badly. Today as an adult, I have the discipline that my educators worked hard to instill in me, and that discipline has even helped me in my walk with Christ! It kills me that I can't pass on this discipline to my students because of the unstructured environments that I work in where discipline is not valued.

 

[RDKirk]

My daughter was sexually harassed by both students and female teachers, and we could not get anything done about it. She witnessed boys being sexually harassed by bigger boys in the halls with teachers watching, and nothing done about it.

And that was in the city university "laboratory" school with a controlled "invitation-only" attendance.

 

[Albion]

From what I hear from teachers, the problem you refer to is now the norm.

 

[Pop D.]

I hear it's the same in the schools around where I live too.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Discipline is really up to parents, isn't it? In truth, some parents are quite effective at holding their children accountable, and others not so much. It sounds as if OP may have a problem with consistency of response within in her own school system which is yet a different problem that can only be addressed by those in the system.

On the other hand, I have long been a critic of the other side of the coin: (a) stupid and arbitrary school rules and (b) zero-tolerance policies. For example, when I was a child, wearing blue jeans to school was grounds for suspension for being disruptive to education. Look around at how kids dress now; turns out they can still learn in blue jeans. My oldest son was suspended for being caught with a beeper on his way to his car in the parking lot after school. His brother nine years younger could take his cell phone to class. Go figure.

I was once called before a kangaroo court of 5 teachers (my child's entire academic team) for my middle schooler's 3rd behavior offence as required by school policy. The first two offences were talking during class. The third offence triggering my being called from work was possession of chewing gum. After supporting the teachers and the importance of rule following while my child was in the room, I asked him to be excused for a private chat. At that time, I shared how I felt as a taxpayer about the waste of their time and professional expertise and my tax payer dollars for 5 professional salaries to be tied up for 30 minutes over the high crime of possession of chewing gum. And, I made it pretty clear that the next time they called me away from work for a school conference it better be for something more serious than chewing gum possession. They never called me again for my honor roll student.

Zero-tolerance policies fail to consider the individual such as what were mitigating circumstances, what is the best response to the child, how likely is something to happen again, etc. Life is not one-size-fits all. In my clients, I've seen lives damaged by the adverse effect of one-size-fits-all, zero-tolerance and I am not a fan.

Both parents and schools need to apply a little more common sense in disciplining children.

 

[com7fy8]

I've worked in so many different schools and it kills me to see that no sort of realistic consequences, such as a loss of playtime or losing the right to do a class job, are being implemented to help kids learn not to continue doing things they shouldn't.

My opinion is a child needs play time and social time; so I am not sure that would be a thing to take away, as a punishment.

And I am not sure if losing a job would be the best thing.

But perhaps you could have something going, in which there is a connection between good behavior and more play time and socializing, and more desirable responsibility.

And . . . oh-oh . . . how about if you talk personally with a problem child and talk about how he or she is getting away with things and this is not good for him or her? That might not sink in, got that But . . .

In any case . . . your good example can be used by God.