Knight in Shinning Armor?

Created2Write · Nov 17, 2011

So it seems the term "knight in shinning armor" means pretty much what "husband" means to others. That's perfectly fine. I'm just very romantic in the fairytale kind of way and so is he, believe it or not. Our favorite movies are Disney movies.

I'm actually in the process of converting our story into a fairytale so that only makes my appreciation for his "knightness" even stronger.

Niffer, I loved your story! That's exactly what I'm talking about.

dallasapple · Nov 17, 2011

chaz345 said:
Me too. Sadly many women, either from experience or from attitudes absorbed from society believe such men to be incredibly rare.

Well Im not one of them..my husband LITTERALLY saved my life..I was drowning in the Gulf of Mexico..in a rip tide..with 30 feet of water below me...he risked his own life..swam out to get me..and pulled himself and me back to shore..I was in the "drowning stance" already I had stopped swimming and was going under..then back up for air..under back up for air and was beign dragged back with ever wave further adn further out to sea.....but it wasnt a 'knight in shining armor" who saved me..it was my HUSBAND who saved me..he neednt be a "knight' to risk his safety and to have mustered up the incredible strenght in must have taken to save me.."just' my husband..being brave and loving..no need to say it was "more" than that or to give him a made up title....becasue as far as Im concerend thats too incredible to try and "fix" with any other words than what it was..my HUSBAND saving me ...

Dallas

Created2Write · Nov 17, 2011

Dallas, no one has said that anyone's husband has to be anything. Your husband did a courageous thing.

My husband saved me from drowning on our honeymoon. I was caught by the wall of a wave pool. I'm short, barely five feet tall, and the waves caught me off guard. I was sucked to the deep end where the waves have no pattern to follow. Every time I tried to take a breath of air at the top of a wave, I took in a gulp of water instead. He saw me struggling and moved towards me as fast as he could, grabbed me by the waist and lifted me into the air and then walked with me back to shallow end.

I've called him my knight in armor ever since. You don't have to call your husband anything you don't want to. No one is saying you're less of a wife for preferring "husband". For me though, the rest of our honeymoon I saw my husband as a knight in shinning armor because he'd saved me.

hijklmnop · Nov 17, 2011

Created2Write said:
Okay...not really what I asked, but okay.

I need Jesus too, as we all do. But I also need my husband. Not because I'm a helpless woman in desperate need of his help, and certainly not in the same way I need Christ. But I do need him. I need him emotionally, I need him sexually, I need him conversationally, I need him physically, I need him intimately. Jesus is the most important need in my life, as only He can fulfill me. But I do need my husband and I'm not ashamed to say so.

My husband, to answer my own question, is my super hero, my Prince and my Knight for many reasons. Mainly, God used him to bring me to a place where I was willing to trust again. God is my Savior, but Jason is my hero, my Knight. And it's not that the role of husband isn't good enough or special enough. But Jason is so much more than that to me. "Husband" while incredibly important and special, is only the surface of what Jason is to me.

Er, okay, then to answer your question more directly, no, I do not see my husband as my hero or my knight in shining armour. Fairy tales are cute but nothing more to me. In real life we are equals, we are both fallible and sinful humans who are doing our best. I love him very, very much but I don't put him on a pedestal. I reserve that spot for Christ and Christ alone.

hijklmnop · Nov 17, 2011

dallasapple said:
I went through a real freaky stage one time when I called my husband Mulder and I asked him to call me Scully...(from the XFiles)..poor thing reluctantly did..I would say Hey Mulder???and he would go ..um..yeah/?and I woud say NO say "yeah Scully" and he woud go O.K "yeah Scully"???

Dallas

LOL!!! You should get yourself a red bob wig and have a fun time!

sdmsanjose · Nov 18, 2011

If you're a guy reading this, does your wife see you as extra special like her hero or Prince? Or just a regular guy she loves a lot?

Both. But before I explain I want to post a few posts below that will help me explain

By Created
My husband, to answer my own question, is my super hero, my Prince and my Knight for many reasons. Mainly, God used him to bring me to a place where I was willing to trust again. God is my Savior, but Jason is my hero, my Knight. And it's not that the role of husband isn't good enough or special enough. But Jason is so much more than that to me. "Husband" while incredibly important and special, is only the surface of what Jason is to me.

By Dallas
And yes Im "capable" that doesnt mean I dont cherish and value having a husband.Having a husband is deeply a part of me..part of my identity..a VITAL statistic..I dont have a 'knight"..I have a husband and that says it all..no need for me to embellish..To SHARE my life with me is what I married for...to gain a husband(not "just) .. and not a knight to rescue me.

By Niffer
Okay, seriously though, I do believe that men need to feel like their wife's "hero."
Just like most women need that emotional intimate connection, most men need to know that they're respected and admired by their wives.
And most men really do desire to be the "knight in shining armor' to their wives.

So I make sure every so often to just say something like: "I just want you to know how admired you are, and how much I respect you."
It's not much, it's not mushy, or even romantic.
But it really fills that need for him, and he acts like I just gave him the best compliment in the world.

Created seems to be a romantic in a fairytale way
Dallas seems to be very practical
Niffer seems to be very supportive and nourishing

Actually all three are supportive and nourishing it is just that Niffer nailed the words. I mean she just hit the right words to say to support most men that I know.

Ok now for my answer in more detail.

In our dating and the early part of our marriage my wife was more like Created and that really helped me a lot. To use a phrase from a comedy that jack Nicolson was in, “You make me want to be a better man” Yea, I know it sounds corny but for me it is true and I have thanked my wife more than once for being like Created.

After the very early years my wife was more like Niffer. That kind of support gives you the strength to face the crap you get in the world and keeps you from starting to doubt yourself.

Like Dallas I am a little older than most on this board and that is when the practical realities of life are needed most. Yes, my wife is a vital part of me, my identity as I am for her. A lot of the worldly excitement that got my attention no longer is very exciting. I now put more value on having someone to share life with. Who better than the woman who has been by your side for decades and with you brought children into the world?

When my wife was like Created she made me feel “Like the King of the World”.

When my wife was like Niffer I was able to overcome adversity better with her help.

When my wife was like Dallas I realized that we are connected for a lifetime and that we enjoy sharing our life together.

Now I am going to borrow a little from practical Dallas. After decades of marriage life cannot be constantly sustained with all the wonderful things that I said above even though they are true most or some of the time. There are times in my marriage when none of the above is happening.

However I will close with this.

Created
You keep on seeing your husband as your knight in shinning armor; I think that every man loves that. That kind of spice in life adds so much!

Niffer
You will keep your man prepared to overcome adversity; you may not even know how valuable you are in your ways of helping your husband

Dallas
Your practical viewpoint helps to sustain a marriage for the long haul. Your principle of commitment is the rock of Gibraltar of marriage.

My wife has been Created, Niffer, and Dallas and that has contributed to our 42 years of marriage.

Stan

dallasapple · Nov 18, 2011

Now I am going to borrow a little from practical Dallas. After decades of marriage life cannot be constantly sustained with all the wonderful things that I said above even though they are true most or some of the time. There are times in my marriage when none of the above is happening.

Well I can learn from you too...because I hate to say it..but you have been married almost as long as I am old..LOL!!(Im 43 I'll be 44 in a couple months)..Similar to the younger ones than me..I think they are as old as I have been married..so its kind of neat..Anyway...I HOPE I never "feel" that is gone.. ..that I described the "connection " of life together..but it helps to KNOW that a wonderful person like you and how wonderful your wife sounds...can experience that "none of the above" and still come out smelling like a rose..So one thing I can continue to embrace is 'hope'..

Love ,faith and hope..the GREATEST is LOVE...but lets not KNOCK HOPE!

Dallas

dallasapple · Nov 18, 2011

No one is saying you're less of a wife for preferring "husband". For me though, the rest of our honeymoon I saw my husband as a knight in shinning armor because he'd saved me.

No..no..Im not sayign I think Im less of a wife at all..dont get me wrong..its not about preference either..its a fact.My husband IS my husband LOL!!..Its not "preference"..and that makes me his WIFE ...so how could calling him my husband which would make me his WIFE possibly make me "less" of one..?

And as to the rescue..my husband was in the OCEAN in a dangerous rip tide..many people drown in these waters every year..so what he IS ..is a BRAVE courageous MAN who loved me enough..to RISK HIS OWN LIFE to save me.I was in TEACHEROUS WATERS...SEASONED SWIMMERS CAN DROWN IN THE SITUATION I WAS IN AND MY HUSBAND PUT HIMSELF IN ..FOR ME..which makes me PROUD to call him my husband..My brave and STRONG HUSBAND saved my life..Not my "knight"..thats the only distinguisher..I choose to acknowledge it was HIM my husband who saved me..NOT a knight.Which isnt a 'preference' its a FACT..LOL!!!

Dallas

Conservativation · Nov 18, 2011

Wow....I recommend men stop any and all assistance to women, its offensive, it creates the idea they cant do it themselves, and since we are equal, perfectly exactly equal, it seems best to not protect her or assist her, because if she was being attacked by some guy, she is equal and can defend herself, if she was harmed then, it would be a virtue that the husband didnt deign step in because for some reason to consider a husband for protection sometimes is to violate the one rule that cannot be violated, and that is there are no differences in genders and best not let any notion that there is creep into thinking, because it seems a lot of folks process the word "difference" as meaning one better than the other.

The process by which society rots accelerates. A society where men chose to not be in any way protective is a very vulnerable one....well, no it isn't, because the women can manage themselves.

Athene · Nov 18, 2011

Conservativation said:
Wow....I recommend men stop any and all assistance to women, its offensive, it creates the idea they cant do it themselves, and since we are equal, perfectly exactly equal, it seems best to not protect her or assist her, because if she was being attacked by some guy, she is equal and can defend herself, if she was harmed then, it would be a virtue that the husband didnt deign step in because for some reason to consider a husband for protection sometimes is to violate the one rule that cannot be violated, and that is there are no differences in genders and best not let any notion that there is creep into thinking, because it seems a lot of folks process the word "difference" as meaning one better than the other.

The process by which society rots accelerates. A society where men chose to not be in any way protective is a very vulnerable one....well, no it isn't, because the women can manage themselves.

Who said this?

Conservativation · Nov 18, 2011

I did

Athene · Nov 18, 2011

Niffer · Nov 18, 2011

sdmsanjose said:
Both. But before I explain I want to post a few posts below that will help me explain

Created seems to be a romantic in a fairytale way
Dallas seems to be very practical
Niffer seems to be very supportive and nourishing

Actually all three are supportive and nourishing it is just that Niffer nailed the words. I mean she just hit the right words to say to support most men that I know.

Ok now for my answer in more detail.

In our dating and the early part of our marriage my wife was more like Created and that really helped me a lot. To use a phrase from a comedy that jack Nicolson was in, You make me want to be a better man Yea, I know it sounds corny but for me it is true and I have thanked my wife more than once for being like Created.

After the very early years my wife was more like Niffer. That kind of support gives you the strength to face the crap you get in the world and keeps you from starting to doubt yourself.

Like Dallas I am a little older than most on this board and that is when the practical realities of life are needed most. Yes, my wife is a vital part of me, my identity as I am for her. A lot of the worldly excitement that got my attention no longer is very exciting. I now put more value on having someone to share life with. Who better than the woman who has been by your side for decades and with you brought children into the world?

When my wife was like Created she made me feel Like the King of the World.

When my wife was like Niffer I was able to overcome adversity better with her help.

When my wife was like Dallas I realized that we are connected for a lifetime and that we enjoy sharing our life together.

Now I am going to borrow a little from practical Dallas. After decades of marriage life cannot be constantly sustained with all the wonderful things that I said above even though they are true most or some of the time. There are times in my marriage when none of the above is happening.

However I will close with this.

Created
You keep on seeing your husband as your knight in shinning armor; I think that every man loves that. That kind of spice in life adds so much!

Niffer
You will keep your man prepared to overcome adversity; you may not even know how valuable you are in your ways of helping your husband

Dallas
Your practical viewpoint helps to sustain a marriage for the long haul. Your principle of commitment is the rock of Gibraltar of marriage.

My wife has been Created, Niffer, and Dallas and that has contributed to our 42 years of marriage.

Stan

Thank you for your wonderful post.
I see a lot of wisdom, compassion and understanding in your words.
We need more of that in this forum.

Peace,
-Niffer

Niffer · Nov 18, 2011

Conservativation said:
Wow....I recommend men stop any and all assistance to women, its offensive, it creates the idea they cant do it themselves, and since we are equal, perfectly exactly equal, it seems best to not protect her or assist her, because if she was being attacked by some guy, she is equal and can defend herself, if she was harmed then, it would be a virtue that the husband didnt deign step in because for some reason to consider a husband for protection sometimes is to violate the one rule that cannot be violated, and that is there are no differences in genders and best not let any notion that there is creep into thinking, because it seems a lot of folks process the word "difference" as meaning one better than the other.

The process by which society rots accelerates. A society where men chose to not be in any way protective is a very vulnerable one....well, no it isn't, because the women can manage themselves.

Cons, I don't really see anyone here making that statement or argument.
In fact the last few pages have been stories about 'heroic' husbands who have literally 'saved' their wives.
I don't know which post sent you into defensive-mode, but don't let one post you don't like, colour an entire thread.

Peace brother,
- Niffer

Athene · Nov 18, 2011

In the UK, our knights are predominantly middle-aged men. They usually get knighted for being very rich. It's hard to be romantic about knights when the first thing that springs to mind when you think of one is Sir Richard Branson or Sir Alan Sugar, or Sir Winston Churchill.

Sailor_A · Nov 18, 2011

Athene said:
In the UK, our knights are predominantly middle-aged men. They usually get knighted for being very rich. It's hard to be romantic about knights when the first thing that springs to mind when you think of one is Sir Richard Branson or Sir Alan Sugar, or Sir Winston Churchill.

lol maybe that is the reason I find it hard to identify with the knight love.

Autumnleaf · Nov 18, 2011

Athene said:
In the UK, our knights are predominantly middle-aged men. They usually get knighted for being very rich. It's hard to be romantic about knights when the first thing that springs to mind when you think of one is Sir Richard Branson or Sir Alan Sugar, or Sir Winston Churchill.

What about the dashing and impetuous Sir Elton John? Can't you feel the love tonight?

hijklmnop · Nov 18, 2011

Autumnleaf said:
What about the dashing and impetuous Sir Elton John? Can't you feel the love tonight?

LOL

Paul McCartney's the first knight that sprang to my mind.

hijklmnop · Nov 18, 2011

Athene said:
Why?

..

hijklmnop · Nov 18, 2011

Created2Write said:
Dallas, no one has said that anyone's husband has to be anything. Your husband did a courageous thing.

My husband saved me from drowning on our honeymoon. I was caught by the wall of a wave pool. I'm short, barely five feet tall, and the waves caught me off guard. I was sucked to the deep end where the waves have no pattern to follow. Every time I tried to take a breath of air at the top of a wave, I took in a gulp of water instead. He saw me struggling and moved towards me as fast as he could, grabbed me by the waist and lifted me into the air and then walked with me back to shallow end.

I've called him my knight in armor ever since. You don't have to call your husband anything you don't want to. No one is saying you're less of a wife for preferring "husband". For me though, the rest of our honeymoon I saw my husband as a knight in shinning armor because he'd saved me.

Rarw! That's a hot way to start a honeymoon!

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