Kissing

I'm not kissing until sometime after I'm engaged, or very possibly until the altar. I've never kissed before, though I've certainly had the chance. For me, it would be too easy to let myself get carried away.

Good idea invisible.

thanks

William Nunn said:

You are making plenty of sense. And I tell you, if you can pull off your goal of not even kissing anyone until marriage - that would be AWESOME! Dude, not only because I just wish I could ever say that I was that strong - but because that will be another way you can show your wife that she is the ONLY one you want. Oh man, that is really cool Renaistre, really cool indeed. I wish you the best in saving yourself for that lucky woman!

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This left me speechless for a while (or a least post-less). I've never had such an enthusiastic response to my position. I've had a lot of people agree with me, but it seems to usually be sort of an academic agreement. I really do believe what I said in my first post, but I occationally battle the feeling that I'm missing out because I've decided to wait. You really encouraged me. Thanks.

-Evan

I believe kissing is an intimate thing. And I think it depends from person to person is right for them. For me, it's an act to show my beloved physically that I care for him (just like I hug my friends). Do I feel like I have to do it? No. It's my choice to. Is there something sexual about it? For me, no there isn't. It's a sign of love. But I've never taken it lightly and niether has my beloved. It's something special, not to be abused.

I have a question:

Do people who think it's wrong to kiss before marrige hold hands, or put their arms around each other??

Just wondering.

oh, and BTW, as for that aussie bloke who verbaly attacked my reasoning, and opinon, I've had BF's in the past, just haven't kissed them....because I didn't really feel ready.

well, i don't think kissing is wrong before marriage (unless you're talking about passionate kissing, which was designed to lead to other things.... but an innocent kiss is perfectly fine..... i'm just not doing that for awhile.... but i certainly hold hands, hug, have guys put their arm around me...

Glamgoddess said:

I have a question:

Do people who think it's wrong to kiss before marrige hold hands, or put their arms around each other??

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First of all, I think you need to make a distinction between those who think it's wrong to kiss before marrage and those who just think it's better to wait. I fall more in the second catagory than the first.

As for your question though, I'm fine with holding hands or hugging or things like that. I guess you could argue that if any physical show of affection is allowed, then "the line" is arbitrary. But I would counter that hugging, holding hands, or putting arms around each other is something that I already do in a non-romantic sense: I sometimes hug friends when I meet them, I usually hold hands when I pray, and there are times when I put my arm around someone, such as if I am praying for or trying to comfort them. Any of these actions could apply to anyone at all, from my little brother to people on my worship team, to my grandmother, to people in my college group, or to my pastor. But right now, I never kiss anyone at all. So I think one can safely claim there is a difference.

-Evan

if you want to wait until marriage to kiss, then that's your choice. it doesn't give you the right to question the integrity of others who don't.

renaistre said:

First of all, I think you need to make a distinction between those who think it's wrong to kiss before marrage and those who just think it's better to wait. I fall more in the second catagory than the first.

As for your question though, I'm fine with holding hands or hugging or things like that. I guess you could argue that if any physical show of affection is allowed, then "the line" is arbitrary. But I would counter that hugging, holding hands, or putting arms around each other is something that I already do in a non-romantic sense: I sometimes hug friends when I meet them, I usually hold hands when I pray, and there are times when I put my arm around someone, such as if I am praying for or trying to comfort them. Any of these actions could apply to anyone at all, from my little brother to people on my worship team, to my grandmother, to people in my college group, or to my pastor. But right now, I never kiss anyone at all. So I think one can safely claim there is a difference.

-Evan

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I'm in that same boat. I don't think it's necessarily WRONG to kiss before marriage, but much better to wait.

Quote:


"I'm in that same boat. I don't think it's necessarily WRONG to kiss before marriage, but much better to wait."

Pfft...yeah riiiight.


If that's true, why did you question me when I said I think it's fine to kiss before marrige, huh??

Each person finds their own limits and their own before the Lord. What is sin for one person might not be sin for another. For some they might find that the Lord calls them to not kiss, for others it might be ok.

Glamgoddess said:

Quote:


"I'm in that same boat. I don't think it's necessarily WRONG to kiss before marriage, but much better to wait."

Pfft...yeah riiiight.


If that's true, why did you question me when I said I think it's fine to kiss before marrige, huh??

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Re-read my post glamgoddess - I didn't condemn kissing before marriage. I did, however, say that it is a VERY bad idea to assume a person is "the one" because of a kiss. You made it clear yourself that before the kiss there weren't romantic feelings there for your friend/boyfriend, but you suddenly flip-flopped after he kissed you, and making decisions based on a hug/kiss/sex/physical touch of any kind, is dangerous. I think I made it pretty clear what I was talking about.

you know what, I don't care anymore, go ahead and judge me on what I told you.

I there is a much bigger story about what sort of things went on before we kissed, and how close we were beforehand, but I didn't know I was expected to tell my life story.

I'll summerise for you.

I met him in Nov '02 through my brother. After talking with him for a few months through the net, and on the phone and ocassionaly in person, he asked me out in mar '03. We dated a few more times, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go out with him as his GF, however, I often thought of him (and smiled when I did), and I asked him out for second and third dates after our first.

april 30/03' he kisses me.

Now, I met him in Nov, but we kissed just on May. I think that since we'd been non-physicaly involved for about 6 months, and I kept asking him out to go places with me, and I loved being with him and I told him this, and I often did little (romantic) things for him such as making him a special meal, or buying him little girfts, and washing his car, and such, I think I did really like him, if not love him when we kissed.

I know you said I said that there wewre no romantic feeling there before we kissed, but that;s because I only didn't tell you about the other stuff that I did, and felt for him.

I told him I loved him in july. Now, in our relationship, we rarely kiss. He kisses me on the forehead, and gives me pecks on the lips only when we are saying good-bye or on the holidays. I'm sure that this will lead to us having sex...pfft. He wouldn't do that anyway, because of his schizophrenia, which has taken away his lustful desire for sex. He doesn't even care about sex. He is a-sexual, do you understand that??

Also, I didn't think he's "the one" when we kissed, and I don't now either. I love him, and I want to be with him, but when you say, "the one" I generaly assume you are meaning I wanted to marry him after one kiss. Not true in my case. I still don't want to marry him (though it may come to that). I know that I said he is the one I wanted to be with in my first reply, but I guess I used it in the wrong way. Sorry.

The way you wrote it in your eariler post was a little misleading then.

Anywhoo, I guess that settles that. I still stand on my point that a kiss or physical touch should decide who you are romantically involved with, but if that's not your situation then this conversation is KIA!