Kids?

oop s i am too late for this thread.

I do want kids, but have opted not to have any until at least another 2 or 3 years go by. My reason for wanting them: probably the same as most females, My reason for not having them: Want to be able to better provide for them and stay at home with them for at least 2 years, can't do that now with work and school so I'll wait.

I don't want them.

Neither me nor my husband are responsible or unselfish enough to take care of a child, nor do we have the desire to (hey, at least I am honest). I don't know if God will ever change that part of us or not, but as it stands right now I would love to remain childless and Thank God my husband agrees.

I haven't really looked into it, but I wonder if it is unbiblical to not want children. Anyone know of any scripture on that? (Please don't find any...Please don't find any)

Thats me. Mixee.

I guess I would point to several things mix:

Genesis 1:27-28 - This is really God's first commandment - Be fruitful and multiply. He puts no qualifiers on it - aka it doesnt just apply to Adam and Eve or to get the population going.

Sex is by it's very nature procreative and unitive. When you try and separate these, you try and separate things the way God created them. He did this for a reason, that that which unites a husband and wife in marriage would also be that which brings forth fruit, and love. Also, it is pleasurable for a reason. Also, the procreative nature is what separates sex between a man and a woman from homosexual sex or even bestiality, which are condemned in the bible.

Ps 127:3-5 - children are a gift from God
Hos 9:10-17, Ex 23:25-26, Dt 7:13-14 - these basically outline barreness as a curse, not something wished upon one's self, etc

In the NT, Christ cursed the fruitless fig tree

In the end, I would have to say that the vows that are taken at the altar is what is being expressed in sex. Sex is, essentially, the marriage vows become flesh. When you profess vows on an altar, they involve 4 main things- a giving of the self totally, faithfully, freely, and fruitfully. If you dont plan on having kids, you are withholding your fertility, you arent giving yourself freely because you are putting conditions upon it, you are therefore not giving yourself totally, and you arent trusting that God knows best.

Contraception and abortion were not created to prevent children. Abstinance already worked for that (and if you have no self control, well, then you arent giving yourself freely because your "Yes" only means "Yes" if you can say "No."). Contraception was created so people could separate the life giving aspect of sex from its unitive/pleasurable aspect. Back in the times of ancient Egypt, they used things such as animal intestines stuffed inside the woman. During the Renaissance, wooden blocks (I guess you could call it an early form of the Diaphram) were placed in women. In China, women used to actually drink Mercury to make themselves infertile (and yes, you can die from Mercury consumption). In fact, every single Christian denomination condemned contraceptives up until the 1920's when the Anglican Church approved it's use in limited cases, opening the door a little. It is, as you probably know, wide open right now.

What is wrong with present day contraceptives and birth controls? Well, medically speaking, the hormonal ones such as Norplant and DepoProvera actually increase a woman's risk for breast cancer among other things. There are also some women who have been rendered infertile as a result of these, and others who have miscarriages after going off as a result.

It also promotes premarital and extramarital sex. There are no strings attached if there are no kids. It is a general denial of any responsibility for the action taken, aka sex.

Onan in Genesis 38 used an early form of contraception - withdrawl. He was struck down for this.

The use of contraception or the general denial of children is one of the main things supported by American society. The body has gone from the temple of the Holy Spirit to something that we are ashamed of, to something that we hide, and to something that we can no longer freely give of. Marriage and love DEMAND a total gift of the self. When Christ was on the cross, this is EXACTLY what HE did - He gave of Himself TOTALLY. When we withhold part of ourself from our bride we are desecrating the very vows that we take at the altar, and lying with our bodies. Sex as God created it demands a total gift of the self. Sex straying from that, with the use of contraception or whatever, is a flat out lie.

Romans 1:24-25 - Therefore, God handed them over to impurity through the lusts of their hearts for the mutual degredation of their bodies. They exchanged teh truth of God for a lie and revered and worshiped the creature rather than the creator, who is blessed forever.

Sex with contraception denies the Creator. It says "I know what is best for us." It says "We dont want you involved in our one-flesh union in the most intimate ways." It says, "We dont want the gift of children that you give us." Some say that if God wants them to get pregant, contraception or not, He will. This leads to unwanted children (deny it if you will, but if you are using contraception, you dont want kids). So then why even be on contraception? Are you worried about your financial state? There are ways that you can continue without using contraception and without denying God that are wholesome and actually strengthen a marriage.

If you want me to say more, I can.

The bottom line - contraception and abortion are just a few of the many manifestations of the attack on sexuality, which also include lust, sexual abuse, pornogrpahy, adultery, divorce, self-hatred, test tube babies, rape, homosexuality, transvestites, plastic surgery, transexuals, sexual obsession, prostitution, pedaphilia....and the list goes on. This is a HUGE attack by Satan?

Why - We are created in the image and likeness of God. He stamped our very call to love into our bodies. The first effect of the fall was that Adam and Eve felt shame and they covered up. The desanctification of sex and marriage and of the human body are HUGE because they point us to Christ. Our very bodies help us to discover our life's call. And yet we have to cover them up. Hated is not the opposite of love, but lust. Lust is like darkness - instead of an absense of light, it is an absense of love. This world is so twisted. Playboy is a $10 billion a year business. Playboy has 3.5 million subscribers, and 20 million porn magazines are sold each month. Playboy's website which has some free teaser shots gets 5 million hits per day. THIS IS HUGE! These are just a small sampling of a nation which is buying into Satan's lies, into the objectification of mainly women, but some men as well. What a tragedy it is that such beauty is being sold to the lusts of men. Things are so bad that we can't even have crosses with Christ as He was truly crucified - naked - AND WITHOUT SHAME (reference to Adam and Eve's shame). He came to set us free from the bonds of Satan. Look around you. They are everywhere. And they are heavily ladden upon sexuality.

God bless

In the NT, Christ cursed the fruitless fig tree

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Wouldn't he be speaking of spiritual barrenness here in this passage?

Onan in Genesis 38 used an early form of contraception - withdrawl. He was struck down for this.

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This was, to the best of my knowledge because Onan didn't want to give his brother an heir. Not that he didn't want children.

Thank you for your input Malachi, I agree with most all of what you wrote. Only thing that bothered me was the post was directed at me and had a few assumptions in it. First assumption was that we use a form of contraception, which I never claimed to do or not do. Second assumption was that abortion would have been considered. Unless you tell me that the second half of your post was not directed at me, I stand to say that you have jumped to a few conclusions, all to give a good message but please redirect that part of your post...

What I said was that I didn't want to have children. Not that I didn't want to do God's Will. I would be perfectly content if God chose to 'bless' us with children. It is something that, if I were given the choice (by God), I would choose not to do.

Mixee.

Mix - I did not assume abortion was an option for you. In many ways it falls under the same category as contraception. I included more for my general purpose/proposition.

Also, most people I know who don't want children, whether not ever, or just not right now, use contraception. 9/10 sexually active women use some sort of contraception. An even higher percentage do that don't want children. This is why I included it, whether it is an option for you or not. I should not have included your name at the start simply because while part of it was in response to you, some of it was just general stuff and I didn't clarify the two. I apologize.

The fig tree can be taken in both ways. But in the end, the question remains - are we called just to be spiritually fruitful?

As to Onan, if you read in Deut 25:5-10, you will read about the punishment for disobeying the Levirate law, which is one of the things Onan did in Genesis 38. You find that the penalty is not death, but rather a hitting of the cheeck with a sandal. One is very far from the other. God's punishment was for something much more severe.

God bless

I want to have kids but not until 2 years after I get married, I will be getting married in 3 years, so that would make me what, 25. My parents didn't start having kids till they were 26 and 27, and I am the first of 5. I want to have enough money in the bank so that I don't have to have the baby with a sitter a week after I have it. I probably won't be a sahm, but I want to be able to spend a lot of my children's early life with them (wouldn't it be nice if I could have my babies in June since I am going to be a teacher, and then I would have 3 months without having to do anything but focus on the kids!) My boyfriend and I want to have 4 kids, we already have names picked out and everything! LOL, I will be sure to let you all know how it goes!

My partner and I have discussed the issue of children, and we have decided to wait (after we are married, that is) until we are financially and emotionally stable, until we both feel mature and ready for the tremendous responsibility of being parents. However, we won't be waiting for too long, as he is older than me, and wants to have kids while his is still young enough to enjoy raising them, and this might see me being a little young (by my standards - 23 or so), but I am sure that God will decide if/when the time is right.

Never forget the Biblical purpose of having children. If you don't know what that is, then you need to learn that before having children. Children are the only thing that we bring into this world that last for eternity. Our children are the only things that we can take with us to heaven. But in order to even have a chance at doing so, we must understand parenting and children from a Biblical perspective.

mixaleena,

You are wise to see that you have short comings and that you are not ready. Work hard to and diligently at those short comings because you never know when God will suprise you with a little bundle of joy. I wish that when I was your age that I would have seen myself as you do and not only that, but had done something about it.

First of all, I don't believe that anyone here fits into the story of Onan. Onan didn't want to complete his responibility to his brothers wife. I don't believe that this story can be used accurately as a Biblical basis for contraception. The NT talks about not withholding our bodies from each other as their bodies are not their own and the other has power over the others body. Sex is a gift of God. We are to rejoice with our wifes, we are to take pleasure with our wives. The purpose to a marriage is to raise goldy children. The method in which this is done is sex. But to say that is the one and only purpose of sex is, in my opinion and from what I can find from the Bible, a bit narrow minded.

Oracle - I said that sex has two purposes - unitive and procreative. I also said that you can't separate the two, maning that if you are closed off to children, then you aren't really unified for you are denying the true gift to your spouse. Also, do you think it is a coincidence that women have natural cycles, and that the two are so intimatly connected?

As to Onan - refusing to complete the brotherly responsibility is punishable, according to Deuteronomy - with a slap by a sandal, not death. Yet Onan was punished with death. Why? What did He do that was so much more aggregious that warranted this penalty?

I hardly think this thread was to debate contraception. So, if you're here to berate those who do, perhaps you can kindly move on?

My husband and I would prefer to wait 7-10 years from now. We've been married a year-and-a-half. I'm starting a new career in the next month, and there are things that we want to have and see and do before we have kids. Is that selfish? Most definitely. But I think it's better to be selfish BEFORE having children than to be selfish afterwards.

If God chooses to bless us with a child before we plan on it, that's okay, too. But we'd prefer to wait a long while.

I want to have kids someday, but it will be a while since I'm not married or even engaged. The funny thing is I have names picked out, of course they will change when my future husband gives his input. I really look forward to being a mom!!

It is better to be selfish before having kids than after...hmm...I will take option C

Just what does that mean?

well, i have no kids yet..i'd like to have at least 1 maybe 2..i'd like to have a boy and a girl! Why, i dunno, just do..and my son's gotta be names Otto, cus thats just a cool name!

No kids right now, plan to in the future.

I got married at 26 and finished college a month before my 30th birthday.  Because school took up so much of our time, we decided to wait until a couple of years before I finished to stregthen our relationship first.  Kids take such a committment that it helps greatly if your relationship with your spouse is as strong as it can be beforehand. 

The Bible encourages us to have children. However, there are so many factors involved - you should at least be at a certain maturity level.  Some people had that maturity level at 20, I didn't.  We are supposed to trust in God to provide, but God also gave us brains.  There is quite a bit of effort involved and one should be ready to accept that effort.  If that person can't put forth that effort, he/she has no business procreating until he/she can.

HA. Not sure if any of the people in this post still belong to these forums (I haven't been here myself since 2011 and that was just because I googled my username. ha!) We did end up having one child. He turns 5 this May. Funny.