Kids say funny stuff (Share Examples)

[drstevej]

This thread is to chronicle short illustrations that your kids or you as a kid said that crack you up.

[1] At age five I asked my daughter what she wanted to be when she grew up. Her quick reply was, "A boss!" I asked her, "What is a boss?" She replied, "Someone who tells others what to do." Boy did she know herself!

[2] When we were thinking of names for our second child our daughter suggested two names: Spot or Bagel.

Rep posts that make you chuckle.

RD

 

[MMXII]

I've been a bookworm for ages and wanted the same for my girls. Once we had gone to a bookstore and I only purchased books for them. My oldest daughter Meghan, probably 7 at the time asked me...while at the counter of course..."Mommy, aren't you going to get any adult books."

 

[drstevej]

I've been a bookworm for ages and wanted the same for my girls. Once we had gone to a bookstore and I only purchased books for them. My oldest daughter Meghan, probably 7 at the time asked me...while at the counter of course..."Mommy, aren't you going to get any adult books."

And of course your pastor was in line behind you.

 

[MMXII]

And of course your pastor was in line behind you.

Oh my gosh, I would have just died. It was bad enough with the clerk hearing it.

This one I'll tell on myself. When I was 5 or so my Mother got a new watch for Christmas. It had a sweep second hand. I told Mom to show people her "second hand" watch

 

[Watchman4hm]

One day I took the family walleye fishing on the river...We just had to walk down this hill and there we are on the banks of the river..Right where you come down is an area where you can fish and not have to many trees or brush to have to cast around...Its the easiest area to fish that we had there...So I moved down to the hard area where a more experienced fisherman could cast.......The banks are pretty steep, except back at the area that I wanted the eight year old to fish...Well I got snagged anyway, and went back to the tackle box where the eight year old was...She was down in the water with this strong current moving all around and splashing..I said Savannah you are going to scare all the fish away..You must stay still if your in the water, you cant just move that much...She looked up at me and said; "dad, the fish cant see me, I have my camouflage shorts on silly"...

 

[~ Gig ~]

My daughter at age 3 announced in a public bathroom "Mommy your bum is too big for that potty." I wanted to crawl into crack in the floor then the lady in the stall next to me laughed and said I'm glad she can't see mine

 

[drstevej]

Gallagher says the reason God makes kids so cute is so we won't kill them!

 

[MMXII]

Gallagher says the reason God makes kids so cute is so we won't kill them!

I love Gallagher.

 

[ctay]

We went camping a few years ago and took our granddaughter with us. It was memorial day weekend we left and all the ones close in one are were full already so instead of going home we decided to go to this hunters campground in the forest, it ended up being free too. I took my granddaughter to this one area where you can swim and picnic. She was about 4 at the time. She was swimming and decided she had to go to the bathroom. It was one of those holes in the ground type (no running water). I took her in there and she went up to the potty looked down and then backed up so quick saying at the same time "No, No, No, I can't use that toilet its broken!!!" I kept telling her it wasn't broken but she wouldn't use it. I had to take her all the way back to the camper to use the bathroom.

 

[edie19]

one of my favorites - a little over 2 years ago my grandson Luke and I were running some errands. We drove past a cemetery in the course of our errand. As we drove by Luke pointed out the window to the cemetery and asked me if God lived there.
Me: no - God lives in heaven.
Luke: where's heaven (so much for him being satisfied with my very simple answer)
Me: no one knows exactly, we do know that it is a wonderful place though. There are some big words to describe God - one of them tells us that He can be everywhere at the same time.
Luke: so, that's a God thing?
Me: yep, God can be at my house, at your house and Nana Tina's house all at the same time.
Luke: OK - but just so you know, I find that incredibly hard to believe

 

[drstevej]

Luke will be a handful in the future.

My brother at age five measured the chimney with a yardstick and declared that Santa could not come down the chimney. He is an engineer today.

 

[BellaSong]

One day when I was about 3 years old, I wandered off by myself in the grocery store (It was the first time I had done this). As my mother was frantically looking for my, she came around the corner in the vegetable section and found me standing up on a box, looking into the mirror of one of the containers and giving a lecture of world hunger. What exactly I said, I have no idea, but apparently it attracted alot of attention from shoppers.



Maybe some of them took it to heart in some small way... I don't know.

 

[drstevej]

That reminds me of the sermon my daughter delivered in the kitchen one Christmas using the kitchen trash can for a pulpit.

Another time she asked if I could mention in a sermon that she could play the piano by ear!

 

[BellaSong]

That reminds me of the sermon my daughter delivered in the kitchen one Christmas using the kitchen trash can for a pulpit.

Another time she asked if I could mention in a sermon that she could play the piano by ear!

Well, did you?

 

[Tiffanya]

This is kind of embarrasing but then again....I was only young and now just have to laugh about it.

I would've been 5-6 years old? I admit "publicly" I was a bed wetter lol

Mum in order to get me out of this bad habit, used to wake me up at odd hours of the night and also used to leave a "potty" so when I got up would use it, something I used to do sometimes by myself.

One day, when I got up in the morning....mum & dad said to me I wa a "good girl" as I got up myself (used sleep talk too, possibly walk?). Anyhow, the asked me if I remember using the potty and I said "no"!. My dad then burst into laughter and said: "Wish you had gotten the right potty and NOT my shoe"

Yep!! I had used his working shoe instead of the potty hahaha

 

[RoseyK]

This is forever preserved on film.

Wheb I was 5 years old, my parents took my sister and I to the Philadelphia Zoo. My dad was a home movie camera buff and brought his movie camera along.

The flamingoes were doing what comes natural to them during their mating season. My parents did not realize what was going on as we appoached the area. I walked up alongside the fence to where the flamingoes were in their natural habitat, and on camera said, "Daddy, what are the pink birds doing?"

I don't remember if I got an answer that day because no anwer was recorded, but my parents loved to show the film to other family members, and it wasn't til years later, that I realized what they were doing.

 

[BellaSong]

If anyone lives on the East Coast and has a really good and random memory, they might actually remember this.

When I was 4 or 5, I went to the Bon Marche to go see Santa. When he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said "I want a bell, one that rings." Now this made semse to my mother because she had a few bells that didn't ring and I hated that, but someone who had a role in the advertising for the Bon Marche was near and on the spot asked if they could put me in their winter commercial. So if you every saw that, you saw me!

My sister was going to be in it too, but her response was that she wanted every chanel on television.

 

[drstevej]

Well, did you?

No. But we still laugh about that.

I have an evangelist friend whose wife and 8 year old (David) were in the grocery check out line.

David asked the clerk, "What are you trusting to get to heaven?" The clerk was flustered and said, "Well, I try to do my best."

David looked at his mom and said, "She'll never make it!"

 

[RoseyK]

My daughter and I became believers and started attending church when she was about 7 years old. In her Sunday School class the leasson was about how Jesus threw out the merchants from the temple.

Every day after school, my daughter would go to my mom's house. Wednesday was bingo night. My daughter, Michelle applied her Sunday school lesson to my mom and told her how angry Jesus would be if she went into his house and gambled.

I got a very upset call from my mom while I was at work. (Out of the mouths of babes)

 

[BellaSong]

No. But we still laugh about that.

I have an evangelist friend whose wife and 8 year old (David) were in the grocery check out line.

David asked the clerk, "What are you trusting to get to heaven?" The clerk was flustered and said, "Well, I try to do my best."

David looked at his mom and said, "She'll never make it!"