Kids or not?

[bubblegirl23]

If you met someone uable to have children, would you marry them even though you wanted them?

 

[Thithy]

Not a real big kid person, so I'd be ok with not having children. Although, that might change later in life. But I think I would still marry them even if I later wanted them. It would be really hard though if I had my heart set on having children. I'd probably "adopt" my friends children.

 

[Mother Vashti]

If I find a hairy man, not fond of talking, tries on my bras every now and again, AND he's sterile....

....Man. I would believe in soulmates, once and for all.

 

[caitlincares]

Why is adoption not an option?
There is also always artificial insemination.

 

[Thithy]

yes, but what if it's the women who can't have children, then A.I is not possible.

 

[caitlincares]

yes, but what if it's the women who can't have children, then A.I is not possible.

Husband's sperm could be inseminated into a surogate.

 

[vibrant]

to the op, you're creating for yourself a false dilemma when you rule out adoption... if i felt convicted by God to have children, i wouldn't marry someone who didn't want children and/or couldn't be a father.

 

[2Timothy2]

If I loved her, and was sure it was in God's will, you bet. Her not being able to have children would not really be an issue. I'd like to have kids, but the right woman is far more important.

Who voted they would cheat??? (rhetorical question)

 

[KeilCoppes]

Depending on how old I was, I'd hold out for adoption. The opportunity to bring up children in the faith is an important thing.

 

[Grimace]

I'm not sure what I would do.

I'm not even sure if ~I~ can have kids. The doctor has given me a pretty grim prognosis, but after initial shock, I was very okay with it. My heart has been tugging toward adoption ever since I was a small child, and I really believe that I will be adopting children someday. I really feel that God wants me to have children (just maybe not biologically).

So if my potential future husband couldn't have kids, I'd be glad to marry him - if he was open to adopting kids. If he wasn't open to adoption, then I probably wouldn't marry him, because I feel that is what God wants me to do.

 

[desi]

Kids are powerfully on your side if you have them and raise them right.

 

[fishstix]

to the op, you're creating for yourself a false dilemma when you rule out adoption... if i felt convicted by God to have children, i wouldn't marry someone who didn't want children and/or couldn't be a father.

Actually, I don't think that she has created a false dilemma. Sometimes it isn't just an issue of not being capable of conceiving and/or bearing children. Some people have reasons that they just can't have children around period. That would rule out adoption as well as having biological children. And no I'm not talking legal reasons - there are other good reasons too.

Bubblegirl - there are plenty of people out there who don't necessarily want kids but who do want to get married.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Sometimes it isn't just an issue of not being capable of conceiving and/or bearing children. Some people have reasons that they just can't have children around period.

Just as a simple example, I have a friend who is an epileptic, but not too bad, so they adopted. She can't drive, but her epilepsy is fairly controlled. If her epilepsy had been much more wild, then she probably couldn't have even safely carried a child in her arms lest she seize up and drop them.

 

[sakamuyo]

Children are important to me. I can't imagine God putting a woman in my life in such a way that I would fall in love and get past the 2nd date, if she didn't want children. That being said, if God did ask me to make that sacrifice, I absolutely would. It's not something I would choose for myself, though.

 

[hischildsindik]

I'm with sakamuyo, I deeply desire children, but if there were reasons and God asked me too, I would marry for love, even without children. Although that is a hard thought to ponder. I suppose God would diminish or remove the desire if that were the case or perhaps place me in a situation that would aleaviate the desire for my own children.

 

[JPPT1974]

If the Lord wants me to get married and have children, that is all up to him. But I prefer the aunt role. Have them for a few hours but then take them back to their parents.

 

[LovinGod]

If the Lord brought someone in my life that didn't want to or couldn't have children, but He instilled in me the desire to have children, that would be pretty complicated, wouldn't it? I like to believe that if we are walking in fellowship with God, He gives us the desires of our hearts (because they are His desires).

As I'm pretty indifferent about having children, I would definitely not mind a husband who couldn't or doesn't want to have them.

 

[fieldmouse3]

I would be totally fine not having kids.

 

[bubblegirl23]

Adoption is not an option in my case (the OP) because of my severe allergies. Headlice, swimming lessons and science classes all entail chemicals that would make me have anaphylactic shock if not death. Even if I chose to risk it the adoption rulings would exclude me.

AI is not possible. Getting pregnant would cause danger enough! I've begged for sterilisation to ensure I never had this danger and they won't even agree to speak about it. A solid no.

I started this thread as an indication of how small my chances are of finding a man who would love me no matter what. I think it's pretty slim.

As for kids, before I was sick I used to babysit and help my friends with their kids. I love my puppy as if she was a baby - complete with baby nightdress & hand-feedings.

 

[Ave Maria]

Yes, I'd be fine with it. Love is what matters, not whether or not one can have a child. Besides, I'm not totally sure that I want to have children anyway.