Oh yeah...
I'm pretty new to Christian too..
well I've been like this for a err..
about a year and a half.
I'm FOREVER burning FIRE just like Jesus told me lol
well, that's enough discription for myself..
Anyways,
I, too, felt same way as you did
But you know what, Jesus will find you
because you were once a child of God.
I've been depressed of my oppression in me for a week
you know, during that depression, I never found anything in myself?!
Why? why did I felt nothing?
I guess it's because I refused everything in my life and seeing only myself.
Only my bad things and not others, only, about myself.
than when it was like er..a bit over a week
I would find myself, knee and pray like a desperate person trying to find his/her way to Jesus. Well, it happens lol
It happens suddenly.
It happens naturally.
There is no definate victory in faith.
Again, faith defines belief, faith, is how you can keep it. How you can protect it.
I experienced my family divorce not long ago (about 3 month)
Well, I favored the divorce since my family always fought
I lost my trust and faith in my father..so nada nada nada, I favored mom, and kicked my father out (err..I didn't kick him physically lol)

Sometimes I miss him but thinking what he..have done to my mother, it hurts me and still rejects my father. Of course, I forgave him long ago.
err..am I going to far into my story?
If I was, sorry lol
I'm trying to find point in it, well here it is.
In this community of mordern world (like Canada and USA), people are BLINDED by the good things and not bad things. Christian is NO EXCEPTION. who knows when they er...hit Jesus's heart and become satanist or atheist? WHo knows?
Many of people go like "What a ****** life GOD have given me, I might as become SATANIST"
HAHAHA weird people -.-
but it's true..sadly that's what people are becoming now.
Again, they lost reality of the world?
Remember when Jesus said in Bible?
"May the poor be comforted"? I dunno where it was but there was
you may find yourself, millions of poor people, believe in God in whatever situation they are in.
It's so beautiful!
I hope you can be like that too
Again, it's faith again, it's about testimony.
Remember that. Remember that your in the world of trial to heaven.
Giving up means your giving up what was the best and most important love in your life. Jesus can love you so much if you love him. well Jesus loves us all already but lol
I guess it's my way to love him.
use your heart, do not jump into conclusion. Remember
the good parts of your life and not only bad things
that's EXACTLY what Demons wants you to see.
Remember, fight and win, TRIUMP!!