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Just Wondering
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Celtic Camel
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You're not alone...
my mum & her words are probably one of the biggest triggers in my life...
From simple things like commenting on how good someone else looks (which my head interprets as therefore I obviously don't), to saying someone else is 'skinny' (which my head determines means I need to be), or even one of her 'best' about a new top I bought "That's quite slimming on you" (I turned 'round and sarcastically said, "Thanks, but I didn't think I needed it"... ) I've worked hard to get back to a 'healthy' weight, I have to fight hard to make sure her comments to send me down again, and these are just some of the nicer examples... You know, I think our mum's don't even realise what they've said or how it messes with our brain... I just thank God that he has promised to give me the strength to 'filter' what I hear, and I'm learning to ignore those things that would trigger me & learning to love my mum in a different way to what I wanted our relationship to be like... Does that make any sense?
Hang in there, sweetie. Remember, her words have no power over you unless you let them. Ask God to show you the truth, and tell the enemy to get lost!
Love & prayers always,
my mum & her words are probably one of the biggest triggers in my life...
From simple things like commenting on how good someone else looks (which my head interprets as therefore I obviously don't), to saying someone else is 'skinny' (which my head determines means I need to be), or even one of her 'best' about a new top I bought "That's quite slimming on you" (I turned 'round and sarcastically said, "Thanks, but I didn't think I needed it"... ) I've worked hard to get back to a 'healthy' weight, I have to fight hard to make sure her comments to send me down again, and these are just some of the nicer examples... You know, I think our mum's don't even realise what they've said or how it messes with our brain... I just thank God that he has promised to give me the strength to 'filter' what I hear, and I'm learning to ignore those things that would trigger me & learning to love my mum in a different way to what I wanted our relationship to be like... Does that make any sense?
Hang in there, sweetie. Remember, her words have no power over you unless you let them. Ask God to show you the truth, and tell the enemy to get lost!
Love & prayers always,
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Tiggie
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I have had an ed for so long now but i can honestly say people most of the time don't mean harm by what they say to us that so called "triggers" us. we all know we read too much into what people say to us, so i've come to learn not to take everything eveeryone says to me so seriously because i know my head is gonna reinterpret it anyway.Celtic Camel,
Yes your post made sense. I guess I'm just finding it hard to filter them. I'm still hearing what I want to hear, and even twisting things to make them be what I want to hear. I guess I am selfishly using her as a triggering mechanism. I guess I'm not out of this yet.
I don't see her often. Maybe it's just her way of trying to make me feel good about my weight? I don't know..
Thankyou for your reply
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beckybooiloveu
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ummm... yes my mum does trigger me... but sort of in a different way... wen she says i ahve lost weight it does give me more determination to lose more... but it is more so the fact that (and i dont want this to be mean or anytihgn) she is overweight... and i dont want to be overweight my whole life...
also... it triggers me wen my friends say i have lost weight and look great... and lately they all say i am "fading away into a shadow" (which is not true) but it makes me want to lose weight and look good...
i dont really believe them wen they say i have lost weight or look good though...i kind of turn it around and make it that they are saying that if i lost weight i would look good... i know i shouldnt...
also... it triggers me wen my friends say i have lost weight and look great... and lately they all say i am "fading away into a shadow" (which is not true) but it makes me want to lose weight and look good...
i dont really believe them wen they say i have lost weight or look good though...i kind of turn it around and make it that they are saying that if i lost weight i would look good... i know i shouldnt...
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Celtic Camel
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I totally get that - with my immediate family (& most of my extended one), I am the only one who is not overweight... just another of the issues involved with the ed thoughts I guess...
to make things more interesting, while I was trying to gain to a healthy weight, she was dieting... I was trying to not think about calories etc... she was parading a calorie counter book every time she ate or prepared to eat... gotta love our mums, eh?...still, I am trying to believe she means no harm, she just still doesn't understand, and never will...and I know she does love me in her own way...
Hang in there girls, and remember we are not our parents, our past doesn't have to be our future & it is God's thoughts towards us which count - He loves us & wants great things for us!
He is so good
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emilythestrange
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I know what you mean about your mom being overweight and you not wanting to be like that, coz my mom is always complaining about her weight to me coz she is overweight, and I dont ever want to be as big as she is! (i do really love her though!!) But what scares me is that she was my weight (until recently coz ive lost weight) like her whole adult life until she was 30ish, so im really scared that the same will happen to me! Ill go to sleep on my 30th bday the weight i am and then when I wake up ill suddenly be HUGE!! Kind of funny, but scarry too.
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lovesbrightpink
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yea my best friend in high school would say that I was disapearing. Because I lost soo much weight. My mom would always say keep losing weight. Which wasnt mean but it really triggered me. But the worst was my mom would say just like 10 more pounds. Or you just have to lose ur double chin now. I would make me want to fast for days.s
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squigglemonster
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My mum would panic and shout how much she weighed and would always weigh herself and tell me she's fat and needs to lose weight.
The scary thing is, I'm close to that weight, so all I can think is I have to lose weight. I must lose weight. I'm too fat. My mum thinks that's fat, and she's older and taller and supposed to weigh more, so if it's fat for her, then it's huge for me...
The scary thing is, I'm close to that weight, so all I can think is I have to lose weight. I must lose weight. I'm too fat. My mum thinks that's fat, and she's older and taller and supposed to weigh more, so if it's fat for her, then it's huge for me...
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